Wednesday, May 20, 2020

When Does The Pain End?--Narcissist Abuse


 I would like to start by saying that it is natural to be uncertain when the pain will end. When an abusive relationship comes to a close, it brings a major shift in our thoughts and feelings. So much to adjust to. We are kicked off balance, that knowing what to do first becomes difficult and messy.

Many things to do and our heart is doing loops trying it's hardest to stay together because we have work and children we need to be strong. All you can say to yourself is what happened in my life. There is no one around, you spent all your time with your abuser, he made you feel that there isn't anyone who will ever care for you as much he has. Your negative thoughts rush through your head hour after hour.

You're watching the clock hoping and wishing that a call will come in so you can get some type of closure to the pain you are feeling. The most important thing to understand is that it's ok to feel this way. 

What you don't realize is that the moment the abuser left your life, is when that very instant your healing began. The feelings that you are having is the first part of the rest of your life.
You might not understand right away the term of events that took place, because you have done everything you could to keep him happy and your entire self and energy were being attentive to his every whim. 

At the same time, you should feel the burden removed from your life. The darkness around your heart lifted, the air in your home is fresher. As you look around you don't see any more pain. You don't feel any more anxiety about him coming through the front door. You are no longer afraid of what could happen next when his car pulls into the driveway, or most importantly what hurtful messages will come out of his mouth that will cause you to have sleepless nights. 

Begin to feel the joy of his absence. Start embracing your freedom from abuse. Connect to your family and friends, continue to throw out the remains that were left behind of his rath. Take time for yourself by reaching out to talk about what transpired and get it out of your heart. You probably held it in for so long it is time to get rid of it. 

Be around supportive and understanding people. Hug your loved ones and open up to their warmth and kindness. The more you surround yourself with comfort, then you will begin to gain courage and become stronger to handle all tasks that are ahead. It will help you break through any confusion you have left. The blame game you have been throwing around in your mind. As time goes by your negative feelings will lessen. With your strong support, the pain that you once felt will be called memory. 

Where ever you begin. Pursue peace and joy. Please Please, remember what happened in your life and never allow him to come back and never let anyone hurt, pain, or abuse you in any way ever again. The first curse, the first slap, the first sign of disrespect is more than you will put up with. 

There is nothing more powerful than a woman who puts her foot down and takes a stand for her life and value.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.
You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.
Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
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Amilia Powers

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#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse 

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