When the Pain is Deep--Narcissist Abuse

No one knows how it feels, to go through this pain

I have women emailing me all the time about people in their lives trying to tell them how they should feel and what they should do about their situation and have no clue what it's like to be hurt by someone they love. Yes, I get this very well. It is very difficult to take advice from someone who doesn't understand the depth of your pain because they have never had to deal with it, but they seem to be experts in the field.

The unfortunate part of this we begin to get frustrated and misunderstood. Now you start to believe that it's something you've done. Not only do you have your own situation to focus on, and you're trying your hardest to figure out the next steps you need to take, you have other people in the mix, which has caused more confusion, and are making matters worse for you. You feel you should have just kept things to yourself.

Eventually, what happens here, we let go of the need to explain ourselves and our situation to others. We pull back and stay alone in thought, and try to figure things out on our own and wish we had some support. But the last thing we need is to get into a disagreement or argument over what is happening in our life. Because someone feels they know more about it than you do.

I found myself always on the defensive. Too many questions about why.

1. Why did you let your situation go so far?

2. Why didn't you call for help?

3. Why did you allow him to hurt you?

4. Why didn't you stand up for yourself?

These questions obviously came from people who have absolutely no right to ask them. Why you might ask because they weren't living my life or your life. They don't understand the circumstances. Did you ever hear that saying? "You will never understand until it happens to you" This saying holds merit.

We really didn't need people telling us everything is fine now, or this will pass or you'll get over it. Ect...

What we were looking for or still are seeking is understanding, compassion, and support. While we figure things out and collect our lives and begin to put the pieces back together that are scattered like confetti everywhere we turn.

By telling someone, you should have done this or that would make them feel like a failure, they would begin to second guess themselves. No, advise here not needed. This person needs encouragement and someone to listen.

Don't judge, no one deserves to be judged going through a difficult time. If they cry they need to get it out. That's not a sign of weakness, this is something that needs to take place, all apart of the healing process. If they don't look as if they are put together, keep your comments to yourself. They will get better without your foolish remarks.

You obviously do not know what someone is going through, so have some compassion, and reassure them that they are not alone. Getting out of bed is the most difficult task in many cases. They are most likely facing many challenges ahead.

Everyone has their own stuff, is that fair to say? We are still responsible for how we treat others. Many situations take longer for most people to even understand. Healing is endless. Things will come up in their daily lives, such as memories, thoughts of pain, and hurt that will bring sorrow. Like a replay button that doesn't stop. It turns the emotional gauge higher and lower depending on the day. As time goes on it becomes lighter and easier to deal with. Until then. Love

Love them and show support all the time. Share joy and kindness. This is the most effective way that a person who is broken will feel the most supported. Did you ever hear the saying?
"love conquers all"

Remember a very important golden role: "We Rise By Helping Others"


We are stronger together. Strength runs in numbers.

Click the link below, and live the life you are created to live. 

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I have created a special addition to my meditation practices. It is back from popular demand. It is "Personalized Meditations" Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems. 

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The biggest myth is people believing to not shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the meditation is personalized you tune right into your life and solution.

There isn't any sound or noise that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.

Be blessed,
I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message and the best time to reach you.
I will guide you through the process
Amilia
amiliapowers@gmail.com


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2 Steps to Move Forward from a Breakup--Narcissist Abuse

HOW DO I MOVE FORWARD FROM A BREAKUP??

We have so much to do. 

I get several emails per-day, asking me how do I get rid of the thoughts of my ex-boyfriend, ex-husband...etc..?

This is a very important question. Getting rid of thoughts of your ex, vs making those thoughts less powerful in your mind are two different things. In order to lessen the focus, I have two suggestions.

#1. Let's begin to unclutter those thoughts.

