Sunday, December 30, 2018

I NEED HELP TO LOOK PAST THE PAIN--Reminisce of a Narcissist




HOW DO I MOVE FORWARD FROM A BREAKUP??






We have two days before The New Year is here. So much to do. 
I get several emails per-day, asking me how do I get rid of the thoughts of my ex-boyfriend, ex-husband...etc..?
This is a very important question. Getting rid of thoughts of your ex, vs making those thoughts less powerful in your mind are two different things. In order to lessen the focus, I have a few suggestions.

#1. Let's begin to unclutter those thoughts.

Walk around your home, and look to see what you have. Do you have pictures, that keep you up all night? Do you have items that he gave to you, that turn your stomach into knots?
The biggest thing, that woman do not like to part with is clothing and jewelry. It is time to begin to unclutter your feelings. Keeping things around that remind you of hurt and pain is not going to do you any justice. Do you really need that shirt, pants or purse? These Items can be replaced. You were able to buy these things before he entered into your life, and you can get them now. It doesn't make you feel any better every time you reach into your bag and have to remember the hurt you endured. I recommend you do this gently, and when you are ready, if you can give away, one item a day, you will lighten up your heart.

#2. Stop talking about your EX with friends and family.

Don't bring him up in conversation, and don't invite chatter from anyone. This will help you become stronger with your present life. You will be able to enjoy new things, make fresh memories, and bring back your smile, the laugh that you didn't have for some time. If you have people in your life that will not stop gossiping and keep bringing him up, then you need to distance them from your life. I know this is hard to do, but you can do it. Even people who communicate with him you should stop further involvement with. If it has nothing to do with business or your family then keep conversations directed to the reason for the call. People must learn to respect your wishes. It's unfortunate that we have to teach them to do so.  If they love you they would do this for you, knowing the difficulty. The less Chit Chat you hear of him the better you will feel.
There are other things happening in our lives, that we can talk about. It doesn't have to relate to our past. 
Contact me at www.coffeewithamilia.com
You don't have to do this alone.
Have a blessed day. I have many posts right here that will help you. Please go through them.
Amilia Powers
Click the link below. I have an ebook you should pick up for this particular situation, it will guide you, and prepare you for the things you must do to begin living the life you are created to live.


Begin today and apologize to yourself for everything that has happened to you. Keep your faith close and God first. I wish you an incredible start to the New Year. I look forward to hearing from you.
Amilia





Friday, December 21, 2018

When a Narcissist Forgets--Painful Behaviors



What A Narcissist Leaves Behind





In my relationship with a narcissist, the most painful issue I encountered was, he would never remember what he said or did to me the day after or even the day of his rage. Whenever I would bring up how I was treated, the answer I would get was "I'm out of my mind." He acted as if he didn't know what I was referring to. A big puzzled look on his face, as if he was struck with Amnesia.

Has anyone ever received this nonchalant attitude from a narcissistic partner? It's more painful than being cursed at in public. At least out in the world he is showing what kind of coward he is. But behind closed doors, my heart is being torn in two.

A man trying so hard with his manipulation and his campaign to make me believe that I'm overreacting or unstable, doing the best that a narcissist can do to create doubt in my mind. He wouldn't let me speak a word when his bullying took over. Believing that his hurtful behavior was brought on by me. That I was the creator of my own pain. Being with him for quite some time I realized he fed his strength through chaos and violence. His inner demon was being fulfilled. He was his healthiest during conflict.

As time went by I did the best I could to hold myself together. I knew in my heart and through my faith, I would get through this. I did what I could to arm myself with knowledge. I gathered information I needed from professionals, I asked many questions and found guidance to walk me through an emotional roller coaster by staying focused. By acknowledging the games that were played and I started not to entertain in his made up arguments or give him the attention that a narcissist craves. In order to stop this roller coaster ride, I needed to stop it myself. I was exhausted and wanted my life back. I knew by doing this, he will eventually leave, I would be no use to him. He would begin to round up his next partner, someone who would give him the attention he needs as a lifeline, someone who would listen to nonsense, and his cry as a victim.

