LIVING WITH A PERSON WHO NEEDS CONSTANT REASSURANCE
What Happens Next
I know one thing for sure, happiness can only come from within themselves.
Your partners need for reassurance, think about this for a moment before we go further. Reassurance is removing the fears and doubts that a person may have.
Don't think for a moment that this your fault. You will start to wonder that your partner didn't really love you. That there was something you did to cause him to drift.
It is not you. This need comes from a place deeper then you can go. You must have a conversation with someone/professional who can help you find out more about their life-childhood. Most of the time answers would be found within this period.
1. Your partner could of felt a loss of some kind. A father who never gave them love, or a mother who passed very early in life, or they might of had one parent in their life that didn't show much affection, there could have been some loneliness. Ect....
2. Every person has a different upbringing and those circumstances in their life may cause them to rehash what they witnessed or dealt with in their personal lives. The reassurance from their partner will never be enough for them. It doesn't matter how many times you say "I love you." They reach out to different people to get praised. To show them love, and kindness that they have been lacking all their life, but at the end of the day they still find themselves empty and not fulfilled. They can never turn back the clock, and change what has happened in their lives, even if they want that to be the case. That time frame is gone.
3. No one in their lives has ever sat down to talk. To explain that the feelings they are having are natural. The love and kindness that they were missing were not because they weren't good people, or nice kids, but an issue their parents were going through. Their parents probably were never shown love, because of this they didn't know how to extend that to them. This is where the cycle continues. As a young adult growing up they were never taught the importance of disconnecting what their parents did from their personal lives. They were never told that life is full of love, and you can create your own happiness and share this with others. So their search continues.
4. It is very important for you to understand what they are going through is not your fault, but they need someone beyond yourself to speak to, so they can deeply explain their life in order to get to the root of the problem. They hid these periods from their life, and this is the outcome. They are living them now, and probably throughout their life on different levels, and every time something happens they are able to reach into their memory and release a feeling here and there. Still carrying the burden.
5. In this type of situation where your feelings begin to race. You feel cheated on, disrespected and the trust you had is now floating in mid-air. You find your partner to be an unfaithful person, and you begin to rethink your life with them going forward. You have every right to feel this way. You can only feel what you see. I'm asking you to be patient. If your partner is willing to work on a solution to live a healthier and loving life then you should give them that chance.
This isn't insecurity, please don't get this all mixed up, and this is not an excuse for bad behavior. The bottom line here, they have underlying feelings that were never resolved. This is where your love becomes stronger and with some understanding, your partner can get the help they really need. You will have to adjust your heart to salvage your relationship.