Walk around your home, and look to see what you have. Do you have pictures of him, that keep you up all night? Do you have items that he gave to you, that turn your stomach into knots?
The biggest thing, that women do not like to part with is clothing and jewelry. It is time to begin to unclutter your feelings. Keeping things around that remind you of hurt and pain is not going to do you any justice. Do you really need that shirt, pants or purse? These items can be replaced. You were able to buy these things before he entered your life, and you can get them now. It doesn't make you feel any better every time you reach into your bag and have that reminder of the hurt you endured. I recommend you do this gently, and when you are ready, if you can give away, one item a day, you will lighten up your heart.

#2. Stop talking about your EX with friends and family.

Don't bring him up in conversation, and don't invite chatter from anyone. This will help you become stronger with your present life. You will be able to enjoy new things, make fresh memories, and bring back your smile, and the laugh that you didn't have for some time. It's time to stop living in the past.

If you have people in your life that will not stop gossiping and keep bringing him up, then you need to distance yourself from their life. I know this is hard to do, but you have to do it in order to have peace. People must learn to respect your wishes. Unfortunately, we have to teach them to do so.  If they love you they would do this for you, knowing what your going through. The less Chit Chat you hear about him the better you will feel. Start speaking about things you look forward to and want to experience. Fill your heart with excitement and joy. This is your time. Begin living for your future and stop living in the past.

Contact me at www.coffeewithamilia.com
You don't have to do this alone.
Have a blessed day. I have many blogs right here that will help you.
Please go through them.
Amilia Powers

Click the link below. I have an ebook you should pick up for this particular situation, it will guide you, and prepare you for the things you must do to begin living the life you are created to live.

https://valueurself.com/…/pro…/attract-the-love-of-your-life

Begin today and apologize to yourself for everything that has happened to you. Keep your faith close and God first. I wish you an incredible start to a new journey.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Amilia

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When Does The Pain End?--Narcissist Abuse

FREEDOM FROM ABUSE 

 I would like to start by saying that it is natural to be uncertain when the pain will end. When an abusive relationship comes to a close, it brings a major shift in our thoughts and feelings. So much to adjust to. We are kicked off balance, that knowing what to do first becomes difficult and messy.

Many things to do and our heart is doing loops trying it's hardest to stay together because we have work and children we need to be strong. All you can say to yourself is what happened in my life. There is no one around, you spent all your time with your abuser, he made you feel that there isn't anyone who will ever care for you as much he has. Your negative thoughts rush through your head hour after hour.

You're watching the clock hoping and wishing that a call will come in so you can get some type of closure to the pain you are feeling. The most important thing to understand is that it's ok to feel this way. 

What you don't realize is that the moment the abuser left your life, is when that very instant your healing began. The feelings that you are having is the first part of the rest of your life.

You might not understand right away the term of events that took place, because you have done everything you could to keep him happy and your entire self and energy were being attentive to his every whim. 

At the same time, you should feel the burden removed from your life. The darkness around your heart lifted, the air in your home is fresher. As you look around you don't see any more pain. You don't feel any more anxiety about him coming through the front door. You are no longer afraid of what could happen next when his car pulls into the driveway, or most importantly what hurtful messages will come out of his mouth that will cause you to have sleepless nights. 

Begin to feel the joy of his absence. Start embracing your freedom from abuse. Connect to your family and friends, continue to throw out the remains that were left behind of his rath. Take time for yourself by reaching out to talk about what transpired and get it out of your heart. You probably held it in for so long it is time to get rid of it. 

Be around supportive and understanding people. Hug your loved ones and open up to their warmth and kindness. The more you surround yourself with comfort, then you will begin to gain courage and become stronger to handle all tasks that are ahead. It will help you break through any confusion you have left. The blame game you have been throwing around in your mind. As time goes by your negative feelings will lessen. With your strong support, the pain that you once felt will be called memory. 

Where ever you begin. Pursue peace and joy. Please Please, remember what happened in your life and never allow him to come back and never let anyone hurt, pain, or abuse you in any way ever again. The first curse, the first slap, the first sign of disrespect is more than you will put up with. 

