Thursday, February 28, 2019



If you haven't had a chance to read the FIRST PART of the 
7 STEPS for leaving an Unhealthy Relationship.

Click this link:

Take a minute and do so. 



Step #5: Establish Your “Enough is Enough” Level

“There’s only so far that you can go before you say that enough is enough.”
~Jennifer Granholm~

Having tolerance is necessary for life, for certain, because we need it just as much as we grant it. However, there can be a fine line between tolerance and getting trampled on. That’s what we must work on because someone who gives too much tolerance in a harsh relationship is susceptible to:

Mental abuse
Physical abuse
Verbal abuse

All abuse is detrimental to us and never helps us to grow—despite what an abuser may claim. We need to determine when we’ve had enough and stand strong!

Sometimes, it can be helpful to step outside of your situation for a moment and to look into the situation of another. If your child or a good friend was going through what you are, would you wish something different for them? You likely would. How would you go about helping them to recognize that “enough is enough”? Whatever you’d do for them is likely what would work for you.

Your Challenge: to find a way to recognize when your tolerance has been pushed to its limit and you need to take control. When we work together on this step, my clients find that it is an amazing and liberating feeling to be aware of this. It increases their confidence and faith in their outcome.

Step #6: Believe In Your Gut Instincts

“Make sure that you always follow your heart and your gut, and let yourself be who you want to be, and who you know you are. And don't let anyone steal your joy.”
~Jonathan Groff~

We need to heed the warning signs and have complete awareness of what is happening in our lives. No one else can do this besides us, because our instincts and Intuition reveal themselves to us alone—internally—and to others through our choices and the actions we take.

Through being present and watching and listening, we can see what is coming in our future. This means that we have the gift and blessing of being able to not push aside what is happening. We can take action and by doing so, we know that tomorrow will be a better day for us. What may seem good now is not always good tomorrow. 

For example: taking the abusive talk one day usually means that another day will come where you are forced to decide if you will take it again. And again. And again. What is happening in front of you right now will keep happening if you don’t allow your gut instinct to guide you out of it. These feelings are often hidden, and sadly forgotten for a long time, but they are there with the soul and sole purpose of guiding you in wisdom and a more favorable outcome.

Your Challenge: face what is wrong in your life, recalling those past “I knew I should have…” or “why didn’t I listen” sentiments and draw strength from them. You can follow the lead of your intuition and tune in to the problem and its consequences. This is a fundamental, strategic step that I take with my clients to help them restore their trust in their ability to make positive decisions for themselves and help to eliminate regrets.

Step #7: Respect Yourself

“Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters.”
~Dan Coppersmith~

No one likes to be disrespected! Once we feel disrespected and do not speak up, it is likely going to continue, growing more severe as time goes on. When that happens, you feel belittled and you’ll curse yourself for not standing up to yourself, further belittling you. Then things get really tricky because…you are now disrespecting yourself, as well.

Volatile personal situations lead to a significant decline in one’s self-respect and as a result, we remain in the situation longer than we can. Respect is easy to lose, hard to gain back, and also necessary in life. This stage takes work, which is why it’s the source of so much of the work that I do with clients. In many cases, I’m the first person whom they feel has treated them with respect in a great while. 

Can you imagine? For me, when I finally recognized that I respected myself and I had value, it was the cement to the changes that I had to make to redefine my life so I was better for me, not to mention better for my children.

Your challenge: remove yourself from your toxic environments as quickly as possible. The longer you stay, the harder the struggle. You may not have hit rock bottom, but consider the moment you know—this moment—your rock bottom. Reaching out with people in need when they need it most is part of how the transformation begins. It’s the reason that the forums for help and growth that I facilitate can take place anytime.

You may connect me at:, ValueUrSelf—Facebook, Twitter,

My Mission Statement

Helping people come full circle by shedding the victim mentality and transitioning to a healthy place

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