What does, I need space really mean?
What does this question mean to you?
Every relationship is different. This question has no boundaries in any kind of a relationship. There could be an agreement that you are steadily dating, no strings attached, or a couple who is living together. Even a married couple find themselves in this awkward position when this question arises.
It leaves the question, how do you feel? and what do you do?
Do you feel you have a pit in your stomach? Do you feel relieved? Do you feel that you need some space also? or you don't know what to feel, this came as a shock?
Conversations like this are never pleasant, no matter what type of a relationship you are in. It has a feeling of a door closing if wanting it or not.
Most times it's not what you want. You want a relationship full of joy, and honesty and respect. We don't see this coming when we love the person were with. We begin to dismiss their passive behavior and make excuse's for them. Your heart is being put in a hurtful position. Once you begin to make excuses, changes are already taken place. You have caught yourself, and begin to talk and draw him closer to you, in order get a better understanding of what is happening with him. Surprise him with dinner or go out together to his favorite place. See what kind of reaction you will get from him.
1. Does he hold your hand?
2. Does he hold you close?
3. Does he kiss you?
4. Does he tell you, he loves you?
5. Is he polite? Considerate?
Are you both doing many things separately, that you normally do together? These questions will give you a pretty accurate evaluation of where this relationship is going. If you are receiving anything else but a loving experience than a conversation will need to take place.
Prolonging this will hurt you. Everyone deserves love, and the right kind of love is very important. It is more painful to be alone in a relationship than anything else.
I don't recommend you speak to him the same night you are out or having dinner. It will have a different impact because you didn't have a chance to settle down your emotions and accept how you are feeling. When he is home from work, and he's comfortable for the night. I believe this is the best time to have a conversation there are no distractions. You're calm, and clear on what you will like to talk about. Do it gently, I'm saying gently because it will affect you more then it will him, be kind to yourself.
You must be prepared for the answers. Good ones, and the ones you don't want to hear. This is the hardest part. You should be ready emotionally, by staying calm and be willing to understand the other person, no matter how much it hurts. We tend to forget they have a right to their feelings because we are so involved. You already knew something was wrong, please take your time and guide your heart through this.
It is one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do. Loving someone and having to release him from your heart. You must honor and respect his space.
You don't want to guilt trip him into having to stay or manipulate him into staying, and please don't beg him into staying. Speak about your feelings of him wanting his space and don't go far off course during the conversation.
The level of respect for you grows, and you become more valuable. There are situations where a man will come back, because of the way a woman controls and handles herself, and he doesn't let her go.
You have to be patient, and continue to live and enjoy your life. There is nothing more exciting to a man than a woman who is happy, and full of joy.
You can contact me at www.valueurself.com or send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org
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Have a blessed day
I look forward to speaking to you soon.
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