There is nothing more powerful than a woman who puts her foot down and takes a stand for her life and value.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time 
to reach you.

Learn more about me
by visiting my websites:

www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com


Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com

#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship #narcissist #narcissism 
#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse 

Novelty Seeking Narcissist--How to Deal

NOVELTY SEEKERS

Unfortunately, there are people like this in our society. Men who stifle the joy out of our hearts. Trust gives us the ability to believe in a person. It builds strength in our relationships forever. It's an unbreakable bond.

Men who chase you with everything they have and profess their love to you with all the right words and actions. Who could resist the joy and happiness it brings into our life?

The first date with flowers and laughs, holding hands. How can you not fall for a man who is treating you like all the fairytales you read since you were a child? It seems too good to be true, and you're immediately smitten by him. 

He is enjoying the excitement just as much as you. Warm kisses, long nights and dinners together, you feel this must be the one. He is chasing you, and you love the attention it has brought to your heart. All you can think about or feel is a man who really likes you and loves being with you. 

Although, there is a twist to this love story that you didn't see coming. These Narcissists Novelty Seekers are not in it for the long run. They get bored rather quickly. Then it happens, tables turn on you all of a sudden and you find yourself trying to figure out what you did wrong. You begin to chase him, texts, calls. You might even stop at his place to try to understand why he lost interest. 

He locked your mind and energy into thinking that there might be a chance of forever. But all he wants is a good time until he finds someone else. You don't understand at this point why this is happening because you are so involved and wrapped up with your feelings. You are not reading the writing on the wall. He is creating a circle of women so he can recycle them when he needs to. Each one of you hoping and wishing you would get picked. 

He withdrew and backed up from seeing you. Not interested in the relationship at all. The only thing that brought him excitement was the chase which he already concurred what he needed from you and there was nothing left for him. He knows you are stuck in disbelief he will text and call if he is bored or wants to get together. You still feel that when you receive his text, that there still might be a chance with him. Heart struck on the first date, In your mind, you can not let go. You become drawn into his supply.  

Sometimes, we get lost in the happy moments of our relationship to the extent we forget all the unhappiness it brings us. If you feel your situation is leaving you more frustrated and unhappy more often than not; if your relationship has you in tears and sleepless nights, perhaps this is not a person you need to devote all your energy and joy to. If the main source of your happiness is the first time you met, it is not enough to sustain love with this person. 

We must remember our relationships exist in the present moments. Not a distant memory. It's not a reason to stay together. The decision you make on whether or not to stay with this person should be based on your current situation. You should know exactly where you are and how you feel and what you need to do.


I can tell you what I think you should do...

I can tell you this. You will not be at his beck and call and run every time he asks. They will try everything possible to get your attention to a meeting, no response is your answer. You will not put up with him treating you with disrespect and total disregard. You will not play second fiddle to anyone and allow your heart to be torn apart.

A narcissist loves to keep you on your toes, it's what they know how to do best. They don't want you to feel secure with yourself and safe in the relationship. It makes them feel wonderful inside when you feel insecure they get a sense of enraged power as if they can do anything to you and you will do nothing in return.

You will not continue to move in their direction because if you do, you will find yourself with your back against the wall and nowhere to turn.

They have given you an option and showed you what life is like with them. It's up to you to either release them from your life or continue on the path for destruction??


WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO??

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time 
to reach you.

Learn more about me
by visiting my websites:

www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com


Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com

#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship #narcissist #narcissism 
#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse 

3 Ways to Faith During Abuse--Narcissist Abuse

HOLD YOUR HEAD UP

Being abused and mistreated by the one we love is the most stressful and draining experience any woman can ever go through. It is difficult to see clearly because we are in such disbelief what is happening to your life.  The entire situation has depleted all of your energy and we don't know where to turn.

Our circumstances become extremely complicated. Between worrying about Finances and where to go if we leave. Fear sets in and takes over our thoughts. We are not even thinking about the abuse anymore, our life becomes a deeper more intense position to figure out. Our heart is on our children and ourselves. Safety is a big issue and no plans in sight.

