Monday, July 20, 2020

Saying "NO" to a Narcissist

When it comes to an unhealthy relationship "NO" is the most important word.

I would like to say that I'm happy your here. You are taking the necessary steps to change your situation. Being in a place of hurt and pain is not the way you should live.

Saving yourself a life full of pain and misery, No is the most important word in your relationship. When you live with a narcissist your life depends on it. 

I understand that it is hard to believe that someone you love could or would abuse your generosity and take advantage of you. You can't fathom that being kind, and nice could attract someone this cruel in your life. 

We end up walking through life with this emotional pretense that this couldn't be happening to us. We continue sending ourselves warm thoughts that he didn't mean any harm or we miss understood his intentions just so we don't fall apart. 

I used to give him a pass on a regular basis. My thoughts were, If he's kind to me at times, then I can work with this and maybe make him see that we have something amazing and special. I developed a very hard time saying no and stopping the abuse. My courage facing him went to the waste side and I became very vulnerable. In reality, he wasn't able to share the love with me or anyone. I refused to give up and was determined to show him how wonderful life would be. It simply never occurred to me that I was heading down a path of destruction and pain.

Please use the word "NO" every chance you get. This is a game-changer for your life going forward. It validates who you are and what you will put up with. Without you putting your foot down, your life will be nothing but chaos. No, is the most powerful word used in any relationship. It sets the stage for your self-worth. Using this word takes you out of fear, and unleashes your power. The narcissist will not challenge you. You are not budging and he will eventually leave. He will get it through his thick skin he has no control over you, and as we all know they need to have control. That's what gives them power and gratification. They must have the spotlight. Don't worry your head, you left no room for arguments. You cleaned up this mess fairly quickly. 

I'm a woman who found herself in this position and used this through her darkest times. Waking up praising God, and asking for strength. I never gave up hope and never giving up on me. I will not let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is incredible. Don't waste another minute. There is nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice. 

Reach out to me, and will guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. I have turned my prayers into meditations, that are helping women across the country rise beyond their pain. 

Click the link below. 

Have a blessed day
Reach out anytime.
Amilia Powers

Saturday, July 11, 2020

Narcissists are Bullies--Destructive Behavior

Don't Make Excuses For Their Actions

Narcissists are classic bullies. They will ambush you, and take you down without a moment's notice. They will always blame you for their actions, and never take responsibility for what they are doing. They will deny that they are doing anything wrong and tell you it's all your fault. 

Narcissists are manipulators and have a way to turn the table upside down and unfortunately, it lands in your lap. Your thoughts become deep, and you begin to feel bad for them. They drain you emotionally and physically, you just give in because you are so exhausted.

Narcissists are cowards. They hide from what they are doing, by putting on a show to the outside world, an appearance of a stand-up man, a kind loving family man. Validation from people that they hold a higher power of love and happiness and kindness is a must.

Remember, you are short term for a narcissist. He knows he is going to leave on bad terms, they will cause destruction and you won't even know what happened, he mustn't lose the sympathetic voice from the fake persona he portrayed in public. His mission is to make you look bad in all aspects of your life. He needs this power over you so people will come to his defenses. 

We made the mistake of not telling anyone how we feel or what is really happening in our lives. I know I have done this. I praised him in public, while I was abused emotionally and drained physically. Yes, to strangers, it looked like it was all my fault. What the hell was I thinking? I helped him set up ammunition against me.  His plan was in motion. I have to say I didn't see it coming. All I wanted was peace, that was my focus. I needed to get through the day, and not carry the pain with me.  

I spent many sleepless nights at the kitchen table. I needed to close my eyes just for a minute.  The thought of being in the same room with him put knots in my stomach, let alone sleeping in the same bed. Knowing what my day entailed I needed to take care of me. Yes, ladies, it was brutal. At this point, I couldn't wait until he left. I didn't even care what people thought of me. They weren't in my life, so it didn't matter anyway. I just wanted him gone. 

I wanted my life back the way it was. Having fun, smiling, and enjoying the people I loved. I was finally being honest with myself and realized this isn't the way I wanted to live my life. This isn't what I imagined love was like. 

The day came when I felt strong. I didn't allow him to stay. I didn't feed off of his nasty energy. I spoke my mind. I stood up for myself. I was scared, but I had NO choice but to take control of my life or remain in shattered thoughts for the rest of my life. Looking over my shoulder, not knowing what was going to happen next. Definitely not the way to live.

He finally left with a trail of destruction behind him. He threw poison in the air from his words and continued shooting darts even after he left. I was so happy the demon left the building. I was thankful and grateful, excited to pick up my pieces. I knew I deserved a life of happiness. It felt amazing. The freedom, I embraced the world and everything in it. 

Ladies, please if you are reading this and it has any type of resemblance to your story. Please reach out. The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you. When was the last time you laughed so hard and your stomach hurt with joy??

Love is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy smiling and has her voice. 

Visit me. Learn more about me. 
I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.

Contact me at or visit my website

Leave me a message and the best time to reach you.

I look forward to speaking with you.
Have a blessed day

Amilia Powers

#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship #narcissist #narcissism 
#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse