Saturday, August 24, 2019

Take Control of Your Life--No More Abuse

Stand Strong, No More Abuse






                                                       
TAKE ACTION

I would like to tell you a bit about myself. I was in a bad situation with a very abusive man. I couldn't tiptoe light enough, it was if I was walking on pins and needles, even my silence was deafening to his ears. He suffocated my voice, my inner peace was in turmoil. He could hear my cry for help, which I believed helped him to identify my weakness. This abuse was not in my head. I knew what kind of relationship I was in. How do I know this you might be asking? Because I was never treated this way in my entire life. I knew this is not what love represents. All I was to this person was an object, a living thing to physically, mentally control, and abuse. The unsettled feeling of not knowing what to do, or what was going to happen next had me frightened in every way possible. I never saw this coming.

The change in the relationship was instantaneous as soon as we moved in together, all of the horrors of a life I never knew excited, I was living. All I kept thinking was, what the hell I did to my life? I knew I had to change this. There aren't enough hours in a day, month, or year that I could put into this type of madness to change him. I would just be giving him another excuse to abuse me even more for mentioning the changes that need to take place. I continued to remember that this isn't the love I dreamed of, I deserve to be treated better than this. My abuser needed to change himself, his issues are not mine, or yours to worry about if this is happening to you. But most importantly I needed to focus on me. I wanted desperately to become a stronger, and healthier person.





I knew gaining the understanding of these crucial points would help guide me to step away from this unkindness and create standards in my life that I will live by going forward. In fact, I want to embrace a love I deserve.

A loving relationship full of kindness, and respect for one another. I was raised with these principles.


"A person who loves you will never find it in their heart to abuse you."

I am with you, and I know in my heart what you are feeling. I know why you are reading this message. We need to remove ourselves from this abusive situation, there is NO time to waste. The longer we wait, the more abusive, and unbearable the situation becomes.

These are Five (5) things that helped me overcome:

1. We need to stop accepting this abuse, and making excuses for it.

2. We need to understand this is not our fault, and we can't change them.

3. We come first, and family (children) we are not alone in this abuse cycle.

4. We must reach out for help. Ask for assistance, ask for guidance.

5. We need to make a stand and change our life. You are the keyword.

Nothing changes unless we change our circumstances. No one is going to do it for us. I cannot express enough, that you need guidance, you can't do this alone, especially when there is children involved. Making a change is never easy, it can be very scary, but we have to do what is best for ourselves, and our family.





There are two major factors that play a big roll in why we don't let these stop you from the life you really deserve.

1. Financial help, (most times this is the biggest problem)

2. You are still convinced that they will stop abusing you, and they will change. (a common issue)

I do understand we are very emotionally involved in our own situation, and each issue is very delicate when it comes to abuse, I more than understand this point. I know we want to believe that things will get better, and these men will change. We want them to treat us with kindness, and love us the way we always wished they would.

The truth of the matter is, this is the reason we need to speak to someone and reach out for help. We are not in the position to make a rational decision on our lives if we are making any type of excuses on why we should stay in a destructive relationship. Please remember you serve a kind and loving life, filled with all the joy the world can bring. We will never know how life feels if we remain in an abusive lifestyle.

There comes a time, we have to make a choice, and take responsibility for what is happening in our lives, and make it better. We have to have control of our lives. The power is ours. You know what to look for, you are an intelligent person. The warning signs are clear to you. You will not allow any of this pain back into your life again. You will set boundaries at the beginning, you will have standards you will live by. You know what to do at the first sign of disrespect. Your foot will always be planted firmly on the ground with anything that is unacceptable. Please do me a favor and reach out. It will change your life. This step has changed mine.



Don't give up the fight, you're the most valuable currency there is





Join thousands of women who broke from free, and our living the loving life they were created to live

To Contact Amilia Powers:
Begin by clicking the link--www.coffeewithamilia.com
valueurself—Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn 

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Friday, August 16, 2019

What a Narcissistic Leaves behind--Abuse



What A Narcissist Leaves Behind





In my relationship with a narcissist, the most painful issue I encountered was, he would never remember what he said or did to me the day after or even the day of his rage. Whenever I would bring up how I was treated, the answer I would get was "I'm out of my mind." He acted as if he didn't know what I was referring to. A big puzzled look on his face, as if he was struck with Amnesia.

