Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Jealous Traits of an Narcissist--Painful






People talk about jealousy and narcissism being the same thing. A narcissist has jealousy traits. The difference is, once jealousy crosses the line, and the person becomes abusive and controlling he/she falls in the category of a narcissist. A healthy form of jealousy a partner would say something to this effect. “I saw that person looking at you” in a fun playful manner. Both of you would laugh, and then brush it off, as if it was no big deal. This in return would make you feel special and appreciated that your boyfriend took notice.

Unhealthy forms of jealousy can spin out of control by the person, needing you to spend every moment with only them. If they don't get their way, it can throw you off course, with cursing and foul comments. If the relationship becomes emotionally abusive, and the person becomes more aggressive and physical, now you are swimming into the narcissistic territory. This is true no matter how we try to spin these relationships. Both are unhealthy relationships. The common denominator is they both like to have control, and I highly suggest you stay away from them.

During courtship, neither of these situations seem bad. Fun loving, and joyous. Once the person finds your weakness and feels you have fallen for them, they will show you another side of themselves that you didn't know was there. 

We all wish for a loving relationship, but we have a responsibility to ourselves to be well aware of what is happening in your life. In other words, you have to be careful with a sudden change in your relationship. Once you notice this change, boundaries need to be set immediately, so the other person has no control over your life. Please do not make excuses for their bad behavior.

In the meantime, a narcissist does not like being alone. They will do what they can to escape being by themselves. They will seem to understand your position, but still, continue to try to control you. They will do anything and everything for you to put your guard down. Please be aware of this, especially if it happens on a regular basis. When you decide to give in to their ego, it will happen in an instant. You will not have any control over what is going on. You will notice the change in you. They will have you where they want you. Their behavior and language will start to change. You will begin to do everything they ask. You will start second-guessing your feelings, and even your strengths. Their comments will make you feel horrible about your appearance. You will notice yourself being careful about what you say, so it doesn't cause an argument. Nothing that you do will be right. They will find something wrong with it. It’s hard for a narcissist to give anyone else praise, but themselves. Their lack of self-confidence requires they need you on the same level.

If you are still in this relationship, which I hope you are not, have you noticed that you are being separated from your family and friends? The narcissist will do everything they can to keep you busy, right where he can see you. He needs to have you in sight.
Isolation is a big part of who they are, and one of their pervasive strategies.

The narcissist feels threatened if you are improving yourself. Especially if you are happy with what you are doing. They will see you as competition, they do not want you to live out your dreams, and passions. To a narcissist, you would have the upper hand and be a show-off. This is unacceptable in their dysfunctional sort of way.

Jealousy is another threat. All of us use social media, in one form or another. Be aware when he consistently is looking and tracking your activity and your whereabouts. I said this previously, “they do not like being alone.” If they see you are connecting with others from the opposite sex, it’s a threat, and this will cause a fight, and make you feel bad about what you are doing. They will manipulate you into thinking you are hurting their feelings, even if you are talking to a close friend. This will show you how controlling they really are. This goes beyond being jealous. You are not alone, and please reach out for help if you are in this circumstance.

Now that you are separated from your family and friends, the narcissist has you where he wants you. This is where the abuse sets in. They are comfortable enough, to be physically abusive on occasion, and he knows you won't do anything to get him in trouble. He knows you have no one to turn to. Everyone in your life thinks you are happy because you didn't give them any reason to think otherwise. You couldn't reach out to anyone without the narcissist knowing. You can't express your feelings. If you are hurt in any way, please get help.

I would like to tell you about myself. I was in a relationship with a narcissist. I endured everything I have written about here and more. I'm letting you know that it wasn't easy to get my life back. I would like you to please look deep within yourself, and not stay in your particular situation, and please reach out to whomever you have to for help. With a narcissist, it usually ends up with a violent break-up. He always has another person on the side after their dramatic exit. He won’t be in your life for long. You can stop the pain and the torment. I thought I couldn't turn to anyone, becausewas told that there would be no one to help me.

