Thursday, February 25, 2021

3 Things a narcissist won't do for you.--Narcissist Abuse


A narcissist has an agenda, there is a twist in everything they do.


Narcissists are very tricky people, they are not easy to spot. They come off as very important, and good family men. They strive on envy, you know the saying "Look At Me, what's not to like." You wouldn't know anything different than what you see or what you're told. The average person will never go digging into people's lives, they are busy with their own families and work. We believe what is said and go about our day. Our last thought of the conversation would be, he's a great guy. That's The extent of it.

The bottom line is, they live in their own world of fantasies. They play make-believe daily and forget what is true. This is where the narcissist out states their welcome. They trip up in their own lies and don't know what to do to get out of it. It's like peeling back an onion slice by slice, and all that is left are tears by the time you get to the center. Once the games are finished, the narcissist will never leave quietly. He will make a destructive exit. He must make up for you identifying him as a coward and a fraud. You are left shocked with disbelief that he tossed your life upside down to make himself look good, and blame everything that shattered on you.

Falling for the manipulation of a narcissist happens. I wanted to leave you with a way for you to identify what kind of man you're dealing with early enough so that this torment and pain doesn't enter your life.

1. The narcissist will never make you feel comfortable in a relationship. They will keep you on your toes. There isn't anything you will do well enough. They must have the upper hand. A narcissist gets the utmost pleasure in making you feel insecure. Having you in need gives them power and takes away yours which hands them full control.

Having stability in a relationship is the number one thing that keeps your love alive. You never have to look over your shoulder. You won't doubt yourself or feel devalued. Feeling secure with the one you love is precious. 

2. The narcissist will never be grateful or thankful for what you do. To everyone, a narcissist will seem like the perfect guy. They love putting on a show in public. They have conditioned you to feel whatever happens in the house stays in the house. Unfortunately, you follow his rules. This will always make him look incredible to the outside. Never being a bad person, will ultimately backfire and make you the blame for all of the destruction once he leaves.

There will be days when your mind is wondering why he never praises your hard work and effort? Remember if he did this he will take the spotlight away from himself and he will not let that happen. A narcissist must have the credit even if it belongs to you. Feeling bad about this situation is exactly what drives him. Stop your Silence.


3. A narcissist will never have sympathy. They will not care if you had a bad day at work or your father is sick. There will be days when you are having a conversation about something troubling, and he will shut it down quickly as if you are making a big deal about nothing and it's not important. He doesn't care about your feelings. If it doesn't concern him, he doesn't want to be bothered. You are wasting his time.

This is not the love you dreamt of having in your life. You deserve happiness and joy, someone who will listen and would like to hear every word. Who will sympathize with you and have your back, good or bad? Life is full of challenges.

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A woman who found her way through the darkest times. Waking up praising God, and never giving up hope, and never giving up on me. I will never let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. 

I have turned my prayers into meditations, that are helping women across the country rise beyond their pain. 
Click the link below.




Have a blessed day
www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com
Reach out anytime. amiliapowers@gmail.com
Amilia Powers

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Narcissists are Bullies--Destructive Behavior


Don't Make Excuses For Their Actions



Narcissists are classic bullies. They will ambush you, and take you down without a moment's notice. They will always blame you for their actions, and never take responsibility for what they are doing. They will deny that they are doing anything wrong and tell you it's all your fault. 

Narcissists are manipulators and have a way to turn the table upside down and unfortunately, it lands in your lap. Your thoughts become deep, and you begin to feel bad for them. They drain you emotionally and physically, you just give in because you are so exhausted.

Narcissists are cowards. They hide from what they are doing, by putting on a show to the outside world, an appearance of a stand-up man, a kind loving family man. Validation from people that they hold a higher power of love and happiness and kindness is a must.

Remember, you are short term for a narcissist. He knows he is going to leave on bad terms, they will cause destruction and you won't even know what happened, he mustn't lose the sympathetic voice from the fake persona he portrayed in public. His mission is to make you look bad in all aspects of your life. He needs this power over you so people will come to his defenses. 