Has anyone ever received this nonchalant attitude from a narcissistic partner? It's more painful than being cursed at in public. At least out in the world he is showing what kind of coward he is. But behind closed doors, my heart is being torn in two.

A man trying so hard with his manipulation and his campaign to make me believe that I'm overreacting or unstable, doing the best that a narcissist can do to create doubt in my mind. He wouldn't let me speak a word when his bullying took over. Believing that his hurtful behavior was brought on by me. That I was the creator of my own pain. Being with him for quite some time I realized he fed his strength through chaos and violence. His inner demon was being fulfilled. He was his healthiest during conflict.

As time went by I did the best I could to hold myself together. I knew in my heart and through my faith, I would get through this. I did what I could to arm myself with knowledge. I gathered information I needed from professionals, I asked many questions and found guidance to walk me through an emotional roller coaster by staying focused. By acknowledging the games that were played and I started not to entertain in his made up arguments or give him the attention that a narcissist craves. In order to stop this roller coaster ride, I needed to stop it myself. I was exhausted and wanted my life back. I knew by doing this, he will eventually leave, I would be no use to him. He would begin to round up his next partner, someone who would give him the attention he needs as a lifeline, someone who would listen to nonsense, and his cry as a victim.

Now, don't think for one minute this was easy at all. He didn't leave without causing a dramatic exit. There were many pieces to pick up after he left. Relationships with family and close friends that I had to rekindle with. There wasn't anything that he didn't try to destroy. There is only one thing that he could not touch is my faith. The power that led me through my pain. No matter how many times he called and tried to talk. I made sure the door was shut forever. Don't be played by his apologies. They mean nothing. There isn't one thing this man could say to me to allow him back into my life. Nothing.

If you are in a relationship like this, or recently out of your relationship. NO CONTACT is what I would prescribe for you. No contact should be your number one priority. When you finally have no fear of the narcissist, you will diffuse their power to conflict any more abuse to you. If you have children, and can't apply no contact with your abusive partner? Use the Gray Rock Method instead. Please take a few minutes and look this up.

STAY AWAY ANY WAY YOU CAN.

The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy.

You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you. You are not alone. I will answer any questions you may have.
Contact me at amiliapowers@gmail.com or visit my website www.coffeewithamilia.com

I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you with this situation, these were my prayers turned into meditations, that are now helping thousands of women like yourself, live the life they were created to live.

These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. Help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

You can get more information, by clicking on the link below.

https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s








Be blessed,

I look forward to speaking with you.

We will continue our conversation on Sunday

Amilia Powers


#freespiritwoman #lifecoach#spiritualcoach #coach #spirituality
#enlightenment #truth#healingmeditation #valueurself #intuitive
#meditate #awakening #mindset #quotestoliveby #wordstoliveby #positivity 
#womenempoweringwomen #guidance #wellness #realtalk #success
#motivation #inspiration #healingwomen #vintage #antique #oprah 
#oprahsbookclub 














Sunday, August 11, 2019

Riding a Wave with a Narcissist--Painful Place


The Roller Coaster Ride of Recovery




When the Shit hits the fan, you are left in the dark. You lose your bearings and thrown off balance, your emotions are flip-flopping all over the place. You are wondering why me? What happened? What's next?

You love them and hate them, you begin to search the web because you're running on high anxiety. The biggest question you ask yourself is, are they in as much pain as you? In the back of your mind, you already have the answer, but you still move forward looking for something, anything to satisfy your hunger.

No matter what they put you through, you can't seem to turn off the switch connecting them to your heart. You find yourself struggling with the loss. The emotional pain that keeps a strong hold on you and all levels of his manipulation, you can't seem to come up for air. Your world seems to be wiped out from under you as if someone quickly pulled the rug but you manage to stay together.

You finally gather enough strength to tell yourself, "You can do it," then the unthinkable happens. He ends up on your doorstep ringing the door like a mad man and pounding on the door with his fist expressing his apologies loudly as if he is desperate. He's not back because he loves you, he's back because he hasn't destroyed you and he's pissed.  His mission is to leave you with pain and alone. He doesn't like watching you move on with your life, happiness is out of the question.

You know if you answer the door it would be the worst move you have ever done. There is a demon on the other side that is ready to deliver grief, sorrow, and pain. You might have been questioning yourself, should I or shouldn't I? Now is the time to put your foot down and make a change. You did just that when you didn't open the door, you didn't fall for the whining evil voice.

