#1 Reason a Narcissist keeps you under his Thumb

Living Under The Control Of Someone Else

When this happens in our life, there are no words to describe the frightening feeling it causes. I know this first hand. I was with a man I loved, and I really thought in my heart he loved me. As time went on, I began to live in his shadow. There wasn't anything more terrifying than the feeling of living in the dark. It feels as if your world comes to a halt.

I worked two jobs to keep up with the finances for my home. When I look back today and I realize that working was my salvation. I didn't want to go home. I felt that there was nothing I wanted to go home to. When I worked, I was able to smile, and laugh eat in peace, without unkind words, and anger. 

I began to stay to myself most of the time. I really didn't speak to many people about my situation, I was a private person. My children knew about my hurt and pain, but I kept them away from my house. I felt I was punished for something I didn't do. I saw my family less and less. I spoke about my situation less and less. I began to feel the grip around my neck. In reality, it didn't belong to me anymore. There were days, I prayed someone would come and save me. I didn't know what to do myself or where to begin to fix this. 

I wanted what every woman, wished for. To be loved and respected, and cherished. My life was further from that. 

If anyone would ask me how I was, I would nod my head, and tell them everything was alright. Even if they can tell through my eyes that there was pain. I denied my feelings and held them under lock and key close to my heart.

I prayed a lot. As I was going through this hurtful period in my life, I knew it wasn't my last stop. I knew that the good Lord had something else in mind for me. I knew I had to be patient and wait out the storm. I had peace in my heart, knowing I did the best I could under the circumstances.

I would get up every day and thank God for this amazing glorious day. I knew it wasn't the life I dreamed of, I knew the day wasn't going to be what I expected. I held on to the Lord, and let him guide me through the learning process. I never felt alone, and I never gave up. This wasn't the story God wrote for me.

There were people who made fun of me. They laughed and even sent me bad wishes. It was sad to listen to. I would continue to smile as if I didn't hear them. People sometimes forget their voice carries. Unfortunately, they believed in what they heard, but not the truth. Still today, I never tried to defend myself, I don't think there was a need for any of that. I had to walk away from people who didn't understand what I went through and let this part of me rest.

You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you. You are not alone. I will answer any questions you may have.
Contact me at amiliapowers@gmail.com or visit my website www.valueurself.com

I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you with this situation, these were my prayers turned into meditations, that are now helping thousands of women like yourself, live the life they were created to live.

These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and be more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. Help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

You can get more information, by clicking on the link below.

https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s

Be blessed,

I look forward to speaking with you.

We will continue our conversation on Sunday

Amilia Powers


#freespiritwoman #lifecoach#spiritualcoach #coach #spirituality
#enlightenment #truth#healingmeditation #valueurself #intuitive
#meditate #awakening #mindset #quotestoliveby #wordstoliveby #positivity 
#womenempoweringwomen #guidance #wellness #realtalk #success
#motivation #inspiration #healingwomen #vintage #antique #oprah 
#oprahsbookclub #amiliapowers #coffeewithamilia 

#1 Thing a Narcissist will do to you

HEALING FROM THE PAIN

The words "I love you" unfortunately means nothing to a Narcissist. Yes, this is very disappointing to hear. We put all of our energy in loving them, caring for their feelings, being at their beck-in-call, but a Narcissist doesn't care about LOVE. The most important thing that feeds their soul is attention, bad or good this is what they crave. If they have to use you to get it, then that's what they will do. If they don't get this in, either way, positive or negative, expect that rage is coming next. They will do anything and everything they can to provoke a response from you. In their minds, having power over you comes first. They must see you vulnerable and weak, as long as you seem less of a person in their eyes they feel the surge of importance.

Healing from the emotional stress, and the hurt that was caused by this volatile abusive relationship is giving yourself time to gather your thoughts and collect your feelings. First, understand you were abused. You must realize you were dealing with a person who is very sick, dysfunctional, and has issues beyond anything you will ever understand. There was nothing you've done wrong, and nothing you could have done differently. You gave from your heart and did everything you could as a loving caring woman would do. He's a broken person, who is very angry and resentful with his life and would love nothing more but to cause pain and hurt to other people. There is nothing you can do to put him together no matter how hard you tried. They are sadistic people who can't handle anyone being happier or better than them.

A Narcissist is a master manipulator, they don't know any other way to live. If you ever break-up with them, they will not leave your life without leaving the remanence of their rath behind. I know this from my own experience. I had no breaks from his emptiness. I found that with his constant planning and scheming that he had blindfolded everyone from who he really was. I knew something was going to happen, but I kept my cool. He did everything he could to dismantle my family. The greed he carried for public fans was like a child getting high honors. He didn't leave out any harsh words or abusive dominance from his fame driven focus. 