We made the mistake of not telling anyone how we feel or what is really happening in our lives. I know I have done this. I praised him in public, while I was abused emotionally and drained physically. Yes, to strangers, it looked like it was all my fault. What the hell was I thinking? I helped him set up ammunition against me.  His plan was in motion. I have to say I didn't see it coming. All I wanted was peace, that was my focus. I needed to get through the day, and not carry the pain with me.  

I spent many sleepless nights at the kitchen table. I needed to close my eyes just for a minute.  The thought of being in the same room with him put knots in my stomach, let alone sleeping in the same bed. Knowing what my day entailed I needed to take care of me. Yes, ladies, it was brutal. At this point, I couldn't wait until he left. I didn't even care what people thought of me. They weren't in my life, so it didn't matter anyway. I just wanted him gone. 

I wanted my life back the way it was. Having fun, smiling, and enjoying the people I loved. I was finally being honest with myself and realized this isn't the way I wanted to live my life. This isn't what I imagined love was like. 

The day came when I felt strong. I didn't allow him to stay. I didn't feed off of his nasty energy. I spoke my mind. I stood up for myself. I was scared, but I had NO choice but to take control of my life or remain in shattered thoughts for the rest of my life. Looking over my shoulder, not knowing what was going to happen next. Definitely not the way to live.

He finally left with a trail of destruction behind him. He threw poison in the air from his words and continued shooting darts even after he left. I was so happy the demon left the building. I was thankful and grateful, excited to pick up my pieces. I knew I deserved a life of happiness. It felt amazing. The freedom, I embraced the world and everything in it. 

Ladies, please if you are reading this and it has any type of resemblance to your story. Please reach out. The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you. When was the last time you laughed so hard and your stomach hurt with joy??

Love is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy smiling and has her voice. 

Visit me. Learn more about me. 
I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.




Contact me at amiliapowers@gmail.com or visit my website www.coffeewithamilia.com

Leave me a message and the best time to reach you. www.valueurself.com

I look forward to speaking with you.
Have a blessed day

Amilia Powers


#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship #narcissist #narcissism 
#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse 


Thursday, December 10, 2020

Who Are You Convincing?



          
ARE YOU CONVINCING ME OR YOURSELF?






Did you ever have a conversation with a friend, and they tell you how wonderful and joyous their relationship is?

You know the story isn't true. You're the one who has picked up the phone in the middle of the night when she was upset, and you were there when she cried so much she couldn't catch her breath.

I was that person who reached out to friends and family day in and day out. The thoughts in my head were, this will pass. It will be alright. Tomorrow is another day. I knew I was well supported in every way good or bad. No matter what the circumstances. In my heart, I hoped one day he would change and things would be different. 

I would sit in silence and tell myself over and over that he will treat me better it's just a phase, and I'm focusing too much on the negative.

What I was actually doing was trying to convince myself that I was with the right person. 

When we invest so much time in a person, our energy our love our kindness. Even when the relationship goes sour, we find ourselves never giving up, we become determined to find good in our situation and stay even though it hurts. 

It doesn't make sense to most people. As females, when we share our heart with a man we take it seriously, and we do what we can to hold our relationship, and families together. 

The most important thing we must do is stop working with our heart and our emotions when it comes to our happiness and joy. 

Your asking what do I mean? If we direct our thoughts on what is happening in our lives and leave emotion out of it. We will recognize that the relationship we are in is unhealthy and doesn't make us or our family stronger together. It will eventually tear us apart. How long can we play a convincing role with ourselves and the people around us? It gets exhausting.

Don't let comfort convince you that he is the one. I'm sure you have told yourself, he is everything you have been looking for in a man. Not if you have to go through this. Did you read what I wrote? Trying to convince someone to love you, and treat you amazing, will put you in a painful place. 

There is no happy ending here. This is not a fairy tale. 

Doing more for them to compensate for happiness will leave you broken, and won't change your situation. It doesn't matter what you do or try to do better. This isn't what love feels like. 

This is your happiness and love your compromising. 

Never forget who you are in any circumstance, most of all never let anyone control the love you have in your heart, and never give up wanting to live the life you are created to live.

Begin today and make this change. Laugh, and smile embrace life's goodness, because you deserve it. If you're stuck, join thousands of women like yourself who have changed their lives.

This changed my entire life. It can change yours. 

