Wednesday, June 24, 2020

When the Pain is Deep--Narcissist Abuse

No one knows how it feels, to go through this pain






I have women emailing me all the time about people in their lives trying to tell them how they should feel and what they should do about their situation and have no clue what it's like to be hurt by someone they love. Yes, I get this very well. It is very difficult to take advice from someone who doesn't understand the depth of your pain because they have never had to deal with it, but they seem to be experts in the field.

The unfortunate part of this we begin to get frustrated and misunderstood. Now you start to believe that it's something you've done. Not only do you have your own situation to focus on, and you're trying your hardest to figure out the next steps you need to take, you have other people in the mix, which has caused more confusion, and are making matters worse for you. You feel you should have just kept things to yourself.

Eventually, what happens here, we let go of the need to explain ourselves and our situation to others. We pull back and stay alone in thought, and try to figure things out on our own and wish we had some support. But the last thing we need is to get into a disagreement or argument over what is happening in our life. Because someone feels they know more about it than you do.

I found myself always on the defensive. Too many questions about why.

1. Why did you let your situation go so far?

2. Why didn't you call for help?

3. Why did you allow him to hurt you?

4. Why didn't you stand up for yourself?

These questions obviously came from people who have absolutely no right to ask them. Why you might ask because they weren't living my life or your life. They don't understand the circumstances. Did you ever hear that saying? "You will never understand until it happens to you" This saying holds merit.

We really didn't need people telling us everything is fine now, or this will pass or you'll get over it. Ect...

What we were looking for or still are seeking is understanding, compassion, and support. While we figure things out and collect our lives and begin to put the pieces back together that are scattered like confetti everywhere we turn.

By telling someone, you should have done this or that would make them feel like a failure, they would begin to second guess themselves. No, advise here not needed. This person needs encouragement and someone to listen.

Don't judge, no one deserves to be judged going through a difficult time. If they cry they need to get it out. That's not a sign of weakness, this is something that needs to take place, all apart of the healing process. If they don't look as if they are put together, keep your comments to yourself. They will get better without your foolish remarks.

You obviously do not know what someone is going through, so have some compassion, and reassure them that they are not alone. Getting out of bed is the most difficult task in many cases. They are most likely facing many challenges ahead.

Everyone has their own stuff, is that fair to say? We are still responsible for how we treat others. Many situations take longer for most people to even understand. Healing is endless. Things will come up in their daily lives, such as memories, thoughts of pain, and hurt that will bring sorrow. Like a replay button that doesn't stop. It turns the emotional gauge higher and lower depending on the day. As time goes on it becomes lighter and easier to deal with. Until then. Love

Love them and show support all the time. Share joy and kindness. This is the most effective way that a person who is broken will feel the most supported. Did you ever hear the saying?
"love conquers all"

Remember a very important golden role: "We Rise By Helping Others"


We are stronger together. Strength runs in numbers.

Click the link below, and live the life you are created to live. 





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The biggest myth is people believing to not shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the meditation is personalized you tune right into your life and solution.

There isn't any sound or noise that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.

Be blessed,
I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message and the best time to reach you.
I will guide you through the process
Amilia
amiliapowers@gmail.com


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Thursday, June 18, 2020

2 Steps to Move Forward from a Breakup--Narcissist Abuse


HOW DO I MOVE FORWARD FROM A BREAKUP??






We have so much to do. 
I get several emails per-day, asking me how do I get rid of the thoughts of my ex-boyfriend, ex-husband...etc..?
This is a very important question. Getting rid of thoughts of your ex, vs making those thoughts less powerful in your mind are two different things. In order to lessen the focus, I have two suggestions.

#1. Let's begin to unclutter those thoughts.

Walk around your home, and look to see what you have. Do you have pictures of him, that keep you up all night? Do you have items that he gave to you, that turn your stomach into knots?
The biggest thing, that women do not like to part with is clothing and jewelry. It is time to begin to unclutter your feelings. Keeping things around that remind you of hurt and pain is not going to do you any justice. Do you really need that shirt, pants or purse? These items can be replaced. You were able to buy these things before he entered your life, and you can get them now. It doesn't make you feel any better every time you reach into your bag and have that reminder of the hurt you endured. I recommend you do this gently, and when you are ready, if you can give away, one item a day, you will lighten up your heart.

#2. Stop talking about your EX with friends and family.

Don't bring him up in conversation, and don't invite chatter from anyone. This will help you become stronger with your present life. You will be able to enjoy new things, make fresh memories, and bring back your smile, and the laugh that you didn't have for some time. It's time to stop living in the past.

If you have people in your life that will not stop gossiping and keep bringing him up, then you need to distance yourself from their life. I know this is hard to do, but you have to do it in order to have peace. People must learn to respect your wishes. Unfortunately, we have to teach them to do so.  If they love you they would do this for you, knowing what your going through. The less Chit Chat you hear about him the better you will feel. Start speaking about things you look forward to and want to experience. Fill your heart with excitement and joy. This is your time. Begin living for your future and stop living in the past.

Contact me at www.coffeewithamilia.com
You don't have to do this alone.
Have a blessed day. I have many blogs right here that will help you.
Please go through them.
Amilia Powers

Click the link below. I have an ebook you should pick up for this particular situation, it will guide you, and prepare you for the things you must do to begin living the life you are created to live.


Begin today and apologize to yourself for everything that has happened to you. Keep your faith close and God first. I wish you an incredible start to a new journey.

I look forward to hearing from you.
Amilia