If you are living with someone and the only thing you look forward to is when he leaves. The only thing you can feel in your heart is that it's better to be alone than hear their voice. You breathe better knowing that your every move, and every thought isn't criticized. You didn't have to give reasons for what your wearing, what your eating, you can go about your day without second-guessing yourself or looking over your shoulder. Best of all NO smart comments. You can finally have a minute even if your one eye is on the clock. Not knowing what to expect when your moment of silence is over. 

If you found a bit of you in this story, please do not wait another minute. You must reach out. You must let your family and friends know what is happening in your life. The direction is difficult alone. There is too much confusion. You can do this. Do it now. 

The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy.

You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute.

If this relationship sounds familiar and you need help picking up the pieces. Join thousands of women who have changed their lives with my help. Visit me at www.coffeewithamilia.com. 

Be blessed,

Stay in Faith
I look forward to speaking with you.

amiliapowers@gmail.com

Amilia Powers


#freespiritwoman #lifecoach#spiritualcoach #coach #spirituality
#enlightenment #truth#healingmeditation #valueurself #intuitive
#meditate #awakening #mindset #quotestoliveby #wordstoliveby #positivity 
#womenempoweringwomen #guidance #wellness #realtalk #success
#motivation #inspiration #healingwomen #vintage #antique #oprah 
#oprahsbookclub 

Key Reason a Narcissist is so Dangerous?

Never underestimate a Narcissist

I'm happy you are here with me. Dealing with a narcissist is very dangerous. This is a subject that is painful on so many levels. Confusion is the best word to describe the darkness that sets in. It feels as if you are in a fog in the night air, with no end in sight. 

You try and try to find a reason why someone you love would want to hurt you so bad. Not only cause you pain but want to destroy you. You've done everything in your heart to show them repeatedly in so many different ways you love them. Just to get shot down every time. Nothing you do is good enough. You are lost for words and all you have left from the agony is a blackened heart with nothing left give. You're exhausted. He has depleted all of your energy.  

We must understand the reality to a narcissist. Boundaries do not exist. They will always treat you as if they have the right to control you and push you around. To a narcissist, your dreams do not matter, your ideas will not be heard. They do not care about your feelings. He will drive his power right through you. 

If you think for one minute that you are the only one he will control, you are highly mistaken. No one is off limits. They will go as far as destroying your family and friends and your relationship with them, and turn it around and blame you for everything that happened. Pure evil. Very Dangerous and unpredictable. It passed be cautious, you must reach out for help. 

The truth is, we as rational normal people and understand what lines to cross and not hurt others viciously and intentionally because we are aware of other peoples feelings. We know respectfully when to back off. Causing harm is not in our vocabulary. 

Unfortunately, the narcissist has no concept of these lines. In their demented mind, you have no right to exist in their world of make-believe. They will never understand how you can be so caring and loving and be genuine with your life. You give naturally without any motives. A narcissist doesn't play by these rules. They literally hate you for this and want you in pain. Which puts you in a very dangerous position. 

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman who found her way through her darkest hour. I never gave up hope. I never gave up on me. I will never give up on you.

I knew I didn't deserve a life of pain. I wanted my smile back, I wanted to hear myself laugh something I haven't done in so long. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it was a must to get away from him and never look back. I knew that the challenges I will be facing is just an obstacle towards freedom of torment and misery he put me through. This was worth getting out. The only words that came out of my mouth were "bring in on. I got the Lord by my side."

Having love in our lives is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. 

I have added to my coaching practices, back by popular demand "Personalized Meditations."

For more information, click the link below. This helped women all across the country, rise beyond their pain and struggles. 

https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations

Have a blessed day

Amilia Powers

amiliapowers@gmail.com

#1 Ultimate Sacrifice We Make with a Narcissist

Think of the most important thing in your life and that's what you won't have.

I would first like to say, thank you for being here with me today to speak about this very important subject that has a painful outcome in so many lives.

You must not sacrifice your life to live with a narcissist. Unfortunately, to live with a narcissist and not be completely overwhelmed you must give up everything. Who you are, and what you stand for goes first. You become the shadow of the Narcissist. A person you once knew. Now you are who he wants you to be.