Begin today by clicking the link on the bottom of the picture. Set up a free consultation.



You can start immediately. I created 4 (four) meditations that you can choose from. Start with one that pretains to your circumstances. 

They will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and be more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. Help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

Be blessed,
I look forward to speaking with you.
Amilia Powers



#oprahsbookclub #coffeewithamilia









Monday, November 30, 2020

Pain Behind Broken Vases/Amilia Powers



We all know when something isn't right. There isn't anyone reading this that can tell me any different. We make a choice to either deal with it or make a change. I knew when things weren't good in my relationship. I knew he was falling apart. He was very abusive, there was no color coating that. I made a choice to try. Whether if that's wrong or right, that's what I chose to do.

Well, "Choice" is a wonderful word, isn't it? This word is used in every area of our lives. Let me explain. We make a choice to get up in the morning, right? We make a choice to either live happy, or sad. We make a choice to be clean or dirty. Ect...

I knew I was in charge of how I felt, but I still made a choice to be unhappy. What I was really doing was holding on to the falsehood that one day my destructive relationship would be a happy one. Hoping that I would live happily ever after like many couples I knew.

What started to happen, I began to resent my feelings. My heart told me many times this isn't right. I didn't want to listen to that. I began to battle with myself, what a conflict that was. I tried to figure out this big master plan, that if I changed this or that, and made things more exciting than my life would magically change, and we would fall in love all over again.

What I want you to focus on here is, I wanted to change my feelings and make things wonderful and happy, but not once did I tell you he wanted things to change, or that he mentioned to me he has something exciting planned for us. It takes two ladies.

I was fighting a never-ending battle, that I wasn't going to win. Things became worse, he began to disrespect me as much as he could. The belittling, cursing, fighting, and you can figure out the rest.

I knew what happiness is really like. I have that with my friends and family, those contagious belly laughs that are uncontrollable. The memories, when you sit at your desk at work and a thought comes to your mind and your smiling from ear to ear of complete joy.

I wasn't living like this at all. I wasn't looking forward to spending time with him. I began to dislike him as a person and human being. I couldn't stand looking at him, let alone hearing his voice. It would go right through me like a sword piercing through my heart.

As life for me began a new chapter, I took a very good look at what transpired. I started to really focus on myself. I understood why life treated me this way. I didn't blame him. I learned that I have a responsibility to myself. As you read above. We can not change others to love and feel the same way we feel. Most people are dealing with their own stuff, and don't know how to handle it. You never want to be a target of someone else's inner demons.

Please when you first begin to notice it's wrong, it is wrong. Don't second guess it, and don't try to fix it. Please do not stay in it.

This is how "Pain Behind Broken Vases" came about. This is a novel based on a true story. A young woman who hoped and dreamt that one day she would be able to fall in love.

When that day arrived she felt a glimmer of hope. A man who would care for her and treat her special.

She mistook that for amazing love and unfortunately it turned into pain and torment. The fear of letting go consumed her because she loved him and wanted the relationship to work. All she felt and tried to hold onto was the day they first met. 

Each chapter will keep you in suspense. Pain Behind Broken Vases will have you sitting on the edge of your seat from the first paragraph. You will feel firsthand what it is like to only have fear to hold onto. 

ORDER YOUR COPY TODAY...


https://www.amazon.com/Behind-Broken-Vases-Amilia-Powers/dp/1952521335

Visit me by clicking the link on my bio 

www.coffeewithamilia.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

Amilia Powers 

Sunday, November 8, 2020

Never Compromise Your Happiness--Toxic Relationship


WE ARE AMAZING WOMEN






when I was a young girl in my teens. I use to sit in my room and daydream about the day I would meet my handsome prince. Like all childhood fairy tales, they ended happily ever after. In Love Forever.

As I grew up and began to date, I realized that life isn't a fairy tale at all. Not everyone will treat you like a princess, and do the loving things that you hoped and dreamed of as you became older. 

We try to hold on to those stories, hoping that one day we will find the love of our life, and live blissfully.

That day finally came. I met the love of my life, I was treated like a princess, I thought we were the only two people in the world. As if the world was rotating around us. Every day was amazing. I would feel my heart smile. It was a wonderful time in my life. 