We understand that things need to change, life is not supposed to be full of torment and pain. I have faith and I know God's life for me is so much better. I need the courage to find a way out of this abusive relationship. I must save myself and my family life of grief from a monster.

God has always been the center of my life. I understood how powerful prayers can be. I believe in my heart God hears us and he is working behind the scenes to help even though we think we are forgotten. Having faith and trusting God through our pain and suffering gives us hope and eases our burden. Handing our situation over to him and telling him we can't do this alone helps us continue moving forward with peace in our hearts knowing things will work out for our better good no matter what is happening at present.

I would like to share with you three areas that have helped me and I believe will help you

TRUST YOUR PLAN

1.  We get discouraged and afraid when our life slams us to the floor and we find ourselves on our knees begging and pleating for something or anything, anyone to walk in and pick us up and make things better. We wonder, Where is God? Does he see this? Can he hear me? The answer to these questions is Yes, he can. He knows what is happening, he knows you need help. 

Continue to pray and take action. The Bible says to walk out our faith. Trust that you are being led by the Holy Spirit and you will overcome. When I was going through struggles I prayed and took action I didn't sit down and do nothing, I trusted God and he sent me everyone I needed to help me. 

HAVING HOPE 

2. In our life of chaos, we feel there is very little hope to change our situation. However, God is never caught off guard or by surprise. God knows the future, after all, he is our creator. It's not unusual to lose faith and believe the thought of hope is too far out of reach. Pain can take away hope.

Hope is knowing for certain that God will never allow us to suffer. There is nothing on earth more
certain than hope in God. He will never leave us nor forsake us.

Every one of us at one time or another suffered from some kind of trial. Life isn't easy. God works our sadness, and painful times together for our good. Don't give up. Keep hoping and continue to pray and be patient for God's timing. Stay Strong, keep faith in your heart, and have hope for days ahead and your future. You will never be disappointed.


STAY IN FAITH

3. Faith is an important part of healing through the pain. Faith gives us the strength we need to take that next step when we don't have the energy to do it alone. Faith fuels us with love and kindness that we need for our families and ourselves. Faith puts a smile in our heart and a sparkle of joy in our eyes when all we see is darkness. Faith is encouragement and comfort when things are out of hand. Did you ever hear someone say "just have faith, it will work out?" That's what faith is. 

Faith is everything. Trust, hope, assurance, and belief that God will carry you through any difficulty you have and make sure you are stronger and better than you were. Faith comes before a prayer is answered. Faith is believing that God is watching over you.  

Yes, Faith is Everything...

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A woman who found her way through the darkest of times. I woke up every morning praising God, and never giving up hope. I praised him in good times, and when I was cursed at. He saw me through. I never gave up on me. I will never let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time 
to reach you.

Learn more about me
by visiting my websites:

www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com


Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com

#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship #narcissist #narcissism 
#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse 

3 Signs He's Toxic---Narcissist Behavior

Your Relationship Is Breaking You Down......

Toxic Relationships cause destruction in our life that we never saw coming. Your family becomes in disarray by the constant pain and arguments that feed the air they breathe. Our friends stay away from all the negativity that our relationship is bringing into their life. You are so knee-deep in your own thoughts you don't see all of this unfolding right before your eyes. 

We have put so much time (months or even years) and money (everything we earned) into this relationship and we feel that there must be something we can do to salvage it. We still love this man. Of course, we do. The constant back and forth love and pain we continue to embrace makes the process very confusing. He tells you he's sorry by bringing you flowers or buying you a small gift as a token of his love. Yes, yes we agree in our heart to forgive him. But the outcome is we are falling into something more toxic. Exactly where he wants us. Triggering memories of the love he professed to you have you running in your mind that things can be the way they were and you become bound to this notion. 

