Wednesday, June 24, 2020

When the Pain is Deep--Narcissist Abuse

No one knows how it feels, to go through this pain






I have women emailing me all the time about people in their lives trying to tell them how they should feel and what they should do about their situation and have no clue what it's like to be hurt by someone they love. Yes, I get this very well. It is very difficult to take advice from someone who doesn't understand the depth of your pain because they have never had to deal with it, but they seem to be experts in the field.

The unfortunate part of this we begin to get frustrated and misunderstood. Now you start to believe that its something you've done. Not only do you have your own situation to focus on, and you're trying your hardest to figure out the next steps you need to take, you have other people in the mix, which has caused more confusion, and are making matters worse for you. You feel you should have just kept things to yourself.

Eventually, what happens here, we let go of the need to explain our selves and our situation with others. We pull back and stay alone in thought, and try to figure things out on our own and wish we had some support. But the last thing we need is to get into a disagreement or argument over what is happening in our life. Because someone feels they know more about it then you do.

I found myself always on the defensive. Too many questions about why.

1. Why did you let your situation go so far?

2. Why didn't you call for help?

3. Why did you allow him to hurt you?

4. Why didn't you stand up for yourself?

These questions obviously came from people who have absolutely no right to ask them. Why you might ask because they weren't living my life or your life. They don't understand the circumstances. Did you ever hear that saying? "You will never understand until it happens to you" This saying holds merit.

We really didn't need people telling us everything is fine now, or this will pass or you'll get over it. Ect...

What we were looking for or still are seeking is understanding, compassion, and support. While we figure things out and collect our lives and begin to put the pieces back together that are scattered like confetti everywhere we turn.

By telling someone, you should have done this or that would make them feel like a failure, they would begin to second guess themselves. No, advise here not needed. This person needs encouragement and someone to listen.

Don't judge, no one deserves to be judged going through a difficult time. If they cry they need to get it out. That's not a sign of weakness, this is something that needs to take place, all apart of the healing process. If they don't look as if they are put together, keep your comments to yourself. They will get better without your foolish remarks.

You obviously do not know what someone is going through, so have some compassion, and reassure them that they are not alone. Getting out of bed is the most difficult task in many cases. They are most likely facing many challenges ahead.

Everyone has there own stuff, is that fair to say? We are still responsible for how we treat others. Many situations take longer for most people to even understand. Healing is endless. Things will come up in their daily lives, such as memories, thoughts of pain and hurt that will bring sorrow. Like a replay button that doesn't stop. It turns the emotional gauge higher and lower depending on the day. As time goes on it becomes lighter and easier to deal with. Until then. Love

Love them and show support all the time. Share joy and kindness. This is the most effective way that a person who is broken will feel the most supported. Did you ever hear the saying?
"love conquers all"

Remember a very important golden role: "We Rise By Helping Others"


We are stronger together. Strength runs in numbers.

Click the link below, and live the life you are created to live. 





If you are stuck, join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my "Personalize Meditations"

I have created a special addition to my meditation practices. It is back from popular demand. It is "Personalized Meditations" Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems. 

We are excited to share this with you, start today.


https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations

The biggest myth is people believing to not shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the meditation is personalized you tune right into your life and solution.

There isn't any sound or noise that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.

Be blessed,
I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message and the best time to reach you.
I will guide you through the process
Amilia
amiliapowers@gmail.com


#inspired #healing #healingthebrokenhearted #inspirations #motivational #howdoiforgive #InspirationalWomen #quotestoliveby #growyourbusiness #careerwoman #valueurself #femaleentrepreneur #entrepreneur #femaleentrepreneurs #myownboss #womensupportingwomen #bosschick #womenstyle #womenstuff #womeninspiringwomen



Thursday, June 18, 2020

2 Steps to Move Forward from a Breakup--Narcissist Abuse


HOW DO I MOVE FORWARD FROM A BREAKUP??






We have so much to do. 
I get several emails per-day, asking me how do I get rid of the thoughts of my ex-boyfriend, ex-husband...etc..?
This is a very important question. Getting rid of thoughts of your ex, vs making those thoughts less powerful in your mind are two different things. In order to lessen the focus, I have a two suggestions.

#1. Let's begin to unclutter those thoughts.