One day I came home, happy as I left in the morning but my world seemed to come to a stop. His voice was different, and his smile was nowhere to be found. I wasn't even given a chance to ask him what was the matter, he told me to leave him alone and he didn't want to talk to me. 

I went to the bedroom and prepared for bed. It was early, but I didn't want to go into the living room or kitchen. He wants to be alone. I don't know if something happened at work. So many questions were running through my head. I never saw him like this before. Maybe tomorrow we will talk. I will just stay here for the night. 

I fell asleep and didn't even hear him leave in the morning. He has never left the house without saying goodbye and without a kiss. Maybe he will call me later and tell me. I didn't have to work today and began my day as I usually do. I tried not to think about it until I knew what was going on. 

He came home late afternoon, didn't say hello. I greeted him anyway. He started yelling at me for not having his dinner ready. We never have dinner this early. When I told him this, he told me to shut up. 

I finally asked him what was the matter, and he remained quiet. It was so silent and uncomfortable during dinner that you could hear a pin drop. I didn't know what else to say. Day after day he began to treat me worse. I loved him and didn't want to lose him. I let this continue. 

I believe at this time you can basically understand where the story is going. I let this go on for some time. I was verbally and hurtfully tormented by a narcissist. 

If you are going through this, don't hang on to him longer than you have to. Love isn't supposed to feel so bad. You must reach out to a close friend or family, you can't do this alone. Support is the key.
You will get through this. You will be safe. You will stay in faith. 

As I began the healing process and learned to add forgiveness to my life, I began to write through my pain and started workshops to help women all across the country stand up and take notice of their life. I also created meditations through my prayers that are now helping thousands of women overcome these struggles in their own lives. Silence can only work against you and not for you. Being at war with your heart, and feeling those deep wounds that no one can reach, because you decided to stay silent is not the way you want to live your life.

This is your love and happiness your compromising. Never forget who you are in any circumstance, most of all never let anyone control the love you have in your heart. 


It's time to begin and join thousands of women who have changed their lives with my "Personalized Meditations," which is created for your own personal circumstances.

These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and be more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. 

These Meditations will help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

Start today and live the life you deserve, click the link at the bottom of the picture.
You can also leave me a message, with your contact information and the best time to reach you and I will guide you through the process.

I'm thankful and grateful every day that I can share this with you. For the good times and for the bad times, they have brought me to where I'm today.



Click the link at the bottom of the picture



                                        https://coffeewithamilia.com


Be blessed, I look forward to hearing from you. Amilia Powers
                                                        




                                          coffeewithamilia@gmail.com


Check out my book, "PAIN BEHIND BROKEN VASES" 
                                 www.valueurself.com




#oprahsbookclub #coffeewithamilia #painbehindbrokenvases



Friday, October 23, 2020

How Dangerous Is a Narcissist?


Never underestimate a Narcissist




I'm happy you are here with me. Dealing with a narcissist is very dangerous. This is a subject that is painful on so many levels. Confusion is the best word to describe the darkness that sets in. It feels as if you are in a fog in the night air, with no end in sight. 

You try and try to find a reason why someone you love would want to hurt you so bad. Not only cause you pain but want to destroy you. You've done everything in your heart to show them repeatedly in so many different ways you love them. Just to get shot down every time. Nothing you do is good enough. You are lost for words and all you have left from the agony is a blackened heart with nothing left to give. You're exhausted. He has depleted all of your energy.  

We must understand the reality of a narcissist. Boundaries do not exist. They will always treat you as if they have the right to control you and push you around. To a narcissist, your dreams do not matter, your ideas will not be heard. They do not care about your feelings. He will drive his power right through you. 

If you think for one minute that you are the only one he will control, you are highly mistaken. No one is off-limits. They will go as far as destroying your family and friends and your relationship with them, and turn it around and blame you for everything that happened. Pure evil. Very Dangerous and unpredictable. Being cautious is all you know, you must reach out for help. 

The truth is, we as rational normal people and understand what lines to cross and not hurt others viciously and intentionally because we are aware of other people's feelings. We know respectfully when to back off. Causing harm is not in our vocabulary. 

