Keep Your Personal Stuff To Your Self
The most toxic thing you can do to yourself is to let too many people know about your personal life.
We want to believe that most people have a kind heart and an open ear when you are talking about something that is upsetting to you, but it is not always the case.
Putting yourself out in public even with the closest of friends does not guarantee that your information won't be passed on to another party. It may not have been done vindictively, but it happens, and then a tumble effect begins.
We would like to believe that there is trust between two people having a personal and confidential conversation about something that is so important to you.
Let's take your relationship for instance. If you need to speak to someone, try to narrow it down with one person. Don't spread out your information to several people. Keep it tight nit, to a close friend or a family member. That one special person you know that has always given you support. There is no need to extend yourself to strangers.
Not everyone has your best interest at heart. Unfortunately, some people feed off of your sadness, and it really makes them feel better about themselves that you are dealing with a misfortune, pain or hurt.
In fact, by choosing random people to speak with, co-workers, acquaintances opens the door for them to use your words against you. I'm sure this has happened to many of you. You then become tied up in a web, not only are you working on your own situation but now you are trying to get out of a problem because you spoke to the wrong person and said the wrong thing, even if it was honest and from your heart on how you are feeling. You might have said something about your boss that upset you, or a family member that hurt your feelings. You could have said something about your spouse, boyfriend or friend.
What happens next is this person tells your boss what you said. They might have called your family member, or spouse boyfriend or friend to let them know how you feel, even if it wasn't their place to do so. The twist here is you got them involved by sharing what you felt about a specific problem you are going through, and they have a right to do what they will with that information. They could even add their own narrative, and you have no control over that. The only thing we have control over is who we give our information to.
Be careful who you allow in the reach of your family, and what kind of information you leave laying around that can easily be placed in someone else's hands. Especially beware of who you are speaking too.
The most important thing here to observe is who you are speaking with.
1. Is this person happy in their own personal life?
2. Do you notice them gossiping about others on a daily basis?
3. Are they always negative?
4. Do they hate what they are doing in their life?
These are very important traits to look for. You should walk away, and save yourself a lot of grief and mounds of pain. If they gossip about others, most likely they will cackle about you.
Remember there is nothing private about your life once you talk about it.
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I look forward to speaking with you.
We will continue our conversation on Wednesday.
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