You changed, you became stronger, more aware of what is happening in your life. Knowing that loneliness in a painful relationship is the worst place to be. You began to separate yourself from friends and family who are either narcissist or remained connected to the narcissist. The last thing you want to do is live in your past. Cutting ties is what needs to be done. This is a great start for a new life.

I'm the woman you are reading about, who has been through this. A woman who found her way through the darkest of times. A woman who praised God, and never stopped believing that I was meant to live a better life other than pain. I'm a woman just like you. I never gave up on me.
Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who has her voice, who stands up for what she believes in and smiles about having control of her life. 
That is you. 
Visit me at www.valueurself.com and leave me a message, and the best time to reach you. You're not in this alone. I'm here with you.





I have created a special addition to my meditation practices. It is back from popular demand. It is "Personalized Meditations."

These Meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone, help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems. We are excited to share this with you:

For more information about this, click the link below.


The biggest myth is people believing that they cannot shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the Meditation is personalized, you tune right into your life and solutions. There isn't any sound that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time to reach you.

Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com



Friday, August 2, 2019

Fulfilling Life after Narcissistic Abuse


I'm thankful to you.



In this picture is my daughter Niki, who is a big part of this organization, she helps young woman find strength through their struggles and pain, and learn to add forgiveness to their lives.

We were at the Long Island Sound having our daily meditations. I would like to share answers to questions today that I have received by email. I understand that change is never easy. The word change is difficult under certain circumstances to motivate us out of destruction.

I know this very well. I know we will hold on to our situation as if it is our lifeline. Hoping and wishes for something, anything to change. That way we are off the hook in trying to do it ourselves. I learned a long time ago, that wishing are empty promises. Don't hold yourself to them.

The truth of the matter is, our life will become worse unless we make the necessary changes to live a loving a fulfilled life. We get so caught in the details of what is happening to us. We forget we are not the only ones affected by the abuse. Our children who watch us get hurt, our parents listening to our pain, friends who want to protect us from harm, ect.....

Does this sound familiar? The more we stay connected to the ones that give us support, the more we will be encouraged, and the more likely we will make changes. Don't hide from the ones who are there for you. Open your heart to them. Let them know everything that is going on in your home. Please don't pretend that everything is alright, and shock everyone with the discovery. No one who causes you pain, abuses you, disrespects you and hurts your family is worth covering up for.

When love enters your life, it protects you. It cares about your feelings and respects you and your loved ones. Love doesn't abuse you, curse at you and neglect you.

A woman asked me this question today. "I will never have love again if I leave". What do you think of this question? My answer was, do you really believe love will be lost if you don't stay in this hurtful relationship? Her answer surprised me. She said Yes!

I'm going to share a few questions that I asked her to think about.

1. Do you love your children?
2. Do you love your Dog?
3. Do You love your family?
4. Do you love yourself?
5. How do you rate your value?
6. Is this the life you dreamed of?

How do you think she answered these questions? She told me love was nowhere to be found. That's odd when she answered Yes to the first 4 questions, and began to evaluate her heart on questions 5 and 6. I wouldn't let her make any excuses. I wanted her to focus on her life. She isn't the only one involved here.

It's time for a change ladies. There is no room in our lives for torment and abuse. Stop the chain reaction. Don't let this life trickle down to our daughters and sons. This is not the way love is. We have a responsibility to ourselves and our family, to make sure they are protected and loved and cared about. Check in on those important details. If it's not right, it will never be good. Time to Check Out.

I'm sharing this with you because this isn't the only email I get like this. It is hard to walk away from someone that we believed in and trusted, but there isn't any other options when we are mistreated and our children have to see it. This is definitely not the life we would want for them. Think about that.

I'm very thankful and grateful every day for the good times and for the bad times. It has brought me to where I'm today. Helping woman from all across the country heal and change their lives is a blessing. Being able to be here with you, to help you understand the importance of your value.

I created a website that is very easy to navigate and you will find helpful information to begin living a life you are created to live. You can set up a free consultation with me. I created a series of meditations that were created from my own prayers, which walks you out of the dark where you become more focused. You can pick one that pertains to your life right now, you can start immediately on making these changes.

