Sunday, June 23, 2019

2 Stages for Surviving after Narcissist Abuse


When your life is in Survival Mode after Pain that leaves you broken




First I would like to say that I'm happy your here. Breaking up is never easy, especially under these conditions. Confusion and self-doubt begin to set in our hearts. Dealing with a narcissist during a break-up takes all the energy out of you.

1. The first stage of healing a broken heart after narcissistic abuse is disconnecting and staying your distance from the abuser and everything that surrounds them, that means everyone who is a part of him. Yes, this must be done. Space from the pain that was caused helps you get a clear understanding of the cruelty you dealt with.

This is a delicate stage. During trauma, our thoughts are all over the place. We want them back, we hate them. We want justice for our sanity. We lose sleep, we forget to eat. Stop me if I'm wrong.

Please, ladies, collect your thoughts. Stop the shame, the blame game. You are giving him all the power he is asking for. You're giving him full control over your entire world. You are not allowing yourself to feel what is real. That he doesn't deserve you. He is not worthy to hear your voice. Most importantly you don't deserve to be abused by him. This is the reality. You have given this demon to much credit. Why don't we start with you?

You are a survivor and you will heal. You will not go back and any thought of this is erased from your inner soul. You love who you are and will treat yourself with the utmost respect and never allow anyone to mistreat you from this day forward. Repeat Again.

Begin every verse by saying, "I'm a powerful woman and I will get through this. I'm a survivor and better than I've ever been before. I have overcome.

2. The second most important part of surviving after abuse is believing that life is better without him. That life with him was cruel. Your life with him had no joy or happiness and ended up with painful punishment that you didn't deserve. You must believe that being tormented and abused day after day isn't the way you want to live your life.

Believing in yourself worth is a big game changer. This means, standing up for yourself. Being strong enough to say the magic two letter word NO, I'm not having it. Scaring him half to death with your power that he can not approach you in any way but respectfully or he needs to step aside. You will not put up with any unkindness bottom line.

Remember, you dictate how the relationship goes. You have more strength than he does. We forget all about that when he is giving us a line of bullishit. That's all that it is and believe it or not we know it, and dismiss it and what comes with it is a world of grief.

Listen carefully with what you believe. Believe in yourself first. Believe that you deserve to live the life of love, joy, and happiness. Believe that you do and it will come to pass. Most Importantly believe he doesn't fall in your belief system. Amen to that.

I'm a woman whose life was darkened. My entire life was shattered in a million pieces. A woman's advice you can trust. I never gave up hope. I woke up every day in praise, thanking God in my good times and my bad. I never gave up on me, and I will never give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any concerns you may have.

Click the link below. Learn more about me.
www.coffeewithamilia.com

Be Blessed
I look forward to speaking with you.
Have a blessed day
amiliapowers@gmail.com

Amilia Powers







Monday, June 17, 2019

How important the word "NO" is--Narcissist Attact


When it comes to an unhealthy relationship "NO" is the most important word.





I would like to say that I'm happy your here. You are taking the necessary steps to change your situation. Being in a place of hurt and pain is not the way you should live.

Saving yourself a life full of pain and misery, No is the most important word in your relationship. When you live with a narcissist your life depends on it. 

I understand that it is hard to believe that someone you love could or would abuse your generosity and take advantage of you. You can't fathom that being kind, and nice could attract someone this cruel in your life. 

We end up walking through life with this emotional pretense that this couldn't be happening to us. We continue sending ourselves warm thoughts that he didn't mean any harm or we miss understood his intentions just so we don't fall apart. 

I used to give him a pass on a regular bases. My thoughts were, If he's kind to me at times, then I can work with this and maybe make him see that we have something amazing and special. I developed a very hard time saying no and stopping the abuse. My courage facing him went to the waste side and I became very vulnerable. In reality, he wasn't able to share the love with me or anyone. I refused to give up and was determined to show him how wonderful life would be. It simply never occurred to me that I was heading down a path of destruction and pain.

Please Use the word "NO" every chance you get. This is a game changer for your life going forward. It validates who you are and what you will put up with. Without you putting your foot down, your life will be nothing but chaos. No, is the most powerful word used in any relationship. It sets the stage for your self-worth. Using this word takes you out of fear, and unleashes your power. The narcissist will not challenge you. You are not budging and he will eventually leave. He will get it through his thick skin he has no control over you, and as we all know they need to have control. That's what gives them power and gratification. They must have the spotlight. Don't worry your head, you left no room for arguments. You cleaned up this mess fairly quickly. 