From my experience, I gained strength with the help of others. It’s very important to ask for assistance, and guidance so you can gain the strength, and the ability to once again believe in yourself, and that you will be all right.



If you found a bit of you in this story, please do not wait another minute. You must reach out. You must let your family and friends know what is happening in your life. A direction is difficult alone. There is too much confusion. You can do this. Do it now. 

The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy.


You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute.


If this relationship sounds familiar and you need help picking up the pieces. Join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my help. Visit me at www.coffeewithamilia.com 



Be Blessed
Amilia

Friday, January 25, 2019

Why Do We Stay With A Narcissist?




THE NUMBER ONE REASON WE STAY WITH A NARCISSIST





This is not an easy place to be. Before getting myself in a poisonous relationship I had a great job, many friends, and was happy and grateful about every aspect of life. My life was anything but perfect, but I had wonderful people around me and a family that loves me. 

Then that time came. The day when I thought I met my one and only. When my life changed in an instant. A transition from a peaceful life, to destructive overnight. 

Our relationship at first was loving and caring, understanding. Until days of sunshine turned into darkness very fast. I was totally a wreck. I couldn't concentrate. My thoughts were in disarray, and my stomach was in knots. I really loved him. 

This sounds crazy, but I can't find myself being without him. I don't know what is happening to me. When we are together we laugh and have fun, and then the unthinkable happens and he rips my heart out. He mistreats me and calls me names and is very abusive at times.

I want to leave, but I know that we will have fun again, and that's what I'm connected to... the moments of joy and happiness. This life I'm living is very draining to me. It has injected self-doubt into my veins. I feel I'm at war every day. There are days I can't shake off all the painful words. I begin to wonder where I am.

When the apologizes come through his voice in that manipulating kind of tone, I know he is lying. Somehow he's able to release the emotional feelings that bond me to him, and he guilts me into one more time.

Ladies guilt is the number one thing that kept me around as long as I did. Does any of this sound like your life? The cruel and punishing way he poked and prodded my heart. Statements such as; "you can't leave me, I don't know what to do, you know I love you, what is going to happen to me if we break up, how could you do this to us after what we've gone through, doesn't our love mean anything to you?"

Who has heard these words?

While he is using every tactic in his mind, you have walked right into his web. He has bonded you to him emotionally. Your question is how do I break away from this torture? No more questioning your sanity.

STAY AWAY ANY WAY YOU CAN.

The cost of staying in a relationship without value
becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy.

You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated 
with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect.
Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you. 

You are not alone. I will answer any questions you may have. Contact me at amiliapowers@gmail.com or visit my website www.coffeewithamilia.com

I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can 
help you with this situation, these were my prayers turned into meditations, that is now helping thousands of women like yourself, live the life they are created to live.

These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. Help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

You can get more information, by clicking on the link below.


Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.

Amilia Powers






Friday, January 18, 2019

Surviving The Silent Treatment Of A Narcissist



BEING IGNORED





Silence to a narcissist is a powerful weapon. It is used in the form of punishment; such as emotional abuse, manipulation and can cause fear and anxiety to their victims. The torture may last days or even weeks.

By this time if we haven't figured out their game, they have figured out our weakness. They have pressed us for as much information as needed so they can turn it against us. The narcissist has us actually where they want us. We begin to doubt ourselves. We start to wonder what have we done to cause the person that we love to treat us this way? Our minds wonder what could we do better so it can go back the way it was. The questions to ourselves become endless.

These are tricks they play with our minds to have full control over us. We begin to give them all of our attention. We hand them our entire life without even realizing what we are doing. The most difficult part we have created is that we are dealing with this alone. We have given all of our energy and our love to one person that we have isolated ourselves from our life. No friends, no family no one. We are now officially dancing with the devil.

