Thursday, August 13, 2020

Who Are You Convincing?



          
ARE YOU CONVINCING ME OR YOURSELF?






Did you ever have a conversation with a friend, and they tell you how wonderful and joyous their relationship is?

You know the story isn't true. You're the one who has picked up the phone in the middle of the night when she was upset, and you were there when she cried so much she couldn't catch her breath.

I was that person who reached out to friends and family day in and day out. The thoughts in my head were, this will pass. It will be alright. Tomorrow is another day. I knew I was well supported in every way good or bad. No matter what the circumstances. In my heart, I hoped one day he would change and things would be different. 

I would sit in silence and tell myself over and over that he will treat me better it's just a phase, and I'm focusing too much on the negative.

What I was actually doing was trying to convince myself that I was with the right person. 

When we Invest so much time in a person, our energy our love our kindness. Even when the relationship goes sour, we find ourselves never giving up, we become determined to find good in our situation and stay even though it hurts. 

It doesn't make sense to most people. As females, when we share our heart with a man we take it seriously, and we do what we can to hold our relationship, and families together. 

The most important thing we must do is stop working with our heart and our emotions when it comes to our happiness and joy. 

Your asking what do I mean? If we direct our thoughts on what is happening in our lives and leave emotion out of it. We will recognize that the relationship we are in is unhealthy and doesn't make us or our family stronger together. It will eventually tear us apart. How long can we play the convincing role with ourselves and the people around us? It get's exhausting.

Don't let comfort convince you that he is the one. I'm sure you have told yourself, he is everything you have been looking for in a man. Not if you have to go through this. Did you read what I wrote? Trying to convince someone to love you, and treat you amazing, will put you in a painful place. 
There is no happy ending here. This is not a fairy tale. 

Doing more for them to compensate for happiness will leave you broken, and won't change your situation. It doesn't matter what you do or try to do better. This isn't what love feels like. 

This is your happiness and love your compromising. 

Never forget who you are in any circumstance, most of all never let anyone control the love you have in your heart, and never give up wanting to live the life you are created to live.

Begin today and make this change. Laugh, and smile embrace life's goodness, because you deserve it. If you're stuck, join thousands of women like yourself who have changed their life with my Personalized Meditations created for your specific circumstance. 

This changed my entire life. It can change yours. 

Begin today by clicking the link on the bottom of the picture.




These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. Help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

Be blessed,
I look forward to speaking with you.
Amilia Powers



#oprahsbookclub #coffeewithamilia









Saturday, August 8, 2020

What Have I Done?--Narcissist Abuse

 


WHAT HAVE I DONE?





To the outside world, I was "typical." A young woman, divorced, a mother of two small children-nothing really out of the ordinary. Getting married so young had led to getting divorced young. My husband and I both wanted to live different lives. It was an inevitable ending to something that had happened far too early in our lives. 

As I moved on with my life, I  struggled financially, but I was determined to make it. I knew what I wanted. I stayed focused, saved and purchased a home, only to realize that it took a lot of money to maintain that home. I had to get a second job to better support myself and provide for the kids. There were no other options and I wanted everything to work out. Yet, nothing was great. Working wasn't my problem. I wasn't afraid of hard work, I was more successful at attracting the wrong kind of men then I realized.

As time moved on and I met a man. He was wonderful and treated me the way every girl dreams of being treated. I mistook that for amazing love and unfortunately, it turned into pain and torment. My fear of letting go consumed me because I loved him and wanted it to work, all I felt and tried to hold onto was the day we met. I also had to settle for a second job that I didn't like, long dreadful hours that was physically exhausting but felt I needed. I wasn't happy. I was trying to keep up appearances. There was no balance or harmony in my life anywhere. Furthermore, knowing that I was responsible was agonizing. My life deteriorated and unraveled. I didn't like the person I turned into, becoming more distant from my life and never finding peace. I was just existing. 

I began journaling my everyday encounter with him. How it was impacting my life. Writing everything down in a journal was my release. I emptied my thoughts of emotional pain, and verbal abuse, helped me get through one more day. I needed to unload, and felt this was the only way to stay strong. 

It was that one day, I knew I had to admit to myself if I was going to become more invested in my life then just one more day I would need to take control of what is happening in my life. The stress was overwhelming, no rest. The kids were unhappy. I couldn't believe what I was writing in my journal. Who lives like this. Under these conditions of so much hostility, anger, and violence. 