The very moment you question your heart and speak your mind. He will rewrite the version of your unhappiness and make you think about what you said. Going deeper into the conversation will cause the narcissist to go into his rage. His disbelief that you are questioning his love for you. That you are trying to ruin a good thing. He will recite this script that he is doing everything to make you happy. In return, you are left feeling confused and sadden for what you've done.

The Narcissist likes to call the shots. What friends you should have if any, family members. Your work is a status, he will never question that. Money is of the essence to him. He will put it down to keep you in check or in some cases make you give it up so he has complete control. I personally had to work two jobs many hours of overtime to keep up with his reckless spending and behavior.  Appreciating them and their decisions to be the best outcome for your life. Even if that means you will never see your friends and family or even go out without them tagging along.

A narcissist needs a target to blame. If you are in a relationship with one, then that target is you. If you have interests beyond them, they will make you feel stupid. Basically, your ideas are terrible and your interests are boring. As time sets in, and we all know it flies by, we don't even realize we handed our lives over to a monster.

Getting a better understanding of what you are dealing with will save you a world of grief. Noticing how your life changes drastically just before your eyes is a tall tale sign that you are in a one-sided relationship, and you will always feel uncomfortable, and on edge with everything you do and say.

Then comes the ultimate sacrifice, as if you haven't given enough already. Staying in a life of loneliness, hurt, and sadness. Dealing with his selfish behavior. The controlling abuse that has disarmed you of everything you loved and cared about in your life or you take back your life, stand up, and release your power and not have anything to do with him. You stand up and rise. Take complete control of what you deserve, and everything you love and enjoy. The people you care about and things treasured.

I'm a woman who's been in the same situation you are going through., and knows firsthand how destructive this can be.. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A person who found her way through the darkest of times. I woke up every morning praising God, and never giving up hope. I praised him in good times, and when I was in most pain. I gained the strength to never give up on me and the life I deserved. I will never let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I will help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.

I have also created a series of four (4) Meditations, that will help you through your present situations. and back by popular demand, I added my personalized meditations, that help women all across the country rise beyond their pain. For more information, click the link below.

https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s
https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations

Have a blessed day,
I look forward to hearing from you,
Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com

2 Stages for Surviving after Narcissist Abuse

When your life is in Survival Mode after Pain that leaves you broken

First I would like to say that I'm happy your here. Breaking up is never easy, especially under these conditions. Confusion and self-doubt begin to set in our hearts. Dealing with a narcissist during a break-up takes all the energy out of you.

1. The first stage of healing a broken heart after narcissistic abuse is disconnecting and staying your distance from the abuser and everything that surrounds them, which means everyone who is a part of him. Yes, this must be done. Space from the pain that was caused helps you get a clear understanding of the cruelty you dealt with.

This is a delicate stage. During trauma, our thoughts are all over the place. We want them back, we hate them. We want justice for our sanity. We lose sleep, we forget to eat. Stop me if I'm wrong.

Please, ladies, collect your thoughts. Stop the shame, and the blame game. You are giving him all the power he is asking for. You're giving him full control over your entire world. You are not allowing yourself to feel what is real. That he doesn't deserve you. He is not worthy to hear your voice. Most importantly you don't deserve to be abused by him. This is the reality. You have given this demon too much credit. Why don't we start with you?

You are a survivor and you will heal. You will not go back and any thought of this is erased from your inner soul. You love who you are and will treat yourself with the utmost respect and never allow anyone to mistreat you from this day forward. Repeat.

Begin every verse by saying, "I'm a powerful woman and I will get through this. I'm a survivor and stronger than I've ever been before. I have overcome.

2. The second most important part of surviving after abuse is believing that life is better without him. That life with him was cruel. Your life with him had no joy or happiness and everything you did ended up with painful punishment that you didn't deserve. You must believe that being tormented and abused day after day isn't the way you want to live your life.

Believing in yourself worth is a big game-changer. This means, standing up for yourself. Being strong enough to say the magic two-letter word NO, I'm not having it. Scaring him half to death with your power that he can not approach you in any way but respectfully or he needs to step aside. You will not put up with any unkindness bottom line.

Remember, you dictate how the relationship goes. You have more strength than he does. We forget all about that when he is giving us a line of bullishit. That's all that it is and believe it or not we know it, and dismiss it and what comes with it is a world of grief.

Listen carefully to what you believe. Believe in yourself first. Believe that you deserve to live a life of love, joy, and happiness. Believe that you do and it will come to pass. Most Importantly believe he doesn't fall into your belief system. Amen to that.