It's crazy right, to love someone who causes you pain? You know what's even more unthinkable? Thinking that someone who torments you loves you.

I was in this relationship. The silence was deafening at times, but my other senses tuned right in. I realized how much peace I had in my heart and how clear my thoughts were, not listening to the cursing and yelling and the belittling hour after hour, day and night. I began to see what life was like without the sound of his voice. I started to understand where I stood in the relationship and what kind of love I really wanted. Having that time of peace worked for me and not against me. It taught me so much about myself. I was so engulfed in the threats, that I forgot about the life I had.

The silence he created revealed to me a life I was created live. I didn't play into his foolish games any longer. I didn't allow him to disrupt my peace, I freed myself of the victim way of thinking, and pushed my strength to all new heights. He obviously didn't want a warrior in his life, he needed someone to beg for mercy, to be at his beck and call. He wanted me to give him all of my time and to be afraid to speak. The shift actually scared him. The narcissist new what he was dealing with and didn't like me standing up for myself, and taking back control of my life.

I created the worst nightmare for a narcissist. He lost control, and didn't know what to do with himself, but instead become a demon and tried to cause destruction before his exit. Nothing worked on me. I was free and that's all that mattered.  My stress, pain, and hurt all went with him. I never turned back and I never cared where he went or what he does. Never looked him up again. I was free and that's all I needed. No contact forever.

It took some time. I worked on me and became stronger, healthier and more excited about life than I ever was. I drew in people that are doing amazing things in the world. There is nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and smiling and has her voice. You will find yourself surrounded by joy and love. I'm thankful and grateful every day, for the good times and for the bad times they have brought me to where I'm today.



You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you. 
I will answer any questions you may have

Contact me at amiliapowers@gmail.com or visit my website www.coffeewithamilia.com


I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you through this situation, these were my prayers turned into meditations.

These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone, help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.


For more information, click on the link below.


https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s




I have created a special addition to my meditation practices. It is back from popular demand. It is "Personalized Meditations." 

Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems.  We are excited to share this with you:


For more information about this, click the link below.



The biggest myth is people believing that they cannot shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the Meditation is personalized, you tune right into your life and solution. There isn't any sound that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.



https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations


Be blessed,

I look forward to speaking with you.

Leave me a message, and the best time to reach you.

Amilia Powers



#coffeewithamilia #valueurself #amiliapowers

Sunday, January 13, 2019

One Very Important Fact About A Narcissist--Painful Heart


What I learned





Misery loves company is what the narcissist stand by, that's their "Golden Rule". They are incapable of feeling joy the way you do. It's impossible for the narcissist to understand why and what makes you happy. If it is not about them, nothing makes any sense to a narcissist. The question resonates in their mind. "How can this be happening?" 
They are unwilling to think about your needs. They lack insight into your emotions. The narcissist believes you should feel the same way they feel. Staying with them will drain your happiness, you will no longer feel whole. The only choice you will have is to live for them and only them. Give up any thoughts you may have of changing them, making things better by giving up more of yourself to satisfy their needs. 
Don't expect them to be happy for you when you do well. They will never praise your successes to anyone. This makes them feel very insecure about themselves and they will blame you and tell you that it's your fault they feel terrible. You will never get a narcissists approval to live your best self. You put yourself in a very unhealthy position with them. This may trigger rage inside of them and they may begin to isolate you from your family and friends. You have taken the spotlight off of them and they can't handle it. The unfortunate part of their scheme is you will never know it is happening. Until one day when you need help and you find yourself alone.    
Most narcissists will not love unless they are getting something in return. Don't think for one minute you are their everything, their one and only. Just because they resited these words to you doesn't mean they are committed to you forever. Once they have taken from you what they need they will discard you and move on, which will leave you with pain, scares, and emotionally battered. The questions of; "What did I do?" "Where is everyone?" will hit your heart. 
A narcissist has their own fragile emotional drama. Don't take their bullying for a strong secure man. On the contrary, they are the most insecure and have deep demons they can only resolve. They feel empty, and fill their void by having dominate control over our lives which gives them a sense of accomplishment. We can't take on that responsibility. Because of this, they will go to any length to make sure your smile is gone, your laugh is distant, and you don't know where to begin to put your life back the way it was once they leave. They need you to feel their pain. There biggest fear is that they are nothing without you. The narcissist must share their agony.