Walk around your home, and look to see what you have. Do you have pictures of him, that keep you up all night? Do you have items that he gave to you, that turn your stomach into knots?
The biggest thing, that woman do not like to part with is clothing and jewelry. It is time to begin to unclutter your feelings. Keeping things around that remind you of hurt and pain is not going to do you any justice. Do you really need that shirt, pants or purse? These Items can be replaced. You were able to buy these things before he entered into your life, and you can get them now. It doesn't make you feel any better every time you reach into your bag and have that reminder of the hurt you endured. I recommend you do this gently, and when you are ready, if you can give away, one item a day, you will lighten up your heart.

#2. Stop talking about your EX with friends and family.

Don't bring him up in conversation, and don't invite chatter from anyone. This will help you become stronger with your present life. You will be able to enjoy new things, make fresh memories, and bring back your smile, and the laugh that you didn't have for some time. It's time to stop living in the past.

If you have people in your life that will not stop gossiping and keep bringing him up, then you need to distance yourself from their life. I know this is hard to do, but you have to do it in order to have peace. People must learn to respect your wishes. It's unfortunate that we have to teach them to do so.  If they love you they would do this for you, knowing what your going through. The less Chit Chat you hear about him the better you will feel. Start speaking about things you look forward to and want to experience. Fill your heart with excitement and joy. This is your time. Begin living for your future and stop living in the past.

Contact me at www.coffeewithamilia.com
You don't have to do this alone.
Have a blessed day. I have many blogs right here that will help you.
Please go through them.
Amilia Powers

Click the link below. I have an ebook you should pick up for this particular situation, it will guide you, and prepare you for the things you must do to begin living the life you are created to live.


Begin today and apologize to yourself for everything that has happened to you. Keep your faith close and God first. I wish you an incredible start to a new journey.

I look forward to hearing from you.
Amilia




Sunday, June 7, 2020

Never Comprise Your Happiness--Toxic Relationship


WE ARE AMAZING WOMEN






when I was a young girl in my teens. I use to sit in my room and daydream about the day I would meet my handsome prince. Like all childhood fairy tales, they ended happily ever after. In Love Forever.

As I grew up and began to date, I realized that life isn't a fairy tale at all. Not everyone will treat you like a princess, and do the loving things that you hoped and dreamed of as you became older. 

We try to hold on to those stories, hoping that one day we will find the love of our life, and live blissfully.

That day finally came. I met the love of my life, I was treated like a princess, I thought we were the only two people in the world. As if the world was rotating around us. Every day was amazing. I would feel my heart smile. It was a wonderful time in my life. 

One day I came home, happy as I left in the morning but my world seemed to come to a stop. His voice was different, and his smile was nowhere to be found. I wasn't even given a chance to ask him what was the matter, he told me to leave him alone and he didn't want to talk to me. 

I went to the bedroom and prepared for bed. It was early, but I didn't want to go into the living room or kitchen. He wants to be alone. I don't know if something happened at work. So many questions were running through my head. I never saw him like this before. Maybe tomorrow we will talk. I will just stay in here for the night. 

I fell asleep and didn't even hear him leave in the morning. He has never left the house without saying goodbye and without a kiss. Maybe he will call me later and tell me. I didn't have to work today and began my day as I usually do. I tried not to think about it until I knew what was going on. 

He came home late afternoon, didn't say hello. I greeted him anyway. He started yelling at me for not having his dinner ready. We never have dinner this early. When I told him this, he told me to shut up. 

I finally asked him what was the matter, and he remained quiet. It was so silent and uncomfortable during dinner that you could hear a pin drop. I didn't know what else to say. Day after day he began to treat me worse. I loved him and didn't want to lose him. I let this continue on. 

I believe at this time you can basically understand where the story is going. I let this go on for some time. I was verbally and hurtfully tormented by a narcissist. 

If you are going through this, don't hang on to him longer than you have too. Love isn't supposed to feel so bad. You must reach out to a close friend or family, you can't do this alone. Support is the key.
You will get through this. You will be safe. You will stay in faith. 

As I began the healing process and learned to add forgiveness to my life, I began to write through my pain and started workshops to help women all across the country stand up and take notice of their life. I also created meditations through my prayers that are now helping thousands of women overcome these struggles in their own lives. Silence can only work against you and not for you. Being at war with your heart, and feeling those deep wounds that no one can reach, because you decided to stay silent is not the way you want to live your life.

This is your love and happiness your compromising. Never forget who you are in any circumstance, most of all never let anyone control the love you have in your heart. 