Unfortunately, the narcissist has no concept of these lines. In their demented mind, you have no right to exist in their world of make-believe. They will never understand how you can be so caring and loving and be genuine with your life. You give naturally without any motives. A narcissist doesn't play by these rules. They literally hate you for this and want you in pain. Which puts you in a very dangerous position. 

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman who found her way through her darkest hour. I never gave up hope. I never gave up on me. I will never give up on you.

I knew I didn't deserve a life of pain. I wanted my smile back, I wanted to hear myself laugh something I haven't done in so long. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it was a must to get away from him and never look back. I knew that the challenges I will be facing are just an obstacle towards freedom of torment and misery he put me through. This was worth getting out. The only words that came out of my mouth were "bring in on. I got the Lord by my side."

Having love in our lives is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. 

I have added to my coaching practices, back by popular demand "Personalized Meditations."
For more information, click the link below. This helped women all across the country, rise beyond their pain and struggles. 


Have a blessed day
Amilia Powers

Saturday, October 17, 2020

3 Signs You're Dating a Narcissist

Who Are You Dating?




You are here because you are noticing behavior that you never witnessed before. A twist in your emotions, and a sudden uncertainty where his mood and comments are coming from. You've given him a pass for his uncomfortable attitude and unkindness once, but doing so it's become worse, and you need an explanation. 

Your beginning to wonder if it could be something happening at his job. You might be even questioning yourself if you are doing something wrong?

Let me reassure you that you are perfectly fine. Trust me, It isn't you.


1.  Jealousy of you having more people in your life than they do.

The attitude and resentment, that you are noticing, that change of mood swings he has, all stems from the need a narcissist has to want to be the center of your world. He doesn't have the relationships you do. You have connections on a deeper level than he does. The only thing he has is you.

He will express his feelings by lashing out and make it uncomfortable for you to go out and enjoy yourself with the ones you love. The guilt trip he places in your lap becomes very heavy and It creates an emotion of unhappiness, and you begin to feel that it is wrong to hurt his feelings. 

This is bounding you to him on emotion. Nothing should matter more. He Thinks he is enough to make you complete. 

You must look into his life, before getting deeper involved with him. 

Who are his friends? Who is his family? Does he have any friends? 

2.  Overwhelming you with gifts and surprises

Every girl loves getting gifts. Who wouldn't? The twist behind a Narcissist's overwhelming you with love at first sight. Is to get you exactly where they want you. They have your undivided attention, and you are being swept off your feet without knowing what is happening to you. Be aware of this. The mistake that happens is that we get so caught up in the moment that we put blinders on and can't see the entire picture of what is truly going on

This is a recipe for disaster. Once the relationship moves into an exclusive one, then it becomes toxic almost immediately. The criticism start. He begins to devalue you. You begin to question your self-worth and the type of person you are, and begin to believe what he is saying to you is true.

Notice the obvious. He isn't giving you much attention anymore. There aren't any more flowers or gifts. Small talk now demands. 

You must be aware of the sudden changes in his personality. If he is angry a lot and tends not to be happy about anything. There is always a problem or dispute. 


3.  You are being harassed daily

There is nothing more degrading than to have the person you love tell you they don't like anything you do. From what you wear, to the food you cook or the shows you watch. 

Picking at the way you look. As a female, we love to hear words such as, "you look beautiful," "I love your smile," "you have great taste."

Unfortunately, with a narcissist, there will only be put-downs and insults to make you feel powerless and defeated. Their goal is to capture your emotions and have you desperately trying to have their approval, which leaves you in a place of despair. 

If you find yourself within these 3 Signs, it is time to reevaluate going further in this relationship. Always remember, your happiness comes first. No one has a right to treat you with disrespect or unkindness. 

Your love should never shadow what is going on in your life at this present time. You have complete control, don't let anyone or yourself tell you differently. There is no room for excuses. 

Happiness and joy are apart of sharing. Always be honest with yourself. If you are not excited about your life and are treated in a way that drains your spirit, please make that change. Love is such a precious gift from God. No one has the right to take it.

Having love in our lives is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

Reach out, take the first step. Your life deserves it. 

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time 
to reach you.

Learn more about me
by visiting my websites:

www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com


Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com



#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
                                          
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship 
#narcissist #narcissism 
#narcissistabuse