When your mind knows more than your heart is telling you.
I would like to first congratulate you for getting a toxic person out of your life. Abuse is not the way to live. It is the most difficult process you have to ever deal with. You literally had to manipulate yourself out of a situation that you knew was dangerous knowing you will be torn up emotionally from the aftermath, saving yourself is the only thing on your mind.
What you tell yourself is, healing through the pain and hurt is a far cry from staying with a man who has tormented and emotionally abused you day in and day out. You found this amazing strength through and power having your life back. It hasn't been easy, but it's a relief, and the burden has lifted. You are doing everything you can to stay strong and together because you understand better days are coming and it is all in a matter of time that his true colors will be shown to the world. There is not much you have to do or say to anyone, his actions will speak for themselves.
You wake up in the morning putting your best foot forward working through the cobwebs in your mind of what just happened and dusting yourself off. Giving yourself encouragement that "You Got This." You continue on your day, at times cried your eyes out and there are days you feel so powerful that you feel unstoppable. Your gaining power through the motions. You know you will be alright, and you keep the faith and never give up.
As your days come to a close, and your home after a long day at work. You have dinner, and you sit silently and pray every night, and thank God for giving you the strength to get out of the abusive relationship and a chance to live a life you are created to live. A life that brings you laugher, and joy. Reconnecting with your family and friends. You feel the smile that you longed for.
Even with your everyday struggle between your heart and mind, you knew there was no chance of changing your situation unless you took the steps to do it yourself. Understanding that it would have gotten worse, and your position harder to overcome, there was no better time than now to remove yourself from his poison. The back and forth, love and hate, abuse and pretend took a lot of you. It was enough.
I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman's advice you can trust. A woman who found her way through the darkest of times. I woke up every morning praising God, and never giving up hope. I praised him in good times, and when I was cursed at. He saw me through. I never gave up on me. I will never let you give up on you.