2 Reasons we must admit abuse--Narcissist

When your mind won't let you admit what happened.

First I would like to say that I'm happy your here. Breaking up is never easy, especially under these conditions. Confusion and self-doubt begin to fester in our hearts. There will never be a clear reason when dealing with a narcissist during a break-up.

Complicated grief sets in. We believed he was the one. We start to second guess and question everything we said or did. Replaying certain scenarios in our head trying to find a solution. We are on a mission to blame ourselves. We want to dissect every moment we had together to find fault with what we did. With pressure from our heart telling us he's perfect, and we will never find anyone else. We become lost in the moment and not what actually happened to us.

It's okay to replay the relationship in our minds, but we must remember what the relationship was really like. The pain and torment. How you were treated and disrespected. Don't pause your thoughts the first time you met, when everything seemed like a fairytale, he presented himself as prince charming.


1. In order to overcome the pain and hurt we have endured, the first thing that needs to happen is to Admit that he is a fraud. He is not the man he portrayed himself to be. He is a master manipulator, a man full of lies and deception. He appears strong, but the truth is, he is a coward and very needy. He lives in a dark and lonely world of his own and doesn't want to live in darkness by himself. The agenda for the narcissist is for you to feel what he is truly about. Unfortunately, that means the abuse of all levels.



2. We must admit that living an abusive life is not the way we want to be loved. We have to re-evaluate what love really means to us. Looking deep in our hearts will help us find the answers. Asking ourselves very important questions about our situation will help us walk through the many challenges we will face coming out of a place of pain. The most important question I ever asked myself was, "Is this the kind of love I always dreamed of?" I bet you know the answer to that.


Come out of his darkness....

Being pained and hurt every day by a man is not the loving relationship we were hoping for. We are incredible women and deserve to be in a loving partnership with a person who adores us and does everything in his power to protects us.

Yes, we must not forget what took place in our darkest hour so we will never let this pain ever happen to us again. I know the torment was a lot for me, how about you?

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A woman who found her way through the darkest of times. I woke up every morning praising God, and never giving up hope. I praised him in good times, and when I was cursed at. He saw me through. I never gave up on me. I will never let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, remember that. 

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.

I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you through your present situations. For more information, click the link below. My prayers I turned into meditations, that helped women rise beyond their pain.

https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s 

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.

Leave me a message, and the best time to reach you.

www.coffeewithamilia.com

Amilia Powers

Hiding Behind a Poker Face--Narcissist Abuse

HIDING YOUR THOUGHTS

Expressing our feelings after a very difficult and painful situation is a job in its self. We begin to pull away from people, friends family ect....

During this time of the abuse, we stayed quiet. Our laugh was so far out of our reach, it wasn't a thought, and talking about our situation isn't an option. Our silence took that part of us. We begin each day alone. Stuck with so many unanswered questions. Why did he have to abuse me? Why didn't he just leave? Why is he so angry? What did I do in my life to deserve this? What did I do to him? At this point, you don't care about love. Only how you were treated. No one has permission to do this to anyone.

Hiding our heartache we feel was the only way to deal with the unpleasant trauma. You ask why? I will tell you. No one understands unless they have been through this themselves. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever reached for a smile you couldn't find? The laughter you couldn't hear? A voice that couldn't speak?

Getting up was difficult, hesitating in the morning, but we do because we have to. We are not looking forward to questions from people, neither at our jobs nor our personal life. As we go through our day, we begin to play a game with our feelings and walk around with a "Poker Face." Maintaining a neutral face, and protecting our feelings was a hard task.

For those of you who don't know. A "Poker Face" is one expression that hides your true feelings. A blank face, no joy, happiness or any facial remarks.

Time to grieve is a must under any circumstances letting the dust settle was highly effective for me. Not because of the loss of a man, but what I have endured. We need time to drain the poison that has been given to us. (The physical and emotional abuse that we dealt with. Nasty bitter anger, that came out of a miserable man.) That once held our happiness in the grips of his hands.

