Saturday, October 17, 2020

3 Signs You're Dating a Narcissist

Who Are You Dating?




You are here because you are noticing behavior that you never witnessed before. A twist in your emotions, and a sudden uncertainty where his mood and comments are coming from. You've given him a pass for his uncomfortable attitude and unkindness once, but doing so it's become worse, and you need an explanation. 

Your beginning to wonder if it could be something happening at his job. You might be even questioning yourself if you are doing something wrong?

Let me reassure you that you are perfectly fine. Trust me, It isn't you.


1.  Jealousy of you having more people in your life than they do.

The attitude and resentment, that you are noticing, that change of mood swings he has, all stems from the need a narcissist has to want to be the center of your world. He doesn't have the relationships you do. You have connections on a deeper level than he does. The only thing he has is you.

He will express his feelings by lashing out and make it uncomfortable for you to go out and enjoy yourself with the ones you love. The guilt trip he places in your lap becomes very heavy and It creates an emotion of unhappiness, and you begin to feel that it is wrong to hurt his feelings. 

This is bounding you to him on emotion. Nothing should matter more. He Thinks he is enough to make you complete. 

You must look into his life, before getting deeper involved with him. 

Who are his friends? Who is his family? Does he have any friends? 

2.  Overwhelming you with gifts and surprises

Every girl loves getting gifts. Who wouldn't? The twist behind a Narcissist's overwhelming you with love at first sight. Is to get you exactly where they want you. They have your undivided attention, and you are being swept off your feet without knowing what is happening to you. Be aware of this. The mistake that happens is that we get so caught up in the moment that we put blinders on and can't see the entire picture of what is truly going on

This is a recipe for disaster. Once the relationship moves into an exclusive one, then it becomes toxic almost immediately. The criticism start. He begins to devalue you. You begin to question your self-worth and the type of person you are, and begin to believe what he is saying to you is true.

Notice the obvious. He isn't giving you much attention anymore. There aren't any more flowers or gifts. Small talk now demands. 

You must be aware of the sudden changes in his personality. If he is angry a lot and tends not to be happy about anything. There is always a problem or dispute. 


3.  You are being harassed daily

There is nothing more degrading than to have the person you love tell you they don't like anything you do. From what you wear, to the food you cook or the shows you watch. 

Picking at the way you look. As a female, we love to hear words such as, "you look beautiful," "I love your smile," "you have great taste."

Unfortunately, with a narcissist, there will only be put-downs and insults to make you feel powerless and defeated. Their goal is to capture your emotions and have you desperately trying to have their approval, which leaves you in a place of despair. 

If you find yourself within these 3 Signs, it is time to reevaluate going further in this relationship. Always remember, your happiness comes first. No one has a right to treat you with disrespect or unkindness. 

Your love should never shadow what is going on in your life at this present time. You have complete control, don't let anyone or yourself tell you differently. There is no room for excuses. 

Happiness and joy are apart of sharing. Always be honest with yourself. If you are not excited about your life and are treated in a way that drains your spirit, please make that change. Love is such a precious gift from God. No one has the right to take it.

Having love in our lives is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

Reach out, take the first step. Your life deserves it. 

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time 
to reach you.

Learn more about me
by visiting my websites:

www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com


Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com



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Thursday, September 24, 2020

3 Top Things a Narcissist Won't Stand For

                            

                            3 Things You Must Be Aware Of





I'm going to share with you something that I didn't notice that was happening to me. If you are in this situation right now, by reading this you will have the heads up to what to do next. 

Keep reading so you can actually see the unthinkable that leads to the moment of despair. The (3) things that a narcissist needs to survive. 

No matter if they are in a relationship or not, they must have these "Three Things" to detour their insecurities.

Unfortunately, because of this power struggle a narcissist has within themselves, we become a target of their emptiness and pain. 

We have left hurt and our life in disarray for meaningless recognition a narcissist feels he deserves. 


 Your Happiness Interrupts Their Attention

1. Feeling happy about your success or your children is a problem for the narcissist. If you are sharing excitement or joy the narcissist will feel threatened. The first emotion will happen. He will begin to become angry. He will find something or anything to argue about. It could be about the food you prepared or something that happened last week. 