Now, don't think for one minute this was easy at all. He didn't leave without causing a dramatic exit. There were many pieces to pick up after he left. Relationships with family and close friends that I had to rekindle with. There wasn't anything that he didn't try to destroy. There is only one thing that he could not touch is my faith. The power that led me through my pain. No matter how many times he called and tried to talk. I made sure the door was shut forever. Don't be played by his apologies. They mean nothing. There isn't one thing this man could say to me to allow him back into my life. Nothing.

If you are in a relationship like this, or recently out of your relationship. NO CONTACT is what I would prescribe for you. No contact should be your number one priority. When you finally have no fear of the narcissist, you will diffuse their power to conflict any more abuse to you. If you have children, and can't apply no contact with your abusive partner? Use the Gray Rock Method instead. Please take a few minutes and look this up.

STAY AWAY ANY WAY YOU CAN.

The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy.

You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you. You are not alone. I will answer any questions you may have.
Contact me at amiliapowers@gmail.com or visit my website www.coffeewithamilia.com

I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you with this situation, these were my prayers turned into meditations, that are now helping thousands of women like yourself, live the life they were created to live.

These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. Help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

You can get more information, by clicking on the link below.

https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s








Be blessed,

I look forward to speaking with you.

We will continue our conversation on Sunday

Amilia Powers


#freespiritwoman #lifecoach#spiritualcoach #coach #spirituality
#enlightenment #truth#healingmeditation #valueurself #intuitive
#meditate #awakening #mindset #quotestoliveby #wordstoliveby #positivity 
#womenempoweringwomen #guidance #wellness #realtalk #success
#motivation #inspiration #healingwomen #vintage #antique #oprah 
#oprahsbookclub 















Monday, December 10, 2018

Suffering Through Our Silence--How it Hurts


THE REASONS WE STAY QUIET




As a young girl growing up in a European Environment. We are consistently told to be seen and not heard. Our duties were to help our mothers run the household, by cleaning, cooking and doing other chores to keep things properly maintained, and in order. While the men of the house handled the financial end of caring for the family.

There were days when life was extremely difficult. The arguments and fighting were so unbearable, I found myself in my room under the covers that were on my bed, trying really hard to block out or muffle all the noise. Wishing for it all to stop.  


I wanted so much to have the nerve to say something anything at all to stop what was happening, but I was too afraid. I thought to myself, why isn't my mother speaking up. Why isn't she standing up for herself? 


As time went on and I got older. One morning I had the nerve, and ask her that very question. Why don't you stand up for your self? The answer that I received made me very upset with her. She told me she didn't want to discuss these things with me and to be quiet and go to school. As I walked out of the house that day, I looked back and wished I could help her, and make all of this go away. I had such torn feelings in my stomach. As if my heart was ripped in two.

I was mad at my father, hated what he was doing. All I could think about was, this is the man I looked up to and loved who is causing this hurt, and pain, and at the same time, I was saddened for my mom because she didn't have the courage to stand up for her self, and continued to stay silent.

I wanted to speak to someone, anyone but I could hear my fathers voice in my ear, "whatever happens in the house, stays in the house." I didn't want to be the one to tear my family apart. I know my mother loved him and adored him, I realized that she is the one who would have to take that step.

The time came I finished school, and I began to enter into the business world to start making my own income. I found myself carrying that burden of silence around with me everywhere I went. It was like a bag strapped to my waist. I found myself being more and more like my mother every day. "Silent"

There were people at work and in my day to day encounter, that pushed me around, spoke down to me and took advantage of my good will. I didn't have the courage to speak up and tell them that I don't deserve to be treated like this. I allowed this to happen. There were times I would arrive home from work, so mad at myself for not saying a word, it reminded me of the conversation I had with my mother.

Days turned into months then years. Nothing changed at home, and it seemed nothing changed in my life, but I met a man. He was wonderful and treated me the way every girl dreams of being treated. I mistook that for amazing love and unfortunately, it turned into torment and pain. My fear of letting go consumed me. I loved him and wanted it to work. I didn't want to tell my parents, I knew they wouldn't understand, because of the way they lived their life. I actually stayed silent for a long time and put on this dreadful appearance that my life was perfect.

I struggled with my heart. I knew things needed to change. There was no more love left in my being to give to this man. The unkindness, the ruthless energy he put out was destructive and dismantled any feelings in our household. Everyone was under attack and we never knew when he was going to strike. We were all on the defensive.