I came home from work one day it was late. Took a shower and settled in my room. No Television, no computer, no phone. I sat on my bed and began to pray. I got up the courage to ask the Lord what are my next steps. I told him I was very hurt the way I was treated. I cried, I told him everything that my heart was holding onto and asked him to take the pain from me. I did this every night I came home. I wanted to smile and laugh again. I missed it so much. I asked the Lord to help me put my life back together.

I took out my notebook and started writing down my prayers and what I asked of the Lord. I became stronger and healthier over time. I began to turn my world around. I was able to smile and laugh and find joy in things that I never knew existed. I spoke hope to my heart, and love to my life. I stood in faith and began to live the life I was meant to live. Praying helped me focus on my issue and find a solution. I have people gravitating to me from all over, wanting to know how I changed my life, and how they can start and change theirs.

Today I'm helping thousands of women change their lives with my personalized meditations. 

The biggest myth is people believing that they cannot shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the Meditation is personalized, you tune right into your life and solution. There isn't any sound that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.

Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems.  We are excited to share this with you. Click the link below the photo for more information.

If you are going through any difficulties. Please click this link, Let me guide you and help you take that next step in your life. You can email me with any questions, or concerns who may have.

https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations/products/personalized-meditations

amiliapowers@gmail.com

I look forward to working with you. 

Be blessed

Amilia

#freespiritwoman #lifecoach #spiritualcoach #coach #spirituality

#enlightenment #truth #healingmeditation #valueurself #intuitive

#meditate #awakening #mindset #quotestoliveby #wordstoliveby
#positivity #womenempoweringwomen #guidance #wellness

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#coffeewithamilia

You have the Upper Hand on your Life 

How Do You Heal from?--Narcissist Abuse

When your mind knows more than your heart is telling you.

I would like to first congratulate you on getting a toxic person out of your life. Abuse is not the way to live. It is the most difficult process you have to ever deal with. You literally had to manipulate yourself out of a situation that you knew was dangerous knowing you will be torn up emotionally from the aftermath, saving yourself is the only thing on your mind.

What you tell yourself is, healing through the pain and hurt is a far cry from staying with a man who has tormented and emotionally abused you day in and day out. You found this amazing strength through and power having your life back. It hasn't been easy, but it's a relief, and the burden has lifted. You are doing everything you can to stay strong and together because you understand better days are coming and it is all in a matter of time that his true colors will be shown to the world. There is not much you have to do or say to anyone, his actions will speak for themselves. 

You wake up in the morning putting your best foot forward working through the cobwebs in your mind of what just happened and dusting yourself off. Encouraging yourself that "You Got This." You continue on your day,  at times cried your eyes out and there are days you feel so powerful that you feel unstoppable. Your gaining power through the motions. You know you will be alright, and you keep the faith and never give up. 

As your days come to a close, and your home after a long day at work. You have dinner, and you sit silently and pray every night, and thank God for giving you the strength to get out of the abusive relationship and a chance to live a life you are created to live. A life that brings you laugher, and joy. Reconnecting with your family and friends. You feel the smile that you longed for. 

Even with your everyday struggle between your heart and mind, you knew there was no chance of changing your situation unless you took the steps to do it yourself. Understanding that it would have gotten worse, and your position harder to overcome, there was no better time than now to remove yourself from his poison. The back and forth, love and hate, abuse, and pretend took a lot of you. It was enough. 

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A woman who found her way through the darkest of times. I woke up every morning praising God, and never giving up hope. I praised him in good times, and when I was cursed at. He saw me through. I never gave up on me. I will never let you give up on you.

Having love in our lives is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and has her voice, please remember that.

You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you through the process. I will answer any questions or concerns you may have.

