What Have I Done?--Narcissist Abuse

 

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

To the outside world, I was "typical." A young woman, divorced, a mother of two small children-nothing really out of the ordinary. Getting married so young had led to getting divorced young. My husband and I both wanted to live different lives. It was an inevitable ending to something that had happened far too early in our lives. 

As I moved on with my life, I  struggled financially, but I was determined to make it. I knew what I wanted. I stayed focused, saved, and purchased a home, only to realize that it took a lot of money to maintain that home. I had to get a second job to better support myself and provide for the kids. There were no other options and I wanted everything to work out. Yet, nothing was great. Working wasn't my problem. I wasn't afraid of hard work, I was more successful at attracting the wrong kind of men than I realized.

As time moved on and I met a man. He was wonderful and treated me the way every girl dreams of being treated. I mistook that for the amazing love and unfortunately, it turned into pain and torment. My fear of letting go consumed me because I loved him and wanted it to work, all I felt and tried to hold onto was the day we met. I also had to settle for a second job that I didn't like, long dreadful hours that was physically exhausting but felt I needed. I wasn't happy. I was trying to keep up appearances. There was no balance or harmony in my life anywhere. Furthermore, knowing that I was responsible was agonizing. My life deteriorated and unraveled. I didn't like the person I turned into, becoming more distant from my life and never finding peace. I was just existing. 

I began journaling my everyday encounter with him. How it was impacting my life. Writing everything down in a journal was my release. I emptied my thoughts of emotional pain, and verbal abuse, helped me get through one more day. I needed to unload, and felt this was the only way to stay strong. 

It was that one day, I knew I had to admit to myself if I was going to become more invested in my life than just one more day I would need to take control of what is happening in my life. The stress was overwhelming, no rest. The kids were unhappy. I couldn't believe what I was writing in my journal. Who lives like this. Under these conditions of so much hostility, anger, and violence. 

I made this a habit in my life. Like waking up every day and brushing my teeth. You know when your life is spiraling out of control when you know what is going to happen the next day. There wasn't any joy to look forward to. This was the lowest point of my life. When the voices inside your head are screaming at you to make a change now. Not next week, next month. Today.

That one question that changed my life. "Is this the LIFE you dreamed of? 

From that day forward, my life did a 360 without hesitation. I believe I stuck it out as long as I could. There wasn't any change in sight. I hoped and prayed that whatever was going on with him would change, but it was getting worse. The memory I held onto the day we first met faded away. 

When the relationship came to a close, it was a violent ending to something that should have happened months ago. I wasn't frightened. I prayed and stayed in faith throughout the relationship and I believed that whatever was going to happen would be the best for me and my family.

Don't wait. Love is not unkind. Happiness and joy are apart of sharing. Always be honest with yourself. If you are not excited about your life and are treated in a way that drains your spirit, please make that change. Love is such a precious gift from God. No one has the right to take it. Let love, and faith guide your life, you can't make any mistakes with that. 

A part of this is written from my upcoming book "PAIN BEHIND BROKEN VASES" the book goes into more detail. This is a summary. It will definitely keep you at the edge of your seat. You will be in suspense throughout the novel. Check it out, by clicking the links below.

 www.valueruself.com or 

www.coffeewithamilia.com

During this time of struggle, I was able to create "Personalize Meditations" that are helping thousands of women across the country overcome obstacles they thought were impossible.

Start Now. Live the life you are created to live.

Join Me Today

If you are stuck join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my "Personalize Meditations"

Click the link below the picture and act NOW, and
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Be blessed, I look forward to hearing from you. 

Amilia Powers

                                                        

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Saying "NO" to a Narcissist

When it comes to an unhealthy relationship "NO" is the most important word.

I would like to say that I'm happy your here. You are taking the necessary steps to change your situation. Being in a place of hurt and pain is not the way you should live.

Saving yourself a life full of pain and misery, No is the most important word in your relationship. When you live with a narcissist your life depends on it. 

I understand that it is hard to believe that someone you love could or would abuse your generosity and take advantage of you. You can't fathom that being kind, and nice could attract someone this cruel in your life. 

We end up walking through life with this emotional pretense that this couldn't be happening to us. We continue sending ourselves warm thoughts that he didn't mean any harm or we miss understood his intentions just so we don't fall apart. 