I made this a habit in my life. Like waking up every day and brushing my teeth. You know when your life is spiraling out of control when you know what is going to happen the next day. There wasn't any joy to look forward to. This was the lowest point of my life. When the voices inside your head are screaming at you to make a change now. Not next week, next month. Today.

That one question that changed my life. "Is this the LIFE you dreamed of? 

From that day forward, my life did a 360 without hesitation. I believe I stuck it out as long as I could. There wasn't any change in sight. I hoped and prayed that whatever was going on with him would change, but it was getting worse. The memory I held onto of the day we first met faded away. 

When the relationship came to close, it was a violent ending to something that should have happened months ago. I wasn't frightened. I prayed and stayed in faith throughout the relationship and I believed that whatever was going to happen would be the best for me and my family.

Don't wait. Love is not unkind. Happiness and joy are apart of sharing. Always be honest with yourself. If you are not excited about your life and are treated in a way that drains your spirit, please make that change. Love is such a precious gift from God. No one has the right to take it. Let love, and faith guide your life, you can't make any mistakes with that. 

A part of this is written from my upcoming book "PAIN BEHIND BROKEN VASES" the book goes into more detail. This is a summary. It will definitely keep you at the edge of your seat. You will be in suspense throughout the novel. Check it out, by clicking the links below.



During this time of struggle, I was able to create "Personalize Meditations" that are helping thousands of woman across the country overcome obstacles they thought were impossible.

Start Now. Live the life you are created to live.



Join Me Today

If you are stuck join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my "Personalize Meditations"

Click the link below the picture and act NOW, and
Follow the Four Simple Steps


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Be blessed, I look forward to hearing from you. 
Amilia Powers
                                                        




                                          coffeewithamilia@gmail.com




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Monday, July 20, 2020

Saying "NO" to a Narcissist



When it comes to an unhealthy relationship "NO" is the most important word.





I would like to say that I'm happy your here. You are taking the necessary steps to change your situation. Being in a place of hurt and pain is not the way you should live.

Saving yourself a life full of pain and misery, No is the most important word in your relationship. When you live with a narcissist your life depends on it. 

I understand that it is hard to believe that someone you love could or would abuse your generosity and take advantage of you. You can't fathom that being kind, and nice could attract someone this cruel in your life. 

We end up walking through life with this emotional pretense that this couldn't be happening to us. We continue sending ourselves warm thoughts that he didn't mean any harm or we miss understood his intentions just so we don't fall apart. 

I used to give him a pass on a regular bases. My thoughts were, If he's kind to me at times, then I can work with this and maybe make him see that we have something amazing and special. I developed a very hard time saying no and stopping the abuse. My courage facing him went to the waste side and I became very vulnerable. In reality, he wasn't able to share the love with me or anyone. I refused to give up and was determined to show him how wonderful life would be. It simply never occurred to me that I was heading down a path of destruction and pain.

Please Use the word "NO" every chance you get. This is a game changer for your life going forward. It validates who you are and what you will put up with. Without you putting your foot down, your life will be nothing but chaos. No, is the most powerful word used in any relationship. It sets the stage for your self-worth. Using this word takes you out of fear, and unleashes your power. The narcissist will not challenge you. You are not budging and he will eventually leave. He will get it through his thick skin he has no control over you, and as we all know they need to have control. That's what gives them power and gratification. They must have the spotlight. Don't worry your head, you left no room for arguments. You cleaned up this mess fairly quickly. 

I'm a woman who found herself in this position and used this through her darkest times. Waking up praising God, and asking for strength. Never gave up hope and never giving up on me. I will not let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is incredible. Don't waste another minute. There is nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice. 

Reach out to me, and will guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. I have turned my prayers into meditations, that are helping women across the country rise beyond their pain. 


Click the Link below. 





Have a blessed day
www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com
Reach out anytime. amiliapowers@gmail.com
Amilia Powers

Saturday, July 11, 2020

Narcissists are Bullies--Destructive Behavior


Don't Make Excuses For Their Actions



Narcissists are classic bullies. They will ambush you, and take you down without a moments notice. They will always blame you for their actions, and never take responsibility for what they are doing. They will deny that they are doing anything wrong and tell you it's all your fault. 

Narcissists are manipulators and have a way to turn the table upside down and unfortunately, it lands in your lap. Your thoughts become deep, and you begin to feel bad for them. They drain you emotionally and physically, you just give in because you are so exhausted.