The fight won't end there unfortunately, it will continue throughout the night, by either sending your grown kids back to their homes or send the kids to their rooms. He will begin to curse at you and find things that are wrong with you to make you feel terrible about yourself and what you're happy about. 

The sad part of this entire scenario you start to feel that everything that happened is all your fault. You begin to question yourself. Maybe I don't deserve the promotion and my boss felt bad for me. He could be right. The kids didn't work hard for their awards. Until he is satisfied with the attention he receives. The narcissist wins.


 How A Narcissist Needs Supply More Than Oxygen

2.  A narcissist runs his life on Attention, we have established this in 1. They become more dangerous and unpredictable when the thrill is over. When you were sought after, he would bring you flowers, and special gifts and kept the excitement alive in your relationship, until the day came when now you are living ordinary lives. Working, cleaning, and paying bills. To the realistic person this is all part of life and growing with each other and pulling together in good and bad times. Loving one another through all the challenges.

Wait...The narcissist doesn't live by this life. He needs the day you first met to continue in his life at all times. Unfortunately, a narcissist will go out and seek more supply. By supply, I mean more women, any woman who will listen and fall for his non-sense. They are actually running from themselves and their insecurities. They are gasping for air needing and wanting to feel validated and a center of someone's life. 

This will put you at an unnecessary point of unkindness. You will begin to see his ugly side come out. He will be frustrated and moody. He will make sure that you are not doing enough to make him happy. No matter how much you try to keep up with everything. In this turning point of your relationship, he has found someone else, and be ready for the abandonment stage. 

Two ways he will leave. He will leave by packing up and not say a word, and you will be left in limbo and breathless or he will leave a path of destruction behind. By destroying everything in your home and making false police reports. He does this, so his new supply will be sympathetic and have her arms ready to embrace him. 

                                      
The Narcissist Will Not Tolerate The Word "No" 

3. A narcissist hates the word "no" more than anything else. Because they feel they are the center of the universe, that they believe no one has a right to say no to anything they suggest or say. Once you say this word to the narcissist, make sure you understand the repercussions. They find this to be an attack and a narcissist will not take this lightly. 

By not praising them, in the way they want can leave you in a dangerous position. They can go into a narcissistic panic and begin threatening you. Applying fear is their way to make you take a step back. In their eyes of delusion, they feel no one has the right to question anything they do or say. "How dare we!"

We must continue to stand up to what we believe in. They are nothing but bullies who think they have a right to push people around and make them bow down to their every whim. A narcissist is always on edge and ready for battle at every moment of their life. They have issues beyond what we can fix. It's like trying to repair the shattered glass. This would make our life impossible for happiness, success, joy, and love.

I knew I didn't deserve a life of pain. I wanted my smile back, I wanted to hear myself laugh something I haven't done in so long. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it was a must to get away from him and never look back. I knew that the challenges I will be facing are just an obstacle towards freedom of torment and misery he put me through. This was worth getting out. 

Don't let comfort convince you that he is the one. I'm sure you have told yourself, he is everything you have been looking for in a man. Not if you have to go through this. Did you read what I wrote? Trying to convince someone to love you, and treat you amazing, will put you in a painful place. There is no happy ending here. This is not a fairy tale. 

Doing more for them to compensate for happiness will leave you broken, and won't change your situation. It doesn't matter what you do or try to do better. This isn't what love feels like. This is your happiness and love your compromising. Never forget who you are in any circumstance, most of all never let anyone control the love you have in your heart, and never give up wanting to live the life you are created to live. 

Begin today and make this change. Laugh, and smile embrace life's goodness, because you deserve it. If you're stuck, join thousands of women like yourself who have changed their lives with my Personalized Meditations created for your specific circumstance. This changed my entire life. It will change yours. 
 

Begin today by clicking the link on the bottom of the picture.




You will begin a new life of; Confidence Joy and Love. 
#amiliapowers #coffeewithamilia #meditations


Sunday, August 16, 2020

3 Signs You are a Victim of Narcissist Abuse

 

Understanding the Signs







1. You begin to attack yourself and cause self-sabotage.

You begin to play scenes of the abuse over and over again in your mind to the point you hear the abuser's voice as it is still present at this very moment. 