I'm a woman who found herself in this position and used this through her darkest times. Waking up praising God, and asking for strength. Never gave up hope and never giving up on me. I will not let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is incredible. Don't waste another minute. There is nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice. 

Reach out to me, and will guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. I have turned my prayers into meditations, that are helping women across the country rise beyond their pain. 


Click the Link below. 





Have a blessed day
www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com
Reach out anytime. amiliapowers@gmail.com
Amilia Powers



























Thursday, June 6, 2019

3 Things a narcissist won't do for you.--Narcissist Abuse


A narcissist has an agenda, there is a twist in everything they do.




Narcissist are very tricky people, they are not easy to spot. They come off as very important, and good family men. They strive on envy, you know the saying "Look At Me, what's not to like." You wouldn't know anything different than what you see or what you're told. The average person will never go digging into people's lives, they are busy with their own families and work. We believe what is said and go about our day. Our last thought of the conversation would be, he's a great guy. That's The extent of it.

The bottom line is, they live in their own world of fantasies. They play make-believe on a daily bases and forget what is true. This is where the narcissist out states their welcome. They trip up in their own lies and don't know what to do to get out of it. It's like peeling back an onion slice by slice, and all that is left are tears by the time you get to the center. Once the games are finished, the narcissist will never leave quietly. He will make a destructive exit. He must make up for you identifying him as a coward and a fraud. You are left shocked with disbelief that he tossed your life upside down to make himself look good, and blame everything that shattered on you.

Falling for the manipulation of a narcissist happens. I wanted to leave you with a way for you to identify what kind of man you're dealing with early enough so that this torment and pain doesn't enter your life.

1. The narcissist will never make you feel comfortable in a relationship. They will keep you on your toes. There isn't anything you will do well enough. They must have the upper hand. A narcissist gets the utmost pleasure in making you feel insecure. Having you in need gives them power and takes away yours which hands them full control.

Having stability in a relationship is the number one thing that keeps your love alive. You never have to look over your shoulder. You won't doubt yourself or feel devalued. Feeling secure with the one you love is precious. 

2. The narcissist will never be grateful or thankful for what you do. To everyone, a narcissist will seem like the perfect guy. They love putting on a show in public. They have conditioned you to feel whatever happens in the house stays in the house. Unfortunately, you follow his rules. This will always make him look incredible to the outside. Never being a bad person, will ultimately backfire and make you the blame for all of the destruction once he leaves.

There will be days when your mind is wondering why he never praises your hard work and effort? Remember if he did this he will take the spotlight away from himself and he will not let that happen. A narcissist must have the credit even if it belongs to you. You feeling bad about this situation is exactly what his drive is. Stop your Silence.

3. A narcissist will never have sympathy. They will not care if you had a bad day at work or your father is sick. There will be days when you are having a conversation about something troubling, and he will shut it down quickly as if you are making a big deal about nothing and it's not important. He doesn't care about your feelings. If it doesn't concern him, he doesn't want to be bothered. You are wasting his time.

This is not the love you dreamt of having in your life. You deserve happiness and joy, someone who will listen and would like to hear every word. Who will sympathize with you and have your back, good or bad? Life is full of challenges.

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A woman who found her way through the darkest times. Waking up praising God, and never giving up hope and never giving up on me. I will never let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. 

I have turned my prayers into meditations, that are helping women across the country rise beyond their pain. 
Click the link below.




Have a blessed day
www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com
Reach out anytime. amiliapowers@gmail.com
Amilia Powers

Monday, June 3, 2019

Him against me everyday--Narcissist Abuse



Days of pain blend into one another





First I want to say I'm happy your here, and you are taking the necessary steps to change your circumstances. Being in a place of pain and torment is not the way love is supposed to feel.

It was him against me day after day. I could never understand his anger, his hateful heart. His words were like venom piercing through my body. I became numb to life. I refused to recognize that someone could be that hateful and poisonous. 

The consistent contradictions were the most confusing. Did you ever hear the saying, "words can be deceiving" Trust me they are. We try so hard to see the good from the hate, and this causes more hurt than we have ever anticipated. 