It's time to begin and join thousands of women who have changed their lives with my "Personalized Meditations," that is created for your own personal circumstances.

These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. 

These Meditations will help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

Start today and live the life you deserve, click the link at the bottom of the picture.
You can also leave me a message, with your contact information and the best time to reach you and I will guide you through the process.

I'm thankful and grateful every day that I can share this with you. For the good times and for the bad times, they have brought me to where I'm today.



Click the Link at the bottom of the picture



                                        https://coffeewithamilia.com


Be blessed, I look forward to hearing from you. Amilia Powers
                                                        




                                          coffeewithamilia@gmail.com


Check out my book, "PAIN BEHIND BROKEN VASES" 
                                 www.valueurself.com



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Monday, June 1, 2020

How Dangerous Is a Narcissist?


Never underestimate a Narcissist




I'm happy you are here with me. Dealing with a narcissist is very dangerous. This is a subject that is painful on so many levels. Confusion is the best word to describe the darkness that sets in. It feels as if you are in a fog in the night air, with no end in sight. 

You try and try to find a reason why someone you love would want to hurt you so bad. Not only cause you pain but want to destroy you. You've done everything in your heart to show them repeatedly in so many different ways you love them. Just to get shot down every time. Nothing you do is good enough. You are lost for words and all you have left from the agony is a blackened heart with nothing left give. You're exhausted. He has depleted all of your energy.  

We must understand the reality to a narcissist. Boundaries do not exist. They will always treat you as if they have the right to control you and push you around. To a narcissist, your dreams do not matter, your ideas will not be heard. They do not care about your feelings. He will drive his power right through you. 

If you think for one minute that you are the only one he will control, you are highly mistaken. No one is off limits. They will go as far as destroying your family and friends and your relationship with them, and turn it around and blame you for everything that happened. Pure evil. Very Dangerous and unpredictable. Being cautious is all you knew, you must reach out for help. 

The truth is, we as rational normal people and understand what lines to cross and not hurt others viciously and intentionally because we are aware of other peoples feelings. We know respectfully when to back off. Causing harm is not in our vocabulary. 

Unfortunately, the narcissist has no concept of these lines. In their demented mind, you have no right to exist in their world of make-believe. They will never understand how you can be so caring and loving and be genuine with your life. You give naturally without any motives. A narcissist doesn't play by these rules. They literally hate you for this and want you in pain. Which puts you in a very dangerous position. 

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman who found her way through her darkest hour. I never gave up hope. I never gave up on me. I will never give up on you.

I knew I didn't deserve a life of pain. I wanted my smile back, I wanted to hear myself laugh something I haven't done in so long. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it was a must to get away from him and never look back. I knew that the challenges I will be facing is just an obstacle towards freedom of torment and misery he put me through. This was worth getting out. The only words that came out of my mouth were "bring in on. I got the Lord by my side."

Having love in our lives is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. 

I have added to my coaching practices, back by popular demand "Personalized Meditations."
For more information, click the link below. This helped women all across the country, rise beyond their pain and struggles. 


Have a blessed day
Amilia Powers

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

When Does The Pain End?--Narcissist Abuse


FREEDOM FROM ABUSE 



 I would like to start by saying that it is natural to be uncertain when the pain will end. When an abusive relationship comes to close, it brings a major shift in our thoughts and feelings. So much to adjust to. We are kicked off balance, that knowing what to do first becomes difficult and messy.

Many things to do and our heart is doing loops trying it's hardest to stay together because we have work and children we need to be strong. All you can say to yourself is what happened in my life. There is no one around, you spent all your time with your abuser, he made you feel that there isn't anyone who will ever care for you as much he has. Your negative thoughts rush through your head hour after hour.

You're watching the clock hoping and wishing that a call will come in so you can get some type of closure to the pain you are feeling. The most important thing to understand is that it's ok to feel this way. 

What you don't realize is that the moment the abuser left your life, is when that very instant your healing began. The feelings that you are having is the first part of the rest of your life.
You might not understand right away the term of events that took place, because you have done everything you could to keep him happy and your entire self and energy were being attentive to his every whim. 

At the same time, you should feel the burden removed from your life. The darkness around your heart lifted, the air in your home is fresher. As you look around you don't see any more pain.You don't feel anymore anxiety of him coming through the front door. You are no longer afraid of what could happen next when his car pulls into the driveway, or most importantly what hurtful messages will come out of his mouth that will cause you to have sleepless nights. 

Begin to feel the joy of his absence. Start embracing your freedom from abuse. Connect to your family and friends, continue to throwout the remense that was left behind of his rath. Take time for your self by reaching out to talk about what transpired and get it out of your heart. You probably held it in for so long it is time to get rid of it. 

Be around supportive and understanding people. Hug your loved ones and open up to their warmth and kindness. The more you surround yourself with comfort, you will begin to gain courage and become stronger to handle all tasks that are ahead. It will help you break through any confusion you  have left. The blame game you have been throwing around in your mind. As time goes by your negative feelings will lessen. With your strong support, the pain that you once felt will be called a memory. 

Where ever you begin. Pursue peace and joy. Please Please, remember what happened in your life and never allow him to come back and never let anyone hurt, pain, or abuse you in any way ever again. The first curse, the first slap, the first sign of disrespect is more than you will put up with. 

There is nothing more powerful than a woman who puts her foot down, and takes a stand for her life and value.


Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.
You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.
Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time 
to reach you.

Learn more about me
by visiting my websites:

www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com


Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com



#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship #narcissist #narcissism 
#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse 







Friday, May 15, 2020

Novelty Seeking Narcissist--How to Deal




NOVELTY SEEKERS




It's unfortunate that there are people like this in our society. Men who stifle the joy out of our hearts. Trust gives us the ability to believe in a person. It builds strength in our relationships forever. It's an unbreakable bond.

Men who chase you with everything they have and profess their love to you with all the right words and actions. Who could resist the joy and happiness it brings into our life?

The first date with flowers and laughs, holding hands. How can you not fall for a man who is treating you like all the fairytales you read since you were a child? It seems too good to be true, and you're immediately smitten by him. 

He is enjoying the excitement just as much as you. Warm kisses, long nights and dinners together, you feel this must be the one. He is chasing you, and you love the attention it has brought to your heart. All you can think about or feel is a man who really likes you and loves being with you. 

Although, there is a twist to this love story that you didn't see coming. These Narcissists Novelty Seekers are not in it for the long run. They get bored rather quickly. Then it happens, tables turn on you all of a sudden and you find yourself trying to figure out what you did wrong. You begin to chase him, texts, calls. You might even stop at his place to try to understand why he lost interest. 

He locked your mind and energy into thinking that there might be a chance of forever. But all he wants is a good time until he finds someone else. You don't understand at this point why this is happening because you are so involved and wrapped up with your feelings. You are not reading the writing on the wall. He is creating a circle of women so he can recycle them when he needs to. Each one of you hoping and wishing you would get picked. 

He withdrew and backed up from seeing you. Not interested in the relationship at all. The only thing that brought him excitement was the chase which he already concurred what he needed from you and there was nothing left for him. He knows you are stuck in disbelief he will text and call if he is bored or wants to get together. You still feel that when you receive his text, that there still might be a chance with him. Heart struck on the first date, In your mind, you can not let go. You become drawn into his supply.  

Sometimes, we get lost in the happy moments of our relationship to the extent we forget all the unhappiness it brings us. If you feel your situation is leaving you more frustrated and unhappy more often than not; if your relationship has you in tears and sleepless nights, perhaps this is not a person you need to devote all your energy and joy too. If the main source of your happiness is the first time you met, it is not enough to sustain love with this person. 

We must remember our relationships exist in the present moments. Not a distant memory. It's not a reason to stay together. The decision you make on whether or not to stay with this person should be based on your current situation. You should know exactly where you are and how you feel and what you need to do.


I can tell you what I think you should do...

I can tell you this..You will not be at his beck and call and run every time he asks. They will try everything possible to get your attention to a meeting, no response is your answer. You will not put up with him treating you with disrespect and total disregard. You will not play second fiddle to anyone and allow your heart to be torn apart.

A narcissist loves to keep you on your toes, it's what they know how to do best. They don't want you to feel secure with yourself and safe in the relationship. It makes them feel wonderful inside when you feel insecure they get a sense of enraged power as if they can do anything to you and you will do nothing in return.

You will not continue to move in their direction because if you do, you will find yourself with your back against the wall and nowhere to turn..

They have given you an option and showed you what life is like with them. It's up to you to either release them from your life or continue on the path for destruction??


WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO??


Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.
Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time 
to reach you.

Learn more about me
by visiting my websites:

www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com


Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com



#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship #narcissist #narcissism 
#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse