Tell Your Heart To Beat Again: Living with a Narcissist--No More Abuse

Stand Strong, No More Abuse

TAKE ACTION

I would like to tell you a bit about myself. I was in a bad situation with a very abusive man. I couldn't tiptoe light enough, it was as if I was walking on pins and needles, even my silence was deafening to his ears. He suffocated my voice, my inner peace was in turmoil. He could hear my cry for help, which I believed helped him to identify my weakness. This abuse was not in my head. I knew what kind of relationship I was in. How do I know this you might be asking? Because I was never treated this way in my entire life. I knew this is not what love represents. All I was to this person was an object, a living thing to physically, mentally control, and abuse. The unsettled feeling of not knowing what to do, or what was going to happen next had me frightened in every way possible. I never saw this coming.

The change in the relationship was instantaneous as soon as we moved in together, all of the horrors of a life I never knew excited, I was living. All I kept thinking was, what the hell I did to my life? I knew I had to change this. There aren't enough hours in a day, month, or year that I could put into this type of madness to change him. I would just be giving him another excuse to abuse me even more for mentioning the changes that need to take place. I continued to remember that this isn't the love I dreamed of, I deserve to be treated better than this. My abuser needed to change himself, his issues are not mine, or yours to worry about if this is happening to you. But most importantly I needed to focus on me. I wanted desperately to become a stronger, and healthier person.

I knew gaining the understanding of these crucial points would help guide me to step away from this unkindness and create standards in my life that I will live by going forward. In fact, I want to embrace the love I deserve.

A loving relationship full of kindness, and respect for one another. I was raised with these principles.

"A person who loves you will never find it in their heart to abuse you."

I am with you, and I know in my heart what you are feeling. I know why you are reading this message. We need to remove ourselves from this abusive situation, there is NO time to waste. The longer we wait, the more abusive, and unbearable the situation becomes.

These are Five (5) things that helped me overcome:

1. We need to stop accepting this abuse, and making excuses for it.

2. We need to understand this is not our fault, and we can't change them.

3. We come first, and family (children) we are not alone in this abuse cycle.

4. We must reach out for help. Ask for assistance, ask for guidance.

5. We need to make a stand and change our life. You are the keyword.

Nothing changes unless we change our circumstances. No one is going to do it for us. I cannot express enough, that you need guidance, you can't do this alone, especially when there are children involved. Making a change is never easy, it can be very scary, but we have to do what is best for ourselves, and our family.

Two major factors play a big role in why we don't let these stop you from the life you really deserve.

1. Financial help, (most times this is the biggest problem)

2. You are still convinced that they will stop abusing you, and they will change. (a common issue)

I do understand we are very emotionally involved in our own situation, and each issue is very delicate when it comes to abuse, I more than understand this point. I know we want to believe that things will get better, and these men will change. We want them to treat us with kindness, and love us the way we always wished they would.

The truth of the matter is, this is the reason we need to speak to someone and reach out for help. We are not in the position to make a rational decision in our lives if we are making any type of excuses on why we should stay in a destructive relationship. Please remember you deserve a kind and loving life, filled with all the joy the world can give. We will never know how life feels if we remain in an abusive lifestyle.

There comes a time, we have to make a choice, and take responsibility for what is happening in our lives, and make it better. We have to have control over our lives. The power is ours. You know what to look for, you are an intelligent person. The warning signs are clear to you. You will not allow any of this pain back into your life again. You will set boundaries at the beginning, you will have standards you will live by. You know what to do at the first sign of disrespect. Your foot will always be planted firmly on the ground with anything unacceptable. Please do me a favor and reach out. It will change your life. This step has changed mine.

Don't give up the fight, you're the most valuable currency there is