Narcissists are cowards. They hide from what they are doing, by putting on a show to the outside world, an appearance of a stand-up man, a kind loving family man. Validation from people that they hold a higher power of love and happiness and kindness is a must.

Remember, you are short term for a narcissist. He knows he is going to leave on bad terms, they will cause destruction and you won't even know what happened, it's important he doesn't lose the sympathetic voice from the fake persona he portrayed in public. His mission is to make you look bad in all aspects of your life. He needs this power over you so people will come to his defenses. 

We made the mistake by not telling anyone how we feel or what is really happening in our lives. I know I have done this. I praised him in public, while I was abused emotionally and drained physically. Yes, to strangers, it looked like it was all my fault. What the hell was I thinking? I helped him set up ammunition against me.  His plan was in motion. I have to say I didn't see it coming. All I wanted was peace, that was my focus. I needed to get through the day, and not carry the pain with me.  

I spent many sleepless nights at the kitchen table. I needed to close my eyes just for a minute.  The thought of being in the same room with him put knots in my stomach, let alone sleeping in the same bed. Knowing what my day entailed I needed to take care of me. Yes, ladies, it was brutal. At this point, I couldn't wait until he left. I didn't even care what people thought of me. They weren't in my life, so it didn't matter anyway. I just wanted him gone. 

I wanted my life back the way it was. Having fun, smiling and enjoying the people I loved. I was finally being honest with myself and realized this isn't the way I wanted to live my life. This isn't what I imagined love was like. 

The day came when I felt strong. I didn't give him the opportunity to stay. I didn't feed off of his nasty energy. I spoke my mind. I stood up for myself. I was scared, but I had NO choice but to take control of my life or remain in shattered thoughts for the rest of my life. Looking over my shoulder, not knowing what was going to happen next. Definitely not the way to live.

He finally left with a trail of destruction behind him. He threw poison in the air from his words and continued shooting darts even after he left. I was so happy the demon left the building. I was thankful and grateful, excited to pick up my pieces. I knew I deserved a life of happiness. It felt amazing. The freedom, I embraced the world and everything in it. 

Ladies, please if you are reading this and it has any type of resemblance to your story. Please reach out. The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you. When was the last time you laughed so hard and your stomach hurt of joy??

Love is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy smiling and has her voice. 

Visit me. Learn more about me. 
I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.




Contact me at amiliapowers@gmail.com or visit my website www.coffeewithamilia.com

Leave me a message and the best time to reach you. www.valueurself.com

I look forward to speaking with you.
Have a blessed day

Amilia Powers


#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship #narcissist #narcissism 
#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse 


Wednesday, June 24, 2020

When the Pain is Deep--Narcissist Abuse

No one knows how it feels, to go through this pain






I have women emailing me all the time about people in their lives trying to tell them how they should feel and what they should do about their situation and have no clue what it's like to be hurt by someone they love. Yes, I get this very well. It is very difficult to take advice from someone who doesn't understand the depth of your pain because they have never had to deal with it, but they seem to be experts in the field.

The unfortunate part of this we begin to get frustrated and misunderstood. Now you start to believe that its something you've done. Not only do you have your own situation to focus on, and you're trying your hardest to figure out the next steps you need to take, you have other people in the mix, which has caused more confusion, and are making matters worse for you. You feel you should have just kept things to yourself.

Eventually, what happens here, we let go of the need to explain our selves and our situation with others. We pull back and stay alone in thought, and try to figure things out on our own and wish we had some support. But the last thing we need is to get into a disagreement or argument over what is happening in our life. Because someone feels they know more about it then you do.

I found myself always on the defensive. Too many questions about why.

1. Why did you let your situation go so far?

2. Why didn't you call for help?

3. Why did you allow him to hurt you?

4. Why didn't you stand up for yourself?

These questions obviously came from people who have absolutely no right to ask them. Why you might ask because they weren't living my life or your life. They don't understand the circumstances. Did you ever hear that saying? "You will never understand until it happens to you" This saying holds merit.

We really didn't need people telling us everything is fine now, or this will pass or you'll get over it. Ect...

What we were looking for or still are seeking is understanding, compassion, and support. While we figure things out and collect our lives and begin to put the pieces back together that are scattered like confetti everywhere we turn.