I have to say the obvious thing I overlooked, was his actions consistently reinforced exactly who he was and what he was all about. I actually found myself defending him to everyone for his unacceptable behavior. It's crazy but not unusual to defend someone you are with and love. The twist to this is that I communicated through my actions that it was alright to treat me badly. 

It's wonderful to have compassion with the one you love, but we must acknowledge what's not okay. We must stop feeling It's our responsibility for them. They are responsible for their actions and life. No one has a right to play on your emotions and take every ounce of joy and happiness from you. Our smile is our world, our laughter represents the joy the good Lord gave us. No one is entitled to that, only to share it with us.

What is sad was he would always play on my excitement and squash it every chance he had. I was living in darkness in my heart, my smile and laugh erased. I became dead to life. I was living as if I was two different people. My work life and my home life. I conditioned myself to shut off power to all happiness before I got home. I couldn't allow pretending to be happy tumble over in my reality. 

Considering all the baggage I had to carry around, I feel thankful and grateful that I was able to remove myself from an abusive relationship. I prayed for strength and prayed for guidance. I'm the woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A woman who found her way through the darkest of times. I woke up every morning and every night praising God, and never gave up hope. I praised him in good times, and in bad times. He saw me through. I never gave up on me. I will never let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you through your present situations. For more information, click the link below. My prayers I turned into meditations, that helped women rise beyond their pain.






Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time to reach you.
www.coffeewithamilia.com

Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com







Wednesday, May 29, 2019

2 Reasons we must admit abuse--Narcissist


When your mind won't let you admit what happened.





First I would like to say that I'm happy your here. Breaking up is never easy, especially under these conditions. Confusion and self-doubt begin to fester in our hearts. There will never be a clear reason when dealing with a narcissist during a break-up.

Complicated grief sets in. We believed he was the one. We start to second guess and question everything we said or did. Replaying certain scenarios in our head trying to find a solution. We are on a mission to blame ourselves. We want to dissect every moment we had together to find fault with what we did. With pressure from our heart telling us he's perfect, and we will never find anyone else. We become lost in the moment and not what actually happened to us.

It's okay to replay the relationship in our minds, but we must remember what the relationship was really like. The pain and torment. How you were treated and disrespected. Don't pause your thoughts at the first time you met, when everything seemed like a fairytale, he presented himself as prince charming.


1. In order to overcome the pain and hurt we have endured, the first thing that needs to happen is to Admit that he is a fraud. He is not the man he portrayed himself to be. He is a master manipulator, a man full of lies and deception. He appears strong, but the truth is, he is a coward and very needy. He lives in a dark and lonely world of his own and doesn't want to live in darkness alone. The agenda for the narcissist is for you to feel what he is truly about. Unfortunately, that means the abuse of all levels.



2. We must admit that living an abusive life, is not the way we want to be loved. We have to re-evaluate what love really means to us. Looking deep in our heart will help us find the answers. Asking ourselves very important questions about our situation helps us walk through the many challenges we will face coming out of a place of pain. The most important question I ever asked myself was, "Is this the kind of love I always dreamed of?" I bet you know the answer to that.


Come out of his darkness....





Being pained and hurt every day by a man is not the loving relationship we were hoping for. We are an incredible woman and deserve to be in a loving partnership with a person who adores us and does everything in his power to protects us.

Yes, we must not forget what took place in our darkest hour so we will never let this pain ever happen to us again. I know the torment was a lot for me, how about you?

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A woman who found her way through the darkest of times. I woke up every morning praising God, and never giving up hope. I praised him in good times, and when I was cursed at. He saw me through. I never gave up on me. I will never let you give up on you.


Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, remember that. 

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.
I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you through your present situations. For more information, click the link below. My prayers I turned into meditationsthat helped women rise beyond their pain.


Be Blessed
I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time to reach you.
www.coffeewithamilia.com
Amilia Powers









Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Hiding Behind a Poker Face--Narcissist Abuse


HIDING YOUR THOUGHTS



Expressing our feelings after a very difficult and painful situation is a job in its self. We begin to pull away from people, friends family ect....

During this time of the abuse, we stayed quiet. Our laugh was so far out of our reach, it wasn't a thought, and talking about our situation isn't an option. Our silence took that part of us. We begin each day alone. Stuck with so many unanswered questions. Why did he have to abuse me? Why didn't he just leave? Why is he so angry? What did I do in my life to deserve this? What did I do to him? At this point, you don't care about love. Only how you were treated. No one has permission to do this to anyone.