I used to give him a pass on a regular basis. My thoughts were, If he's kind to me at times, then I can work with this and maybe make him see that we have something amazing and special. I developed a very hard time saying no and stopping the abuse. My courage facing him went to the waste side and I became very vulnerable. In reality, he wasn't able to share the love with me or anyone. I refused to give up and was determined to show him how wonderful life would be. It simply never occurred to me that I was heading down a path of destruction and pain.

Please use the word "NO" every chance you get. This is a game-changer for your life going forward. It validates who you are and what you will put up with. Without you putting your foot down, your life will be nothing but chaos. No, is the most powerful word used in any relationship. It sets the stage for your self-worth. Using this word takes you out of fear, and unleashes your power. The narcissist will not challenge you. You are not budging and he will eventually leave. He will get it through his thick skin he has no control over you, and as we all know they need to have control. That's what gives them power and gratification. They must have the spotlight. Don't worry your head, you left no room for arguments. You cleaned up this mess fairly quickly. 

I'm a woman who found herself in this position and used this through her darkest times. Waking up praising God, and asking for strength. I never gave up hope and never giving up on me. I will not let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is incredible. Don't waste another minute. There is nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice. 

Reach out to me, and will guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. I have turned my prayers into meditations, that are helping women across the country rise beyond their pain. 

Click the link below. 

https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations

Have a blessed day

www.coffeewithamilia.com

www.valueurself.com

Reach out anytime. amiliapowers@gmail.com

Amilia Powers

When the Pain is Deep--Narcissist Abuse

No one knows how it feels, to go through this pain

I have women emailing me all the time about people in their lives trying to tell them how they should feel and what they should do about their situation and have no clue what it's like to be hurt by someone they love. Yes, I get this very well. It is very difficult to take advice from someone who doesn't understand the depth of your pain because they have never had to deal with it, but they seem to be experts in the field.

The unfortunate part of this we begin to get frustrated and misunderstood. Now you start to believe that it's something you've done. Not only do you have your own situation to focus on, and you're trying your hardest to figure out the next steps you need to take, you have other people in the mix, which has caused more confusion, and are making matters worse for you. You feel you should have just kept things to yourself.

Eventually, what happens here, we let go of the need to explain ourselves and our situation to others. We pull back and stay alone in thought, and try to figure things out on our own and wish we had some support. But the last thing we need is to get into a disagreement or argument over what is happening in our life. Because someone feels they know more about it than you do.

I found myself always on the defensive. Too many questions about why.

1. Why did you let your situation go so far?

2. Why didn't you call for help?

3. Why did you allow him to hurt you?

4. Why didn't you stand up for yourself?

These questions obviously came from people who have absolutely no right to ask them. Why you might ask because they weren't living my life or your life. They don't understand the circumstances. Did you ever hear that saying? "You will never understand until it happens to you" This saying holds merit.

We really didn't need people telling us everything is fine now, or this will pass or you'll get over it. Ect...

What we were looking for or still are seeking is understanding, compassion, and support. While we figure things out and collect our lives and begin to put the pieces back together that are scattered like confetti everywhere we turn.

By telling someone, you should have done this or that would make them feel like a failure, they would begin to second guess themselves. No, advise here not needed. This person needs encouragement and someone to listen.

Don't judge, no one deserves to be judged going through a difficult time. If they cry they need to get it out. That's not a sign of weakness, this is something that needs to take place, all apart of the healing process. If they don't look as if they are put together, keep your comments to yourself. They will get better without your foolish remarks.

You obviously do not know what someone is going through, so have some compassion, and reassure them that they are not alone. Getting out of bed is the most difficult task in many cases. They are most likely facing many challenges ahead.

Everyone has their own stuff, is that fair to say? We are still responsible for how we treat others. Many situations take longer for most people to even understand. Healing is endless. Things will come up in their daily lives, such as memories, thoughts of pain, and hurt that will bring sorrow. Like a replay button that doesn't stop. It turns the emotional gauge higher and lower depending on the day. As time goes on it becomes lighter and easier to deal with. Until then. Love

Love them and show support all the time. Share joy and kindness. This is the most effective way that a person who is broken will feel the most supported. Did you ever hear the saying?
"love conquers all"

Remember a very important golden role: "We Rise By Helping Others"


We are stronger together. Strength runs in numbers.

Click the link below, and live the life you are created to live. 

If you are stuck, join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my "Personalize Meditations"

I have created a special addition to my meditation practices. It is back from popular demand. It is "Personalized Meditations" Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems. 

We are excited to share this with you, start today.


https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations

The biggest myth is people believing to not shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the meditation is personalized you tune right into your life and solution.

There isn't any sound or noise that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.

Be blessed,
I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message and the best time to reach you.
I will guide you through the process
Amilia
amiliapowers@gmail.com


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2 Steps to Move Forward from a Breakup--Narcissist Abuse

HOW DO I MOVE FORWARD FROM A BREAKUP??

We have so much to do. 

I get several emails per-day, asking me how do I get rid of the thoughts of my ex-boyfriend, ex-husband...etc..?

This is a very important question. Getting rid of thoughts of your ex, vs making those thoughts less powerful in your mind are two different things. In order to lessen the focus, I have two suggestions.

#1. Let's begin to unclutter those thoughts.

Walk around your home, and look to see what you have. Do you have pictures of him, that keep you up all night? Do you have items that he gave to you, that turn your stomach into knots?
The biggest thing, that women do not like to part with is clothing and jewelry. It is time to begin to unclutter your feelings. Keeping things around that remind you of hurt and pain is not going to do you any justice. Do you really need that shirt, pants or purse? These items can be replaced. You were able to buy these things before he entered your life, and you can get them now. It doesn't make you feel any better every time you reach into your bag and have that reminder of the hurt you endured. I recommend you do this gently, and when you are ready, if you can give away, one item a day, you will lighten up your heart.

#2. Stop talking about your EX with friends and family.

Don't bring him up in conversation, and don't invite chatter from anyone. This will help you become stronger with your present life. You will be able to enjoy new things, make fresh memories, and bring back your smile, and the laugh that you didn't have for some time. It's time to stop living in the past.

If you have people in your life that will not stop gossiping and keep bringing him up, then you need to distance yourself from their life. I know this is hard to do, but you have to do it in order to have peace. People must learn to respect your wishes. Unfortunately, we have to teach them to do so.  If they love you they would do this for you, knowing what your going through. The less Chit Chat you hear about him the better you will feel. Start speaking about things you look forward to and want to experience. Fill your heart with excitement and joy. This is your time. Begin living for your future and stop living in the past.

Contact me at www.coffeewithamilia.com
You don't have to do this alone.
Have a blessed day. I have many blogs right here that will help you.
Please go through them.
Amilia Powers

Click the link below. I have an ebook you should pick up for this particular situation, it will guide you, and prepare you for the things you must do to begin living the life you are created to live.

https://valueurself.com/…/pro…/attract-the-love-of-your-life

Begin today and apologize to yourself for everything that has happened to you. Keep your faith close and God first. I wish you an incredible start to a new journey.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Amilia

#VALUEURSELF #Breakingyoursilence #youareworthy #amiliapowers #amiliaauthorwriterspeaker #loveyourself #nomoreselfpitty #youarevaluable #coffeewithamilia

When Does The Pain End?--Narcissist Abuse

FREEDOM FROM ABUSE 

 I would like to start by saying that it is natural to be uncertain when the pain will end. When an abusive relationship comes to a close, it brings a major shift in our thoughts and feelings. So much to adjust to. We are kicked off balance, that knowing what to do first becomes difficult and messy.

Many things to do and our heart is doing loops trying it's hardest to stay together because we have work and children we need to be strong. All you can say to yourself is what happened in my life. There is no one around, you spent all your time with your abuser, he made you feel that there isn't anyone who will ever care for you as much he has. Your negative thoughts rush through your head hour after hour.

You're watching the clock hoping and wishing that a call will come in so you can get some type of closure to the pain you are feeling. The most important thing to understand is that it's ok to feel this way. 

What you don't realize is that the moment the abuser left your life, is when that very instant your healing began. The feelings that you are having is the first part of the rest of your life.