Click the Link:

https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s


Website: www.valueurself.com 

I also created personalized meditations, that is created from your own personal circumstances, for more information about that. You can visit the link at the bottom of the picture.



Join Me Today

If you are stuck join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my "Personalize Meditations"

Click the link NOW, and
Follow the Four Simple Steps





CLICK THE LINK:

 https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations


Be blessed, I look forward to hearing from you. 
Amilia Powers

email: coffeewithamilia@gmail.com



#amiliapowers #coffeewithamilia

Misery with a Narcissist--Painful Heart


What I learned





Misery loves company is what the narcissist stand by, that's their "Golden Rule". They are incapable of feeling joy the way you do. It's impossible for the narcissist to understand why and what makes you happy. If it is not about them, nothing makes any sense to a narcissist. The question resonates in their mind. "How can this be happening?" 
They are unwilling to think about your needs. They lack insight into your emotions. The narcissist believes you should feel the same way they feel. Staying with them will drain your happiness, you will no longer feel whole. The only choice you will have is to live for them and only them. Give up any thoughts you may have of changing them, making things better by giving up more of yourself to satisfy their needs. 
Don't expect them to be happy for you when you do well. They will never praise your successes to anyone. This makes them feel very insecure about themselves and they will blame you and tell you that it's your fault they feel terrible. You will never get a narcissists approval to live your best self. You put yourself in a very unhealthy position with them. This may trigger rage inside of them and they may begin to isolate you from your family and friends. You have taken the spotlight off of them and they can't handle it. The unfortunate part of their scheme is you will never know it is happening. Until one day when you need help and you find yourself alone.    
Most narcissists will not love unless they are getting something in return. Don't think for one minute you are their everything, their one and only. Just because they resited these words to you doesn't mean they are committed to you forever. Once they have taken from you what they need they will discard you and move on, which will leave you with pain, scares, and emotionally battered. The questions of; "What did I do?" "Where is everyone?" will hit your heart. 
A narcissist has its own fragile emotional drama. Don't take their bullying for a strong secure man. On the contrary, they are the most insecure and have deep demons they can only resolve. They feel empty, and fill their void by having dominate control over our lives which gives them a sense of accomplishment. We can't take on that responsibility. Because of this, they will go to any length to make sure your smile is gone, your laugh is distant, and you don't know where to begin to put your life back the way it was once they leave. They need you to feel their pain. There biggest fear is that they are nothing without you. The narcissist must share their agony.

If you found a bit of you in this story, please do not wait another minute. You must reach out. You must let your family and friends know what is happening in your life. The direction is difficult alone. There is too much confusion. You can do this. Do it now. 

The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy.

You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute.

If this relationship sounds familiar and you need help picking up the pieces. Join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my help. Visit me at www.coffeewithamilia.com. 






Be blessed,

Stay in Faith
I look forward to speaking with you.

email: amiliapowers@gmail.com

Amilia Powers

Thursday, July 18, 2019

#1 Reason a Narcissist keeps you under his Thumb

Living Under The Control Of Someone Else







When this happens in our life, there are no words to describe the frightening feeling it causes. I know this first hand. I was with a man who I believed I loved, and I really thought in my heart he loved me. As time went on, I began to live in his shadow. There wasn't anything more terrifying than the feeling of living in the dark. It feels as if your world comes to a halt.

I worked two, or three jobs to keep up the finances in my home. When I look back today and I realize that working was my salvation. I didn't want to go home. I felt that there was nothing I wanted to go home to. When I worked, I was able to smile, and laugh eat in peace, without unkind words, and anger. 

I began to stay to myself most of the time. I really didn't speak to many people about my situation, I was a private person. My children knew about my hurt and pain, but I kept them away from my house. I felt I was punished for something I didn't do. I saw my family less and less. I spoke about my situation less and less. I began to feel the grip on my life. In reality, it didn't belong to me anymore. There were days, I prayed someone would come and save me. I didn't know what to do myself or where to begin to fix this. 

I wanted what every woman, wished for. To be loved and respected, and cherished. My life was further from that. 

If anyone would ask me how I was, I would nod my head, and tell them everything was alright. Even if they can tell through my eyes that there was pain. I denied my feelings and held them under lock and key close to my heart.