I wanted him to go where ever he needed to go and become someone else's problem and not mine. But then again, I couldn't wish this on anyone. The days and nights blended together. It was uncomfortable being in my own home. A place where you can lay your head down and rest became a home without peace and love. No joy rained upon me, no happiness came near. Like a house in the desert with nothing around for miles. It became a very lonely dwelling. I had one thing I knew he could never take away was my faith in the Lord. I prayed day in and day out for guidance. I knew he had my back. I knew this isn't the life he wanted for me.

I was so grateful and thankful when the relationship finally ended. No words can adequately describe the liberation I felt. I was instantly freed, no longer thinking about what had been. I never looked back. I was so inspired not to let this happen to anyone. I refuse to let a woman wait as long as I did to change her life. No one deserves to be treated this way.

I began to write and held workshops to help women all across the country stand up and take notice of their life. I also created meditations through my prayers that are now helping thousands of women overcome these struggles in their own lives. Silence can only work against you and not for you. Being at war with your heart, and feeling those deep wounds that no one can reach, because you decided to stay silent is not the way you want to live your life.

Your life can change. I'm proof that you can find someone that will love and cherish you and treat you the way you are supposed to be treated. It took some time. I wasn't in any rush. I worked on me and became stronger, healthier and more excited about life than I ever was. I drew in people that are doing amazing things in the world. There is nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and smiling and has her voice. You will find yourself surrounded by joy and love.

I'm thankful and grateful everyday. For the good times and for the bad times, they have brought me to where I'm today.

Be Blessed.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you. You are not alone. I will answer any questions you may have

Contact me at amiliapowers@gmail.com or visit my website www.valueurself.com


I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you through this situation, these were my prayers turned into meditations.

These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. Help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.


For more information, click on the link below.


https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s






I have created a special addition to my meditation practices. It is back from popular demand. It is "Personalized Meditations." 

Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems.  We are excited to share this with you:


For more information about this, click the link below.



The biggest myth is people believing that they cannot shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the Meditation is personalized, you tune right into your life and solution. There isn't any sound that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.



https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations


Be blessed,

I look forward to speaking with you.

Leave me a message, and the best time to reach you.

Amilia Powers

  



Sunday, December 2, 2018

When a Picture Hides the Truth--When Your Smile Hurts


"A Picture Says A Thousand Words"





Have you ever heard that saying? What does your picture say about you? Look into the lens. 

I received an email from a woman who is very hurt by the way she is treated in her relationship. 
All around her, there are couples who are in love with each other and do special things for one another. She wonders what that would feel like, to have someone really love her and make her feel amazing.

Her relationship is full of pain and upset. So much cursing and chaos. She is young and wants to be loved. At least a good morning would be nice. The simplest of words seem to never happen.

She told me about coming home from work, and never being acknowledged. He doesn't ask her how her day went or show some kindness when she arrives home. 

She has children, and they run to her with open arms, and that's her salvation, the love she receives from the kids can't be explained, she goes on to say. The unfortunate part of this entire relationship is that the children are treated the same when they are with him, and there isn't anything she could do to stop him from being mean.

It's funny when she is at a party with her husband or anywhere for that matter, and friends or family ask her to take a picture with him she has to force herself to smile. If the camera had a microscope attached. It would show an image that you can not see with the naked eye. It would reveal her sadness and dismay, and what the color of her heart really is, unfortunately, filled with darkness and at times the color can't be identified.

When she met her future husband she was in love. She thought it would be forever. She never once sat down and thought he would treat her with such disrespect or unkindness. The controlling factor to all of this is the worst part. Very demeaning and critical about everything she does.

At this time we are now talking on the phone. She needed someone to hear her voice and her hurt. She told me that she has hopes and dreams. That she is very creative and would love to start her own business but her husband puts down her thoughts. 

He is obviously a bully. The essential need to control may be caused by his childhood. He could have been hurt, abused not cared about or hard to handle and brushed to the side by his parents. Whatever underlying factors there is, he has to want to get help and recognize that he is destroying his relationship with his behavior. Therefore it becomes overwhelming and exhausting and the quality of life diminishes. 