I'm a woman whose life was darkened. My entire life was shattered in a million pieces. A woman's advice you can trust. I never gave up hope. I woke up every day in praise, thanking God in my good times and my bad. I never gave up on me, and I will never give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any concerns you may have.

Click the link below. Learn more about me.
www.coffeewithamilia.com

Be Blessed
I look forward to speaking with you.
Have a blessed day
amiliapowers@gmail.com

Amilia Powers

How important the word "NO" is--Narcissist Attact

When it comes to an unhealthy relationship "NO" is the most important word.

I would like to say that I'm happy your here. You are taking the necessary steps to change your situation. Being in a place of hurt and pain is not the way you should live.

Saving yourself a life full of pain and misery, No is the most important word in your relationship. When you live with a narcissist your life depends on it. 

I understand that it is hard to believe that someone you love could or would abuse your generosity and take advantage of you. You can't fathom that being kind, and nice could attract someone this cruel in your life. 

We end up walking through life with this emotional pretense that this couldn't be happening to us. We continue sending ourselves warm thoughts that he didn't mean any harm or we miss understood his intentions just so we don't fall apart. 

I used to give him a pass on a regular basis. My thoughts were, If he's kind to me at times, then I can work with this and maybe make him see that we have something amazing and special. I developed a very hard time saying no and stopping the abuse. My courage facing him went to the waste side and I became very vulnerable. In reality, he wasn't able to share the love with me or anyone. I refused to give up and was determined to show him how wonderful life would be. It simply never occurred to me that I was heading down a path of destruction and pain.

Please use the word "NO" every chance you get. This is a game-changer for your life going forward. It validates who you are and what you will put up with. Without you putting your foot down, your life will be nothing but chaos. No, is the most powerful word used in any relationship. It sets the stage for your self-worth. Using this word takes you out of fear, and unleashes your power. The narcissist will not challenge you. You are not budging and he will eventually leave. He will get it through his thick skin he has no control over you, and as we all know they need to have control. That's what gives them power and gratification. They must have the spotlight. Don't worry your head, you left no room for arguments. You cleaned up this mess fairly quickly. 

I'm a woman who found herself in this position and used this through her darkest times. Waking up praising God, and asking for strength. Never gave up hope and never giving up on me. I will not let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is incredible. Don't waste another minute. There is nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice. 

Reach out to me, and will guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. I have turned my prayers into meditations, that are helping women across the country rise beyond their pain. 

Click the link below. 

https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations

Have a blessed day

www.coffeewithamilia.com

www.valueurself.com

Reach out anytime. amiliapowers@gmail.com

Amilia Powers

Him against me everyday--Narcissist Abuse

Days of pain blend into one another

First I want to say I'm happy your here, and you are taking the necessary steps to change your circumstances. Being in a place of pain and torment is not the way love is supposed to feel.

It was him against me day after day. I could never understand his anger, his hateful heart. His words were like venom piercing through my body. I became numb to life. I refused to recognize that someone could be that hateful and poisonous. 

The consistent contradictions were the most confusing. Did you ever hear the saying, "words can be deceiving" Trust me they are? We try so hard to see the good from the hate, and this causes more hurt than we have ever anticipated. 

I have to say the obvious thing I overlooked, was his actions consistently reinforced exactly who he was and what he was all about. I actually found myself defending him to everyone for his unacceptable behavior. It's crazy but not unusual to defend someone you are with and love. The twist to this is that I communicated through my actions that it was alright to treat me badly. 

It's wonderful to have compassion with the one you love, but we must acknowledge what's not okay. We must stop feeling It's our responsibility for them. They are responsible for their actions and life. No one has a right to play on your emotions and take every ounce of joy and happiness from you. Our smile is our world, our laughter represents the joy the good Lord gave us. No one is entitled to that, only to share it with us.

What is sad was he would always play on my excitement and squash it every chance he had. I was living in darkness in my heart, my smile and laugh erased. I became dead to life. I was living as if I was two different people. My work life and my home life. I conditioned myself to shut off power to all happiness before I got home. I couldn't allow pretending to be happy tumble over in my reality that was in my home.

Considering all the baggage I had to carry around, I feel thankful and grateful that I was able to remove myself from an abusive relationship. I prayed for strength and prayed for guidance. I'm the woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A woman who found her way through the darkest of times. I woke up every morning and every night praising God, and never gave up hope. I praised him in good times, and in bad times. He saw me through. I never gave up on me. I will never let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you through your present situations. For more information, click the link below. My prayers I turned into meditations, that helped women rise beyond their pain.

https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time to reach you.
www.coffeewithamilia.com

Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com