I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you through your present situations. For more information, click the link below. My prayers I turned into meditations, that helped women rise beyond their pain.

https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s

https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time to reach you.
www.coffeewithamilia.com

Amelia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com

I Understand The Pain--Narcissist Abuse

How Can I Add Forgiveness To My Pain

In the article, Who are we convincing? We spoke about understanding where you are in your relationship, there was a question I asked you to read. If you didn't get a chance to read this article, please do so. This is a continuation of our conversation. What did you feel about your answer? Here is the question again. How long can we continue to play a convincing role with ourselves and the people around us? We are playing hardball with our hearts. Stop It.

The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy. When was the last time you felt loved? 

Understanding your pain is very important. When we acknowledge that love isn't supposed to feel any way but incredible, we need to change our circumstances. 

We have to stop telling ourselves that we love the person who is hurting us. We tend to make this mistake time and time again. We must stop believing that they will change, and treat us better. We have already trained them to treat us disrespectfully. We must take responsibility for our happiness because they will not, and they will continue doing to us what we allow them to do.

I understand your pain because I have been there. The best thing I have ever done was being able to understand my pain, and where it was coming from. First, don't blame yourself for falling in love with the wrong person, and secondly, don't punish yourself for simply being human. Most importantly you should not keep this inside. You will begin to feel frustrated and alone. Third, please forgive yourself, because it's not your battle, it's theirs.

No one deserves to live alone in a relationship. When you are going through this, it feels as if no one can hear you. You become completely silent, and your silence begins working against you. Your heart shuts down to the outside world. At this point you would like someone, anyone, to pull you out of this bad dream. 

It's very important to understand, that people who hurt others intentionally are people who are hurt themselves. This is no excuse for their behavior, and you should never accept this type of treatment. They need to take responsibility for themselves and get some help. You are not their savior.

While they are trying to figure out themselves, you need to begin to start to make some decisions. I have two questions for you.

1. Are you willing to compromise your happiness, your joy, and your life and stay in a destructive relationship?

2. Are you going to take complete control and responsibility of your life, and your happiness, and begin to live the life you were created to live?

This is a very difficult time, but it isn't a difficult choice. It's alright to be upset, It's not wrong to cry.
What's wrong is to be with someone hurtful, and unkind, who has no regard for you.

Please speak to family friends, and explain to them what is going on in your life. I'm sure they will be open and understanding and helpful. You have hidden your pain from everyone, and it's time to let them know what is happening so they can help guide you and protect you while you go through these challenges.

You can reach out to me, and leave me a message and the best time to reach you. I will do my best to help you through the process.

www.valueurself.com


I recommend you try my series of MP3's, Meditations. "Healing The Broken Hearted" is the one I would start with, in this situation. This helped me through a very dark time in my life, and I know it will help you.

This meditation is for those seeking to mend their broken heart and wanting to ease their pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

You will be guided with comfort, renew your strength, and feel your power restored.

Click the link below for more information.

https://valueurself.com/collections/meditation-mp3s/products/healing-the-broken-hearted-meditation

Learn more about me and what I do. 
www.coffeewithamilia.com 

You are not alone, 
Be Blessed
Amilia

Watch for the next article, I will begin to answer email questions right here.
I'm blessed to be with you. Be safe. Have a great weekend. We will talk Sunday.


#freespiritwoman #lifecoach#spiritualcoach #coach #spirituality
#enlightenment #truth#healingmeditation #valueurself #intuitive
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#oprah #oprahsbookclub 

When the Unthinkable Happened--Painful Relationship

when courage is the only option

I would like to tell you a story, about a young woman that touched my heart. She is twenty-five (25) years of age, lives with her boyfriend, and has two small children.

Her boyfriend had a hard time keeping a job, They barely made ends meet. Being poor became a lifestyle. The young woman beyond everything that they were going through, stayed in good spirits, and never gave up hope that one-day things will change.

The children wore clothing that was passed down from other families in the area with the help of the women at their community food pantry where she received food for her children. She was always very gracious, thankful, and grateful for everything she was given, even if the clothes didn't fit too big or too small she made it work.

One day, early afternoon her boyfriend came home from work. The kids were excited to see their dad. He gave a quick hello and proceeded to their bedroom. She knew something was wrong. He didn't say one word to her. She followed him and asked him what was wrong, and he didn't look at her and said he lost his job. He took out a duffle bag from the closet and began to pack it with his clothes, emptying his drawers. She asked him, "what are you doing?" he didn't say a word, and handed her $15.00 dollars and some change in her hand and left.

The children jumped up when the door slammed shut and hugged their mom while asking her what was wrong with dad. She cleared her throat and answered, that everything is alright. We are going to make it. Her mind was racing. She knew that the next trip to the pantry for food wasn't for another couple of days. She needed to think quickly on her feet. The children will need dinner tonight and breakfast in the morning.

She figured, she can get to the store, and buy breakfast food, she would be able to make french toast for dinner, and scrambled eggs in the morning, until she can make a plan on what to do next. She dressed the kids, and put them in the truck, and started off to the store. Now the truck was very old. It had different size tires on it, the passenger side window was taped with cardboard, but she didn't have any other options. She didn't even have time to think about her boyfriend. Her mission was to take care of her kids.

She pulled into the parking lot of the store and parked the truck, and got out. Grabbed the nearest buggy and put the kids in it and began to walk towards the entrance. As she was pushing the carriage, she watched people point fingers at her, and laugh, they were making fun of the way the children were dressed. She did the best she could with what they had. Nothing fit. The dress was too big, and the socks didn't match. She looked at her kids and said we are going to make it. An elderly gentleman was walking by and noticed what was happening, and said hello to her and the kids, and told them they all look wonderful. Then continued to walk to the deli next to the grocery store.

She knows she only has $15.00 dollars and needs to be careful about the prices of the items. She picked up a dozen and a half of eggs, small milk, and a loaf of bread, butter, and syrup. She did really well at check out and had some money left over. She had a sigh of relief.

As they were exiting the store, it began to rain very hard. She didn't have an umbrella to cover the kids. She looked around and grabbed some outdated newspaper that was outside under the awning and told the children to hold them over their heads, and they were going to play a game. On a count to three, they will run to the car. They laughed and smiled and had so much fun.

She put them in the truck and pushed the buggy away, and as she was looking back, she noticed the elderly man who walked by them earlier, staring at her through the window of the deli. She got into the truck and tried to start it. She tried several times, but the truck wouldn't start.

The kids noticed that there was something wrong. She began to cry. The kids were hungry and cold. and started to become upset, and cry. She laid her head on the steering wheel and asked God to please help them. She told him she didn't know what else to do. She begged him to please help her and the kids. It didn't seem like there was any help in sight. She began to lose hope.

She heard a tap on the driver's side window. She hesitated to look up, she heard it again louder this time. It was the elderly man. He told her not to worry. I'm not here to hurt you. I noticed you are having trouble getting started. He explained, he bought the children chicken fingers and french fries and chocolate milk and bought her a sandwich. She couldn't thank him enough. He told her to open the hood of the truck so he can give her a jump start so she can get home. She began to tell him that she doesn't know how to repay him. He told her he is here to help and is not looking for payment.

He jump-started the car. He told her to be careful driving home. He handed her money to buy a battery.  She thanked him and said, I can't accept this. You are very generous. He told her to please take it. She told him she was very grateful for his help. She didn't know what to do if he wasn't there to help her. She thanked him again and drove off, and they waved to each other.

The children ate all their dinner and were so excited to have their bellies full. It was like going through the drive-through. She felt so blessed and happy to see her kids smiling and alright.

They pulled up to the house. She took the kids out of the truck, and the bag of groceries.  She took off the children's damp clothes and put on their nightshirts, brushed their teeth, and put them to bed. The oldest child looked up at his mom and said we are going to make it. She smiled and said, "yes we are."

Our strength goes beyond physical strength. The power within us is our courage to never give up and to face our challenges. Our inner strength helps us to stand tall when all else fails. Our strength comes through prayer and believing you can overcome.


If you are stuck, join thousands of women who have changed their life with "Personalized Meditations." They are living the life they are created to live.

I have created a special addition to my meditation practices. It is back from popular demand. It is "Personalized Meditations" Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems. 

We are excited to share this with you: 

For more information, click the link below. Learn more about me at www.coffeewithamilia.com


https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations

The biggest myth is people believing to not shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the meditation is personalized you tune right into your life and solution.

There isn't any sound that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.

Be blessed,
I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message and the best time to reach you.
I will guide you through the process
Amilia
amiliapowers@gmail.com


#inspired #healing #healingthebrokenhearted #inspirations #motivational #howdoiforgive #InspirationalWomen #quotestoliveby #growyourbusiness #careerwoman #valueurself #femaleentrepreneur #entrepreneur #femaleentrepreneurs #myownboss #womensupportingwomen #bosschick #womenstyle #womenstuff #womeninspiringwomen #coffewithamilia

The Roller Coaster Ride--Pain Narcissist

The Roller Coaster Ride of Recovery

When the Shit hits the fan, you are left in the dark. You lose your bearings and thrown off balance, your emotions are flip-flopping all over the place. You are wondering why me? What happened? What's next?

You love them and hate them, you begin to search the web because you're running on high anxiety. The biggest question you ask yourself is, are they in as much pain as you? In the back of your mind, you already have the answer, but you still move forward looking for something, anything to satisfy your hunger.

No matter what they put you through, you can't seem to turn off the switch connecting them to your heart. You find yourself struggling with the loss. The emotional pain that keeps a stronghold on you and all levels of his manipulation, you can't seem to come up for air. Your world seems to be wiped out from under you as if someone quickly pulled the rug but you manage to stay together.

You finally gather enough strength to tell yourself, "You can do it," then the unthinkable happens. He ends up on your doorstep ringing the door like a mad man and pounding on the door with his fist expressing his apologies loudly as if he is desperate. He's not back because he loves you, he's back because he hasn't destroyed you and he's pissed.  His mission is to leave you with pain and alone. He doesn't like watching you move on with your life, happiness is out of the question.

You know if you answer the door it would be the worst move you have ever done. There is a demon on the other side that is ready to deliver grief, sorrow, and pain. You might have been questioning yourself, should I or shouldn't I? Now is the time to put your foot down and make a change. You did just that when you didn't open the door, you didn't fall for the whining evil voice.

You changed, you became stronger, more aware of what is happening in your life. Knowing that loneliness in a painful relationship is the worst place to be. You began to separate yourself from friends and family who are either narcissists or remained connected to the narcissist. The last thing you want to do is live in your past. Cutting ties is what needs to be done. This is a great start for a new life.

I'm the woman you are reading about, who has been through this. A woman who found her way through the darkest of times. A woman who praised God, and never stopped believing that I was meant to live a better life other than pain. I'm a woman just like you. I never gave up on me.

Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who has her voice, who stands up for what she believes in, and smiles about having control of her life. 

That is you. 

Visit me at www.valueurself.com and leave me a message, and the best time to reach you. You're not in this alone. I'm here with you.

I have created a special addition to my meditation practices. It is back from popular demand. It is "Personalized Meditations."

These Meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and be more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone, help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.

Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems. We are excited to share this with you:

For more information about this, click the link below.

https://valueurself.com/collections/personalized-meditations

The biggest myth is people believing that they cannot shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the Meditation is personalized, you tune right into your life and solutions. There isn't any sound that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.

Be Blessed

I look forward to speaking with you.
Leave me a message, and the best time to reach you.

Amilia Powers
amiliapowers@gmail.com