If you found a bit of you in this story, please do not wait another minute. You must reach out. You must let your family and friends know what is happening in your life. The direction is difficult alone. There is too much confusion. You can do this. Do it now. 

The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy.

You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute.

If this relationship sounds familiar and you need help picking up the pieces. Join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my help. Visit me at www.coffeewithamilia.com. 






Be blessed,

Stay in Faith
I look forward to speaking with you.

email: amiliapowers@gmail.com

Amilia Powers


#freespiritwoman #lifecoach#spiritualcoach #coach #spirituality
#enlightenment #truth#healingmeditation #valueurself #intuitive
#meditate #awakening #mindset #quotestoliveby #wordstoliveby #positivity 
#womenempoweringwomen #guidance #wellness #realtalk #success
#motivation #inspiration #healingwomen #vintage #antique #oprah 
#oprahsbookclub 

Sunday, January 6, 2019

Healing from Narcissistic Pain?--Hurtful Spouse


HEALING FROM THE PAIN





The words "I love you" unfortunately means nothing to a Narcissist. Yes, this is very disappointing to hear. We put all of our energy in loving them, caring for their feelings, being at their beck-in-call, but a Narcissist doesn't care about LOVE. The most important thing that feeds their soul is attention, bad or good this is what they crave. If they have to use you to get it, then that's what they will do. If they don't get this in, either way, positive or negative, except that rage is coming next. They will do anything and everything they can to provoke a response from you. In their minds, having the power of over you comes first. They must see you vulnerable and weak, as long as you seem less of a person in their eyes they feel the surge of importance.

Healing from the emotional stress, and the hurt that was caused by this volatile abusive relationship is giving yourself time to gather your thoughts and collect your feelings. First, understand you were abused. You must realize you were dealing with a person who is very sick, dysfunctional and has issues beyond anything you will ever understand. There was nothing you've done wrong, and nothing you could have done differently. You gave from your heart and did everything you could as a loving caring woman would do. He's a broken person, who is very angry and resentful with his life and would love nothing more but to cause pain and hurt to other people. There is nothing you can do to put him together no matter how hard you tried. They are sadistic people who can't handle anyone being happier or better than them.

A Narcissist is a master manipulator, they don't know any other way to live. If you ever break-up with them, they will not leave your life without leaving the remanence of their rath behind. I know this from my own experience. I had no breaks from his emptiness. I found that his constant planning and scheming that he had blindfolded everyone from who he really was. I knew something was going to happen, but I kept my cool. He did everything he could to dismantle my family. The greed he carried for public fans was like a child getting high honors. He didn't leave out any harsh words or abusive dominance from his fame driven focus. 

If you are living with someone and the only thing you look forward to is when he leaves. The only thing you can feel in your heart is that it's better to be alone then hear their voice. You breathe better knowing that your every move, and every thought isn't criticized. You didn't have to give reasons for what your wearing, what your eating, you can go about your day without second-guessing yourself or looking over your shoulder. Best of all NO smart comments. You can finally have a minute even if your one eye is on the clock. Not knowing what to expect when your moment of silence is over. 

If you found a bit of you in this story, please do not wait another minute. You must reach out. You must let your family and friends know what is happening in your life. Direction is difficult alone. There is too much confusion. You can do this. Do it now. 

The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy.

You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute.

If this relationship sounds familiar and you need help picking up the pieces. Join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my help. Visit me at www.coffeewithamilia.com.