Without getting the help he needs from professionals, the only resource for his family is to eventually leave. No one has the right to treat anyone this way. He must take responsibility for his own actions, and come to an agreement with himself to seek help. 

I told her not to quit working on yourself. We spoke about the importance to stay strong and focused, not only for herself but for her family. She understands that his behavior stems from him. Which is very crucial for taking steps to resolve the problem or making a plan. She has her faith, which we spoke about in length, which helped her overcome many obstacles. 

We discussed Meditations and the importance to look beyond what her eyes can see. Focus on her life and her future. Focus on resolution and peace, love with all your might, and never lose faith and hope. Your journey is far from over. 

Please don't forget you hold the power over your own life. No one has the right to harm, or mistreat you. Continue being an amazing woman, never give up on your dreams and your passion. Those are your gifts, and no one can take them away from you. God gave them to you. Your name is on it. 
She and I will stay in touch through this process. 

When we are going through a situation that is draining we must seek help to find the answers. Believe it or not, we hold those answers to our questions. They are found deep within ourselves. It's imperative to find a peaceful place, and sit calmly and listen closely for the answers.

It's time to begin and join thousands of women who have changed their lives with my "Personalized Meditations," that is created for your own personal circumstances.


These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. 

These Meditations will help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

Start today and live the life you deserve, click the link at the bottom of the picture.
You can also leave me a message, with your contact information and the best time to reach you and I will guide you through the process.




                                                https://coffeewithamilia.com

I look forward to hearing from you, leave me a message. Stay in touch.

Be blessed
Amilia




#freespiritwoman #lifecoach #spiritualcoach #coach #spirituality
#enlightenment #truth #healingmeditation #valueurself #intuitive
#meditate #awakening #mindset #quotestoliveby #wordstoliveby #positivity 
#womenempoweringwomen #guidance #wellness #realtalk #success
#motivation #inspiration #healingwomen #vintage #antique #oprah 
#oprahsbookclub #coffeewithamilia











Monday, November 26, 2018

I Miss My Laugh Lord--I Need Your Help to Heal


Lord, I Need Courage






Did you ever hear the saying "laughing is the best medicine."
Being around family and good friends keeps us smiling. The memories we create in these moments last a lifetime.
Was there ever a time, when you are sitting and thinking about that wonderful day you had with a friend or at a party, and you caught yourself smiling? It was as if you were there all over again. 
This feeling is the most incredible feeling you can ever have. Happiness is something you have that no one can ever take away. 
I know what you are thinking. How can I be happy in this painful relationship? You can, the most incredible thing about this feeling is you can activate it any time you wish. You have complete control over that dial. You can move the volume up or down. Your laughter can be heard for miles or quietly in your heart. 
I remember once through my storm, I had to learn to smile all over again. This was the one thing I loved doing the most. It was the most difficult period in my life, I had someone rip the joy out of my life. 
I knew I wasn't an unhappy person. I was just in a bad situation, with the wrong person. I knew I could laugh and smile because I've done it. I know how that feels, and I know what it's like to have joy in my life. I knew it was a part of me.

One evening I sat silently and prayed. I closed my eyes and looked at the picture of my life. I saw what it really would look like without the tears. I knew this wasn't love I was living. I knew changes needed to be made. I knew I wanted to laugh and enjoy my family, friends, and live a life beyond pain and hurt. I felt I was living in darkness with no end in sight. 
I knew in order to have balance, I had to acknowledge I held the controls no matter what is happening in my life. Knowing that I carried my joy in my heart and wanted to change my situation gave me the courage to want to continue moving towards it. 
Never forget who you are in any circumstance, most of all never let anyone control the love you have in your heart, and never give up wanting to live the life you were created to live.

Begin today and make this change. Laugh, and Smile embrace life's goodness. 
This changed my entire life. It can change yours.
If you're stuck, join thousands of women like yourself who have changed their life with my personalized meditations created for your specific circumstances.
For more information, click the link below: I have also created a series of (4)Four Mp3's as well.

The biggest Myth here is people thinking that they can't shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a secret. When the Meditation is personalized, you tune right into your life and solution. There isn't any sound that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have. I'm proof of this.