You start to believe what the narcissist told you is true. You become ashamed of your life. The abuser has instilled in your mind that you are worthless and any dreams and hopes you have will never amount to anything worth pursuing. 

You inhaled all his toxic energy into your life. The unfortunate part of this self-sabotage is that you took complete responsibility for everything he's done. 


2. Blaming yourself for the abuse

Narcissists know how to manipulate you into believing that the abuse is caused because you are not enough. He will compare you with other wives and girlfriends of his friends and make you feel you are not holding up to the standards the abuser wants. 

You begin to feel less and less confident about yourself and you start to look for ways to change to keep him. The competition game you are playing with yourself seems endless. No matter what you try to do, he makes sure you know it's not enough by treating everyone around you with white gloves. 

He keeps you feeling on edge at all times as if he will leave you at any given moment. You start to wonder; "What can I do better?" "What's wrong with me?" Blaming yourself shines upon you. 


3. You suffer from health problems.

You find that stress is the biggest factor that has taken over your life. You forget to eat, or you eat too much. Anxiety kicks in because you don't know what could happen next and you're always on edge. 

Sleepless nights are happening on a regular basis, and you don't know if it's because you are malnourished or worried about your safety. 

Nightmares become a part of your rest. You wake up in night sweats or gasping for air. Your mind is on overdrive and you can't seem to slow it down. 

The only thing that keeps you going is coffee that you can't wait to have a lot of during the day. Being focused at this point is the hardest thing you had to do. 



WHAT DO I DO NOW?

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman who found her way through her darkest hour. I never gave up hope. I never gave up on me. I will never give up on you.

I knew I didn't deserve a life of pain. I wanted my smile back, I wanted to hear myself laugh something I haven't done in so long. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it was a must to get away from him and never look back. I knew that the challenges I will be facing are just an obstacle towards freedom of torment and misery he put me through. This was worth getting out. 

Having love in our lives is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

Reach out to me, and I will guide you through the process. I will answer all of your questions and concerns you have. 

You will begin a new life of; Confidence Joy and Love. 

Begin today, and leave me a message. 

Take your first step towards freedom.

amiliapowers@gmail.com

Visit me and Learn more about me:
www.valueurself.com
www.coffeewithamilia.com

I look forward to hearing from you.
Have a blessed day.
Amilia Powers








Thursday, August 13, 2020

Who Are You Convincing?



          
ARE YOU CONVINCING ME OR YOURSELF?






Did you ever have a conversation with a friend, and they tell you how wonderful and joyous their relationship is?

You know the story isn't true. You're the one who has picked up the phone in the middle of the night when she was upset, and you were there when she cried so much she couldn't catch her breath.

I was that person who reached out to friends and family day in and day out. The thoughts in my head were, this will pass. It will be alright. Tomorrow is another day. I knew I was well supported in every way good or bad. No matter what the circumstances. In my heart, I hoped one day he would change and things would be different. 

I would sit in silence and tell myself over and over that he will treat me better it's just a phase, and I'm focusing too much on the negative.

What I was actually doing was trying to convince myself that I was with the right person. 

When we invest so much time in a person, our energy our love our kindness. Even when the relationship goes sour, we find ourselves never giving up, we become determined to find good in our situation and stay even though it hurts. 

It doesn't make sense to most people. As females, when we share our heart with a man we take it seriously, and we do what we can to hold our relationship, and families together. 

The most important thing we must do is stop working with our heart and our emotions when it comes to our happiness and joy. 

Your asking what do I mean? If we direct our thoughts on what is happening in our lives and leave emotion out of it. We will recognize that the relationship we are in is unhealthy and doesn't make us or our family stronger together. It will eventually tear us apart. How long can we play a convincing role with ourselves and the people around us? It gets exhausting.

Don't let comfort convince you that he is the one. I'm sure you have told yourself, he is everything you have been looking for in a man. Not if you have to go through this. Did you read what I wrote? Trying to convince someone to love you, and treat you amazing, will put you in a painful place. 
There is no happy ending here. This is not a fairy tale. 

Doing more for them to compensate for happiness will leave you broken, and won't change your situation. It doesn't matter what you do or try to do better. This isn't what love feels like. 