Hiding our heartache we feel was the only way to deal with the unpleasant trauma. You ask why? I will tell you. No one understands unless they have been through this themselves. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever reached for a smile you couldn't find? The laughter you couldn't hear? A voice that couldn't speak?

Getting up was difficult, hesitating in the morning, but we do because we have to. We are not looking forward to questions from people, neither at our jobs or our personal life. As we go through our day, we begin to play a game with our feelings and walk around with a "Poker Face." Maintaining a neutral face, and protecting our feelings was a hard task.

For those of you who don't know. A "Poker Face" is one expression that hides your true feelings. A blank face, no joy, happiness or any facial remarks.

Time to grieve is a must under any circumstances letting the dust settle was highly effective for me. Not because of the loss of a man, but what I have endured. We need time to drain the poison that has been given to us. (The physical and emotional abuse that we dealt with. Nasty bitter anger, that came out of a miserable man.) That once held our happiness in the grips of his hands.

I came home from work one day it was late. Took a shower and settled in my room. No Television, no computer, no phone. I sat on my bed and began to pray. I got up the courage to ask the Lord what are my next steps. I told him I was very hurt the way I was treated. I cried, I told him everything that my heart was holding onto and asked him to take the pain from me. I did this every night I came home. I wanted to smile and laugh again. I missed it so much. I asked the Lord to help me put my life back together.

I took out my notebook and started writing down my prayers and what I asked of the Lord. I became stronger and healthier over time. I began to turn my world around. I was able to smile and laugh and find joy in things that I never knew existed. I spoke hope to my heart, and love to my life. I stood in faith and began to live the life I was meant to live. Praying helped me focus on my issue and find a solution. I have people gravitating to me from all over, wanting to know how I changed my life, and how they can start and change theirs.

Today I'm helping thousands of women change their lives with my personalized meditations. 

The biggest myth is people believing that they cannot shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the Meditation is personalized, you tune right into your life and solution. There isn't any sound that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.

Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems.  We are excited to share this with you. Click the link below the photo for more information.



If you are going through any difficulties. Please click this link, Let me guide you and help you take that next step in your life. You can email me with any questions, or concerns who may have.
https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations/products/personalized-meditations

amiliapowers@gmail.com


I look forward to working with you. 
Be blessed



Monday, May 13, 2019

How Do You Heal from?--Narcissist Abuse



When your mind knows more than your heart is telling you.





I would like to first congratulate you for getting a toxic person out of your life. Abuse is not the way to live. It is the most difficult process you have to ever deal with. You literally had to manipulate yourself out of a situation that you knew was dangerous knowing you will be torn up emotionally from the aftermath, saving yourself is the only thing on your mind.

What you tell yourself is, healing through the pain and hurt is a far cry from staying with a man who has tormented and emotionally abused you day in and day out. You found this amazing strength through and power having your life back. It hasn't been easy, but it's a relief, and the burden has lifted. You are doing everything you can to stay strong and together because you understand better days are coming and it is all in a matter of time that his true colors will be shown to the world. There is not much you have to do or say to anyone, his actions will speak for themselves. 

You wake up in the morning putting your best foot forward working through the cobwebs in your mind of what just happened and dusting yourself off. Giving yourself encouragement that "You Got This." You continue on your day,  at times cried your eyes out and there are days you feel so powerful that you feel unstoppable. Your gaining power through the motions. You know you will be alright, and you keep the faith and never give up. 

As your days come to a close, and your home after a long day at work. You have dinner, and you sit silently and pray every night, and thank God for giving you the strength to get out of the abusive relationship and a chance to live a life you are created to live. A life that brings you laugher, and joy. Reconnecting with your family and friends. You feel the smile that you longed for. 

Even with your everyday struggle between your heart and mind, you knew there was no chance of changing your situation unless you took the steps to do it yourself. Understanding that it would have gotten worse, and your position harder to overcome, there was no better time than now to remove yourself from his poison. The back and forth, love and hate, abuse and pretend took a lot of you. It was enough. 

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A woman who found her way through the darkest of times. I woke up every morning praising God, and never giving up hope. I praised him in good times, and when I was cursed at. He saw me through. I never gave up on me. I will never let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.

I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you through your present situations. For more information, click the link below. My prayers I turned into meditations, that helped women rise beyond their pain.

https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations


Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time to reach you.
www.coffeewithamilia.com

Amelia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com