What A Narcissist Leaves Behind
In my relationship with a narcissist, the most painful issue I encountered was, he would never remember what he said or did to me the day after or even the day of his rage. Whenever I would bring up how I was treated, the answer I would get was "I'm out of my mind." He acted as if he didn't know what I was referring to. A big puzzled look on his face, as if he was struck with Amnesia.
Has anyone ever received this nonchalant attitude from a narcissistic partner? It's more painful than being cursed at in public. At least out in the world he is showing what kind of coward he is. But behind closed doors, my heart is being torn in two.
A man trying so hard with his manipulation and his campaign to make me believe that I'm overreacting or unstable, doing the best that a narcissist can do to create doubt in my mind. He wouldn't let me speak a word when his bullying took over. Believing that his hurtful behavior was brought on by me. That I was the creator of my own pain. Being with him for quite some time I realized he fed his strength through chaos and violence. His inner demon was being fulfilled. He was his healthiest during conflict.
As time went by I did the best I could to hold myself together. I knew in my heart and through my faith, I would get through this. I did what I could to arm myself with knowledge. I gathered information I needed from professionals, I asked many questions and found guidance to walk me through an emotional roller coaster by staying focused. By acknowledging the games that were played and I started not to entertain in his made up arguments or give him the attention that a narcissist craves. In order to stop this roller coaster ride, I needed to stop it myself. I was exhausted and wanted my life back. I knew by doing this, he will eventually leave, I would be no use to him. He would begin to round up his next partner, someone who would give him the attention he needs as a lifeline, someone who would listen to nonsense, and his cry as a victim.
Now, don't think for one minute this was easy at all. He didn't leave without causing a dramatic exit. There were many pieces to pick up after he left. Relationships with family and close friends that I had to rekindle with. There wasn't anything that he didn't try to destroy. There is only one thing that he could not touch is my faith. The power that led me through my pain. No matter how many times he called and tried to talk. I made sure the door was shut forever. Don't be played by his apologies. They mean nothing. There isn't one thing this man could say to me to allow him back into my life. Nothing.
If you are in a relationship like this, or recently out of your relationship. NO CONTACT is what I would prescribe for you. No contact should be your number one priority. When you finally have no fear of the narcissist, you will diffuse their power to conflict any more abuse to you. If you have children, and can't apply no contact with your abusive partner? Use the Gray Rock Method instead. Please take a few minutes and look this up.
STAY AWAY ANY WAY YOU CAN.
The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy.
You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute.
You can reach out to me, and I can help guide you. You are not alone. I will answer any questions you may have.
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit my website www.coffeewithamilia.com
I have created a series of four (4) Meditations, that can help you with this situation, these were my prayers turned into meditations, that are now helping thousands of women like yourself, live the life they were created to live.
These meditations will lead you out of the darkness, keep you calm, and more focused. You will leave fear behind, become stronger, and never feel alone. Help heal your broken heart and ease your pain. As well as those who have suffered the injustice of another.
You can get more information, by clicking on the link below.
I look forward to speaking with you.
We will continue our conversation on Sunday
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