I prayed a lot. As I was going through this hurtful period in my life, I knew this wasn't my last stop. I knew that the good Lord had something else in mind for me. I knew I had to be patient and wait out the storm. I had peace in my heart, knowing I did the best I could under the circumstances.

I would get up every day and thank God for this amazing glorious day. I knew it wasn't the life I dreamed of, I knew the day wasn't going to be what I expected. I held on to the Lord, and let him guide me through the learning process. I never felt alone, and I never gave up. This wasn't the story God wrote for me.

There were people who made fun of me. They laughed and even sent me bad wishes. It was demining, and sad. I would continue to smile and carry on with my day as if I didn't know what I heard. People sometimes forget their voice carries. Unfortunately, they believed in what they heard, but not the truth. Still today, I never tried to defend myself, I don't think there was a need for any of that. I had to walk away from people who didn't understand what I went through and let this part of me rest.

If you feel this way, please reach out and speak to someone. Get hold of family or friends, anyone that can help you. Do whatever it takes to get help. Please do not wait as long as I did. No one has the right to treat you this way.

You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you. You are not alone. I will answer any questions you may have.
Contact me at amiliapowers@gmail.com or visit my website www.valueurself.com

I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you with this situation, these were my prayers turned into meditations, that are now helping thousands of women like yourself, live the life they were created to live.

These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. Help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

You can get more information, by clicking on the link below.

https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s





Be blessed,

I look forward to speaking with you.

We will continue our conversation on Sunday

Amilia Powers


#freespiritwoman #lifecoach#spiritualcoach #coach #spirituality
#enlightenment #truth#healingmeditation #valueurself #intuitive
#meditate #awakening #mindset #quotestoliveby #wordstoliveby #positivity 
#womenempoweringwomen #guidance #wellness #realtalk #success
#motivation #inspiration #healingwomen #vintage #antique #oprah 
#oprahsbookclub 




#1 Thing a Narcissist will do to you

HEALING FROM THE PAIN





The words "I love you" unfortunately means nothing to a Narcissist. Yes, this is very disappointing to hear. We put all of our energy in loving them, caring for their feelings, being at their beck-in-call, but a Narcissist doesn't care about LOVE. The most important thing that feeds their soul is attention, bad or good this is what they crave. If they have to use you to get it, then that's what they will do. If they don't get this in, either way, positive or negative, except that rage is coming next. They will do anything and everything they can to provoke a response from you. In their minds, having the power of over you comes first. They must see you vulnerable and weak, as long as you seem less of a person in their eyes they feel the surge of importance.

Healing from the emotional stress, and the hurt that was caused by this volatile abusive relationship is giving yourself time to gather your thoughts and collect your feelings. First, understand you were abused. You must realize you were dealing with a person who is very sick, dysfunctional and has issues beyond anything you will ever understand. There was nothing you've done wrong, and nothing you could have done differently. You gave from your heart and did everything you could as a loving caring woman would do. He's a broken person, who is very angry and resentful with his life and would love nothing more but to cause pain and hurt to other people. There is nothing you can do to put him together no matter how hard you tried. They are sadistic people who can't handle anyone being happier or better than them.

A Narcissist is a master manipulator, they don't know any other way to live. If you ever break-up with them, they will not leave your life without leaving the remanence of their rath behind. I know this from my own experience. I had no breaks from his emptiness. I found that his constant planning and scheming that he had blindfolded everyone from who he really was. I knew something was going to happen, but I kept my cool. He did everything he could to dismantle my family. The greed he carried for public fans was like a child getting high honors. He didn't leave out any harsh words or abusive dominance from his fame driven focus. 

If you are living with someone and the only thing you look forward to is when he leaves. The only thing you can feel in your heart is that it's better to be alone then hear their voice. You breathe better knowing that your every move, and every thought isn't criticized. You didn't have to give reasons for what your wearing, what your eating, you can go about your day without second-guessing yourself or looking over your shoulder. Best of all NO smart comments. You can finally have a minute even if your one eye is on the clock. Not knowing what to expect when your moment of silence is over. 

If you found a bit of you in this story, please do not wait another minute. You must reach out. You must let your family and friends know what is happening in your life. The direction is difficult alone. There is too much confusion. You can do this. Do it now. 

The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy.

You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute.

If this relationship sounds familiar and you need help picking up the pieces. Join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my help. Visit me at www.coffeewithamilia.com.