You might not understand right away the term of events that took place, because you have done everything you could to keep him happy and your entire self and energy were being attentive to his every whim. 

At the same time, you should feel the burden removed from your life. The darkness around your heart lifted, the air in your home is fresher. As you look around you don't see any more pain. You don't feel any more anxiety about him coming through the front door. You are no longer afraid of what could happen next when his car pulls into the driveway, or most importantly what hurtful messages will come out of his mouth that will cause you to have sleepless nights. 

Begin to feel the joy of his absence. Start embracing your freedom from abuse. Connect to your family and friends, continue to throw out the remains that were left behind of his rath. Take time for yourself by reaching out to talk about what transpired and get it out of your heart. You probably held it in for so long it is time to get rid of it. 

Be around supportive and understanding people. Hug your loved ones and open up to their warmth and kindness. The more you surround yourself with comfort, then you will begin to gain courage and become stronger to handle all tasks that are ahead. It will help you break through any confusion you have left. The blame game you have been throwing around in your mind. As time goes by your negative feelings will lessen. With your strong support, the pain that you once felt will be called memory. 

Where ever you begin. Pursue peace and joy. Please Please, remember what happened in your life and never allow him to come back and never let anyone hurt, pain, or abuse you in any way ever again. The first curse, the first slap, the first sign of disrespect is more than you will put up with. 

There is nothing more powerful than a woman who puts her foot down and takes a stand for her life and value.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time 
to reach you.

Learn more about me
by visiting my websites:

www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com


Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com

#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship #narcissist #narcissism 
#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse 

Novelty Seeking Narcissist--How to Deal

NOVELTY SEEKERS

Unfortunately, there are people like this in our society. Men who stifle the joy out of our hearts. Trust gives us the ability to believe in a person. It builds strength in our relationships forever. It's an unbreakable bond.

Men who chase you with everything they have and profess their love to you with all the right words and actions. Who could resist the joy and happiness it brings into our life?

The first date with flowers and laughs, holding hands. How can you not fall for a man who is treating you like all the fairytales you read since you were a child? It seems too good to be true, and you're immediately smitten by him. 

He is enjoying the excitement just as much as you. Warm kisses, long nights and dinners together, you feel this must be the one. He is chasing you, and you love the attention it has brought to your heart. All you can think about or feel is a man who really likes you and loves being with you. 

Although, there is a twist to this love story that you didn't see coming. These Narcissists Novelty Seekers are not in it for the long run. They get bored rather quickly. Then it happens, tables turn on you all of a sudden and you find yourself trying to figure out what you did wrong. You begin to chase him, texts, calls. You might even stop at his place to try to understand why he lost interest. 

He locked your mind and energy into thinking that there might be a chance of forever. But all he wants is a good time until he finds someone else. You don't understand at this point why this is happening because you are so involved and wrapped up with your feelings. You are not reading the writing on the wall. He is creating a circle of women so he can recycle them when he needs to. Each one of you hoping and wishing you would get picked. 

He withdrew and backed up from seeing you. Not interested in the relationship at all. The only thing that brought him excitement was the chase which he already concurred what he needed from you and there was nothing left for him. He knows you are stuck in disbelief he will text and call if he is bored or wants to get together. You still feel that when you receive his text, that there still might be a chance with him. Heart struck on the first date, In your mind, you can not let go. You become drawn into his supply.  

Sometimes, we get lost in the happy moments of our relationship to the extent we forget all the unhappiness it brings us. If you feel your situation is leaving you more frustrated and unhappy more often than not; if your relationship has you in tears and sleepless nights, perhaps this is not a person you need to devote all your energy and joy to. If the main source of your happiness is the first time you met, it is not enough to sustain love with this person. 

We must remember our relationships exist in the present moments. Not a distant memory. It's not a reason to stay together. The decision you make on whether or not to stay with this person should be based on your current situation. You should know exactly where you are and how you feel and what you need to do.


I can tell you what I think you should do...

I can tell you this. You will not be at his beck and call and run every time he asks. They will try everything possible to get your attention to a meeting, no response is your answer. You will not put up with him treating you with disrespect and total disregard. You will not play second fiddle to anyone and allow your heart to be torn apart.