Starting all over again blindfolded to what is actually happening in our life. Wouldn't you say this is an unfair trade? A Gift for more Pain. All relationships start beautiful and exciting and loving at the beginning. Healthy relationships grow with one another to learn how to balance and accommodate each other. Toxic Relationships, start the same way but the difference is feelings from their past and things that were painful being to surface and poison your relationship. It happens rather fast that we end up gasping for air. 

THE ONLY WAY OUT IS TO GET OUT!

WHEN I FIRST BEGAN TO UNDERSTAND THAT MY RELATIONSHIP WAS TOXIC AND ABUSIVE, IS WHEN I REALIZED I WAS IN CONSTANT PAIN, AND HURT ALL THE TIME. I HOPED AND PRAYED THINGS WOULD GET BETTER BUT THEY PROGRESSIVELY BECAME TO MUCH TO BARE. THE INTENSITY AND DAMAGE were SETTING INTO MY LIFE, AND MY HAPPINESS WAS KNOW WHERE TO BE FOUND.  I WANTED MY LIFE BACK.

THESE ARE THE THREE AREAS THAT HELPED ME IN MY LIFE....

You are the only one making all the sacrifices..

1. Sacrificing your happiness and joy and handing it over to one person is lonely and exhausting. Feeling sad all the time, being intentionally hurt and used is painful. It keeps you in a dark place of frustration and confusion. You become afraid of your own zest for life. Let go of the fairytale that giving all of yourself to a man who doesn't appreciate you or values all your efforts. This will not change anything in your relationship. You will feel emptier as though you're not doing enough. Stop Stop....This is Enough.

Your Freedom is at Stake

2. Possessive behavior comes into play in a Toxic Relationship. Your friends and family become a distant memory. Your relationship is one-sided in a blink of an eye. He will stray you away from your life and loved ones by planning things the same day you want to spend time with them or tell you it's not the time to do those things. Their insecurity and fragile being is a primary role in keeping you dependent on them and releasing you of your support network. Because these situations happen so fast, we never question them, and as time goes by we become isolated and alone. We must remain aware of the distance we put between us and our loved ones. If we are calling our friends and family frequently and it comes to a complete stop, we must take notice. This is the most obvious sign that you will see. 

Finding Peace

                              

3.  Having peace in a toxic, abusive relationship. Well, It will never happen. You will always feel uneasy, a bit anxious. The sad thing about my relationship that I learned was I never spoke up. I never had that feeling of peace in my heart by getting my feelings off my chest and setting things right with what was said at the moment. I held things in and was nervous and afraid of a fight or argument that might flare-up. As time went on I found myself withdrawn and asking myself. "What are you doing?" "Why do you want to live like this?" "Why don't you say something?" In order to free yourself and have peace in your life is to come out with your feelings and say it like it is. It is the most liberating voice you will ever hear. It is a game-changer for the rest of your life going forward. No more questions, no more arguing with yourself, spit it out... 

In any relationship making sacrifices are fine, but your happiness and self-respect should come first. You should always be a priority. Your relationship should be built on values, love, and happiness. We obviously want the same goal and that is to be happy with one another. 

Relationships are not bonded by cruel punishment and painful words and the sacrifice of your self-worth. Suffocating every ounce of energy you have left. Remember you owe nothing to anyone. You owe yourself everything.  

This is not the time to cover up and act as if everything is alright, or that you can do
this on your own. I can tell you this. You can't do this on your own. You will need assistance.

I'm here if you would like to talk. You can leave me a message at www.valueurself.com
and pick the best time that works for you. I will answer any questions you might have.

I'm a woman just like you. A woman who made mistakes with her heart and has been through the same situation you are going through. I'm a woman who is willing to help you and guide you to a life you are created to live.

Love is amazing. We all know how this feels but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. I'm thankful and grateful to be a part of all of your lives.

You can also contact me at amiliapowers@gmail.com and visit my website: www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com

Be Blessed,

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time to reach you.

Stay Safe
Be Strong

Amilia Powers

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