My Mp3's were created from a place of discomfort and as I wrote them, I found myself walking through my pain and surrendering my sorrow. As time continued I became stronger and better equipped to handle the days ahead. I believe in this. I have helped women from all walks of life find joy again, their smile and laugh that they thought was lost.

Your only a click away. Get Started now.


Check out my Personalized Meditations by clicking the link below this Picture.




https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations




Your time starts now. 
Contact me for a free consultation at amiliapowers@gmail.com 
Let's do this
Be blessed
Amilia
www.valueurself.com


#coffeewithamilia #amiliapowers

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THE PAIN--HEARTACHE


No one knows how it feels, to go through this pain






I have women emailing me all the time about people in their lives trying to tell them how they should feel and what they should do about their situation and have no clue what it's like to be hurt by someone they love. Yes, I get this very well. It is very difficult to take advice from someone who doesn't understand the depth of your pain because they have never had to deal with it, but they seem to be experts in the field.

The unfortunate part of this we begin to get frustrated and misunderstood. Now you start to believe that its something you've done. Not only do you have your own situation to focus on, and you're trying your hardest to figure out the next steps you need to take, you have other people in the mix, which has caused more confusion, and are making matters worse for you. You feel you should have just kept things to yourself.

Eventually, what happens here, we let go of the need to explain our selves and our situation with others. We pull back and stay alone in thought, and try to figure things out on our own and wish we had some support. But the last thing we need is to get into a disagreement or argument over what is happening in our life. Because someone feels they know more about it then you do.

I found myself always on the defensive. Too many questions about why.

1. Why did you let your situation go so far?

2. Why didn't you call for help?

3. Why did you allow him to hurt you?

4. Why didn't you stand up for yourself?

These questions obviously came from people who have absolutely no right to ask them. Why you might ask because they weren't living my life or your life. They don't understand the circumstances. Did you ever hear that saying? "You will never understand until it happens to you" This saying holds merit.

We really didn't need people telling us everything is fine now, or this will pass or you'll get over it. Ect...

What we were looking for or still are seeking is understanding, compassion, and support. While we figure things out and collect our lives and begin to put the pieces back together that are scattered like confetti everywhere we turn.

By telling someone, you should have done this or that would make them feel like a failure, they would begin to second guess themselves. No, advise here not needed. This person needs encouragement and someone to listen.

Don't judge, no one deserves to be judged going through a difficult time. If they cry they need to get it out. That's not a sign of weakness, this is something that needs to take place, all apart of the healing process. If they don't look as if they are put together, keep your comments to yourself. They will get better without your foolish remarks.

You obviously do not know what someone is going through, so have some compassion, and reassure them that they are not alone. Getting out of bed is the most difficult task in many cases. They are most likely facing many challenges ahead.

Everyone has there own stuff, is that fair to say? We are still responsible for how we treat others. Many situations take longer for most people to even understand. Healing is endless. Things will come up in their daily lives, such as memories, thoughts of pain and hurt that will bring sorrow. Like a replay button that doesn't stop. It turns the emotional gauge higher and lower depending on the day. As time goes on it becomes lighter and easier to deal with. Until then. Love

Love them and show support all the time. Share joy and kindness. This is the most effective way that a person who is broken will feel the most supported. Did you ever hear the saying?
"love conquers all"

Remember a very important golden role: "We Rise By Helping Others"


We are stronger together. Strength runs in numbers.

Click the link below, and live the life you are created to live. 





If you are stuck, join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my "Personalize Meditations"

I have created a special addition to my meditation practices. It is back from popular demand. It is "Personalized Meditations" Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems. 

We are excited to share this with you, start today.


https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations

The biggest myth is people believing to not shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the meditation is personalized you tune right into your life and solution.

There isn't any sound or noise that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.

Be blessed,
I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message and the best time to reach you.
I will guide you through the process
Amilia
amiliapowers@gmail.com


#inspired #healing #healingthebrokenhearted #inspirations #motivational #howdoiforgive #InspirationalWomen #quotestoliveby #growyourbusiness #careerwoman #valueurself #femaleentrepreneur #entrepreneur #femaleentrepreneurs #myownboss #womensupportingwomen #bosschick #womenstyle #womenstuff #womeninspiringwomen