THE REASONS WE STAY QUIET
As a young girl growing up in a European Environment. We are consistently told to be seen and not heard. Our duties were to help our mothers run the household, by cleaning, cooking and doing other chores to keep things properly maintained, and in order. While the men of the house handled the financial end of caring for the family.
There were days when life was extremely difficult. The arguments and fighting were so unbearable, I found myself in my room under the covers that were on my bed, trying really hard to block out or muffle all the noise. Wishing for it all to stop.
I wanted so much to have the nerve to say something anything at all to stop what was happening, but I was too afraid. I thought to myself, why isn't my mother speaking up. Why isn't she standing up for herself?
As time went on and I got older. One morning I had the nerve, and ask her that very question. Why don't you stand up for your self? The answer that I received made me very upset with her. She told me she didn't want to discuss these things with me and to be quiet and go to school. As I walked out of the house that day, I looked back and wished I could help her, and make all of this go away. I had such torn feelings in my stomach. As if my heart was ripped in two.
I was mad at my father, hated what he was doing. All I could think about was, this is the man I looked up to and loved who is causing this hurt, and pain, and at the same time, I was saddened for my mom because she didn't have the courage to stand up for her self, and continued to stay silent.
I wanted to speak to someone, anyone but I could hear my fathers voice in my ear, "whatever happens in the house, stays in the house." I didn't want to be the one to tear my family apart. I know my mother loved him and adored him, I realized that she is the one who would have to take that step.
The time came I finished school, and I began to enter into the business world to start making my own income. I found myself carrying that burden of silence around with me everywhere I went. It was like a bag strapped to my waist. I found myself being more and more like my mother every day. "Silent"
There were people at work and in my day to day encounter, that pushed me around, spoke down to me and took advantage of my good will. I didn't have the courage to speak up and tell them that I don't deserve to be treated like this. I allowed this to happen. There were times I would arrive home from work, so mad at myself for not saying a word, it reminded me of the conversation I had with my mother.
Days turned into months then years. Nothing changed at home, and it seemed nothing changed in my life, but I met a man. He was wonderful and treated me the way every girl dreams of being treated. I mistook that for amazing love and unfortunately, it turned into torment and pain. My fear of letting go consumed me. I loved him and wanted it to work. I didn't want to tell my parents, I knew they wouldn't understand, because of the way they lived their life. I actually stayed silent for a long time and put on this dreadful appearance that my life was perfect.
I struggled with my heart. I knew things needed to change. There was no more love left in my being to give to this man. The unkindness, the ruthless energy he put out was destructive and dismantled any feelings in our household. Everyone was under attack and we never knew when he was going to strike. We were all on the defensive.
I wanted him to go where ever he needed to go and become someone else's problem and not mine. But then again, I couldn't wish this on anyone. The days and nights blended together. It was uncomfortable being in my own home. A place where you can lay your head down and rest became a home without peace and love. No joy rained upon me, no happiness came near. Like a house in the desert with nothing around for miles. It became a very lonely dwelling. I had one thing I knew he could never take away was my faith in the Lord. I prayed day in and day out for guidance. I knew he had my back. I knew this isn't the life he wanted for me.
I was so grateful and thankful when the relationship finally ended. No words can adequately describe the liberation I felt. I was instantly freed, no longer thinking about what had been. I never looked back. I was so inspired not to let this happen to anyone. I refuse to let a woman wait as long as I did to change her life. No one deserves to be treated this way.
I began to write and held workshops to help women all across the country stand up and take notice of their life. I also created meditations through my prayers that are now helping thousands of women overcome these struggles in their own lives. Silence can only work against you and not for you. Being at war with your heart, and feeling those deep wounds that no one can reach, because you decided to stay silent is not the way you want to live your life.
Your life can change. I'm proof that you can find someone that will love and cherish you and treat you the way you are supposed to be treated. It took some time. I wasn't in any rush. I worked on me and became stronger, healthier and more excited about life than I ever was. I drew in people that are doing amazing things in the world. There is nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy and smiling and has her voice. You will find yourself surrounded by joy and love.
I'm thankful and grateful everyday. For the good times and for the bad times, they have brought me to where I'm today.
You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you. You are not alone. I will answer any questions you may have
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit my website www.valueurself.com
I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you through this situation, these were my prayers turned into meditations.
These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. Help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.
For more information, click on the link below.
I have created a special addition to my meditation practices. It is back from popular demand. It is "Personalized Meditations."
Our meditations have changed the way people view healing and solving problems. We are excited to share this with you:
For more information about this, click the link below.
The biggest myth is people believing that they cannot shut off the noise long enough to meditate. Let me tell you a little secret. When the Meditation is , you tune right into your life and solution. There isn't any sound that will affect this. It is the most incredible experience you will ever have.
I look forward to speaking with you.
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