This is your happiness and love your compromising. 

Never forget who you are in any circumstance, most of all never let anyone control the love you have in your heart, and never give up wanting to live the life you are created to live.

Begin today and make this change. Laugh, and smile embrace life's goodness, because you deserve it. If you're stuck, join thousands of women like yourself who have changed their lives with my Personalized Meditations created for your specific circumstance. 

This changed my entire life. It can change yours. 

Begin today by clicking the link on the bottom of the picture.




These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and be more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. Help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

Be blessed,
I look forward to speaking with you.
Amilia Powers



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Saturday, August 8, 2020

What Have I Done?--Narcissist Abuse

 


WHAT HAVE I DONE?





To the outside world, I was "typical." A young woman, divorced, a mother of two small children-nothing really out of the ordinary. Getting married so young had led to getting divorced young. My husband and I both wanted to live different lives. It was an inevitable ending to something that had happened far too early in our lives. 

As I moved on with my life, I  struggled financially, but I was determined to make it. I knew what I wanted. I stayed focused, saved, and purchased a home, only to realize that it took a lot of money to maintain that home. I had to get a second job to better support myself and provide for the kids. There were no other options and I wanted everything to work out. Yet, nothing was great. Working wasn't my problem. I wasn't afraid of hard work, I was more successful at attracting the wrong kind of men than I realized.

As time moved on and I met a man. He was wonderful and treated me the way every girl dreams of being treated. I mistook that for the amazing love and unfortunately, it turned into pain and torment. My fear of letting go consumed me because I loved him and wanted it to work, all I felt and tried to hold onto was the day we met. I also had to settle for a second job that I didn't like, long dreadful hours that was physically exhausting but felt I needed. I wasn't happy. I was trying to keep up appearances. There was no balance or harmony in my life anywhere. Furthermore, knowing that I was responsible was agonizing. My life deteriorated and unraveled. I didn't like the person I turned into, becoming more distant from my life and never finding peace. I was just existing. 

I began journaling my everyday encounter with him. How it was impacting my life. Writing everything down in a journal was my release. I emptied my thoughts of emotional pain, and verbal abuse, helped me get through one more day. I needed to unload, and felt this was the only way to stay strong. 

It was that one day, I knew I had to admit to myself if I was going to become more invested in my life than just one more day I would need to take control of what is happening in my life. The stress was overwhelming, no rest. The kids were unhappy. I couldn't believe what I was writing in my journal. Who lives like this. Under these conditions of so much hostility, anger, and violence. 

I made this a habit in my life. Like waking up every day and brushing my teeth. You know when your life is spiraling out of control when you know what is going to happen the next day. There wasn't any joy to look forward to. This was the lowest point of my life. When the voices inside your head are screaming at you to make a change now. Not next week, next month. Today.

That one question that changed my life. "Is this the LIFE you dreamed of? 

From that day forward, my life did a 360 without hesitation. I believe I stuck it out as long as I could. There wasn't any change in sight. I hoped and prayed that whatever was going on with him would change, but it was getting worse. The memory I held onto the day we first met faded away. 

When the relationship came to a close, it was a violent ending to something that should have happened months ago. I wasn't frightened. I prayed and stayed in faith throughout the relationship and I believed that whatever was going to happen would be the best for me and my family.

Don't wait. Love is not unkind. Happiness and joy are apart of sharing. Always be honest with yourself. If you are not excited about your life and are treated in a way that drains your spirit, please make that change. Love is such a precious gift from God. No one has the right to take it. Let love, and faith guide your life, you can't make any mistakes with that. 

A part of this is written from my upcoming book "PAIN BEHIND BROKEN VASES" the book goes into more detail. This is a summary. It will definitely keep you at the edge of your seat. You will be in suspense throughout the novel. Check it out, by clicking the links below.



During this time of struggle, I was able to create "Personalize Meditations" that are helping thousands of women across the country overcome obstacles they thought were impossible.

Start Now. Live the life you are created to live.



Join Me Today

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Be blessed, I look forward to hearing from you. 
Amilia Powers
                                                        




                                          coffeewithamilia@gmail.com




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