A narcissist loves to keep you on your toes, it's what they know how to do best. They don't want you to feel secure with yourself and safe in the relationship. It makes them feel wonderful inside when you feel insecure they get a sense of enraged power as if they can do anything to you and you will do nothing in return.

You will not continue to move in their direction because if you do, you will find yourself with your back against the wall and nowhere to turn.

They have given you an option and showed you what life is like with them. It's up to you to either release them from your life or continue on the path for destruction??


WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO??

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time 
to reach you.

Learn more about me
by visiting my websites:

www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com


Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com

#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship #narcissist #narcissism 
#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse 

3 Ways to Faith During Abuse--Narcissist Abuse

HOLD YOUR HEAD UP

Being abused and mistreated by the one we love is the most stressful and draining experience any woman can ever go through. It is difficult to see clearly because we are in such disbelief what is happening to your life.  The entire situation has depleted all of your energy and we don't know where to turn.

Our circumstances become extremely complicated. Between worrying about Finances and where to go if we leave. Fear sets in and takes over our thoughts. We are not even thinking about the abuse anymore, our life becomes a deeper more intense position to figure out. Our heart is on our children and ourselves. Safety is a big issue and no plans in sight.

We understand that things need to change, life is not supposed to be full of torment and pain. I have faith and I know God's life for me is so much better. I need the courage to find a way out of this abusive relationship. I must save myself and my family life of grief from a monster.

God has always been the center of my life. I understood how powerful prayers can be. I believe in my heart God hears us and he is working behind the scenes to help even though we think we are forgotten. Having faith and trusting God through our pain and suffering gives us hope and eases our burden. Handing our situation over to him and telling him we can't do this alone helps us continue moving forward with peace in our hearts knowing things will work out for our better good no matter what is happening at present.

I would like to share with you three areas that have helped me and I believe will help you

TRUST YOUR PLAN

1.  We get discouraged and afraid when our life slams us to the floor and we find ourselves on our knees begging and pleating for something or anything, anyone to walk in and pick us up and make things better. We wonder, Where is God? Does he see this? Can he hear me? The answer to these questions is Yes, he can. He knows what is happening, he knows you need help. 

Continue to pray and take action. The Bible says to walk out our faith. Trust that you are being led by the Holy Spirit and you will overcome. When I was going through struggles I prayed and took action I didn't sit down and do nothing, I trusted God and he sent me everyone I needed to help me. 

HAVING HOPE 

2. In our life of chaos, we feel there is very little hope to change our situation. However, God is never caught off guard or by surprise. God knows the future, after all, he is our creator. It's not unusual to lose faith and believe the thought of hope is too far out of reach. Pain can take away hope.

Hope is knowing for certain that God will never allow us to suffer. There is nothing on earth more
certain than hope in God. He will never leave us nor forsake us.

Every one of us at one time or another suffered from some kind of trial. Life isn't easy. God works our sadness, and painful times together for our good. Don't give up. Keep hoping and continue to pray and be patient for God's timing. Stay Strong, keep faith in your heart, and have hope for days ahead and your future. You will never be disappointed.


STAY IN FAITH

3. Faith is an important part of healing through the pain. Faith gives us the strength we need to take that next step when we don't have the energy to do it alone. Faith fuels us with love and kindness that we need for our families and ourselves. Faith puts a smile in our heart and a sparkle of joy in our eyes when all we see is darkness. Faith is encouragement and comfort when things are out of hand. Did you ever hear someone say "just have faith, it will work out?" That's what faith is. 

Faith is everything. Trust, hope, assurance, and belief that God will carry you through any difficulty you have and make sure you are stronger and better than you were. Faith comes before a prayer is answered. Faith is believing that God is watching over you.  

Yes, Faith is Everything...

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A woman who found her way through the darkest of times. I woke up every morning praising God, and never giving up hope. I praised him in good times, and when I was cursed at. He saw me through. I never gave up on me. I will never let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time 
to reach you.

Learn more about me
by visiting my websites:

www.coffeewithamilia.com
www.valueurself.com


Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com

#amiliapowers #valueurself #coffeewithamilia 
#pain #toxicrelationship
#painfulrelationship #narcissist #narcissism 
#domesticviolence #narcissistabuse