By telling someone, you should have done this or that would make them feel like a failure, they would begin to second guess themselves. No, advise here not needed. This person needs encouragement and someone to listen.

Don't judge, no one deserves to be judged going through a difficult time. If they cry they need to get it out. That's not a sign of weakness, this is something that needs to take place, all apart of the healing process. If they don't look as if they are put together, keep your comments to yourself. They will get better without your foolish remarks.

You obviously do not know what someone is going through, so have some compassion, and reassure them that they are not alone. Getting out of bed is the most difficult task in many cases. They are most likely facing many challenges ahead.

Everyone has there own stuff, is that fair to say? We are still responsible for how we treat others. Many situations take longer for most people to even understand. Healing is endless. Things will come up in their daily lives, such as memories, thoughts of pain and hurt that will bring sorrow. Like a replay button that doesn't stop. It turns the emotional gauge higher and lower depending on the day. As time goes on it becomes lighter and easier to deal with. Until then. Love

Love them and show support all the time. Share joy and kindness. This is the most effective way that a person who is broken will feel the most supported. Did you ever hear the saying?
"love conquers all"

Remember a very important golden role: "We Rise By Helping Others"


We are stronger together. Strength runs in numbers.

Click the link below, and live the life you are created to live. 





If you are stuck, join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my "Personalize Meditations"

I have created a special addition to my meditation practices. It is back from popular demand. It is "Personalized Meditations" Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems. 

We are excited to share this with you, start today.


https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations

The biggest myth is people believing to not shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the meditation is personalized you tune right into your life and solution.

There isn't any sound or noise that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.

Be blessed,
I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message and the best time to reach you.
I will guide you through the process
Amilia
amiliapowers@gmail.com


#inspired #healing #healingthebrokenhearted #inspirations #motivational #howdoiforgive #InspirationalWomen #quotestoliveby #growyourbusiness #careerwoman #valueurself #femaleentrepreneur #entrepreneur #femaleentrepreneurs #myownboss #womensupportingwomen #bosschick #womenstyle #womenstuff #womeninspiringwomen



Thursday, June 18, 2020

2 Steps to Move Forward from a Breakup--Narcissist Abuse


HOW DO I MOVE FORWARD FROM A BREAKUP??






We have so much to do. 
I get several emails per-day, asking me how do I get rid of the thoughts of my ex-boyfriend, ex-husband...etc..?
This is a very important question. Getting rid of thoughts of your ex, vs making those thoughts less powerful in your mind are two different things. In order to lessen the focus, I have a two suggestions.

#1. Let's begin to unclutter those thoughts.

Walk around your home, and look to see what you have. Do you have pictures of him, that keep you up all night? Do you have items that he gave to you, that turn your stomach into knots?
The biggest thing, that woman do not like to part with is clothing and jewelry. It is time to begin to unclutter your feelings. Keeping things around that remind you of hurt and pain is not going to do you any justice. Do you really need that shirt, pants or purse? These Items can be replaced. You were able to buy these things before he entered into your life, and you can get them now. It doesn't make you feel any better every time you reach into your bag and have that reminder of the hurt you endured. I recommend you do this gently, and when you are ready, if you can give away, one item a day, you will lighten up your heart.

#2. Stop talking about your EX with friends and family.

Don't bring him up in conversation, and don't invite chatter from anyone. This will help you become stronger with your present life. You will be able to enjoy new things, make fresh memories, and bring back your smile, and the laugh that you didn't have for some time. It's time to stop living in the past.

If you have people in your life that will not stop gossiping and keep bringing him up, then you need to distance yourself from their life. I know this is hard to do, but you have to do it in order to have peace. People must learn to respect your wishes. It's unfortunate that we have to teach them to do so.  If they love you they would do this for you, knowing what your going through. The less Chit Chat you hear about him the better you will feel. Start speaking about things you look forward to and want to experience. Fill your heart with excitement and joy. This is your time. Begin living for your future and stop living in the past.

Contact me at www.coffeewithamilia.com
You don't have to do this alone.
Have a blessed day. I have many blogs right here that will help you.
Please go through them.
Amilia Powers

Click the link below. I have an ebook you should pick up for this particular situation, it will guide you, and prepare you for the things you must do to begin living the life you are created to live.


Begin today and apologize to yourself for everything that has happened to you. Keep your faith close and God first. I wish you an incredible start to a new journey.

I look forward to hearing from you.
Amilia