One Very Important Fact About A Narcissist--Painful Heart
What I learned
Misery loves company is what the narcissist stand by, that's their "Golden Rule". They are incapable of feeling joy the way you do. It's impossible for the narcissist to understand why and what makes you happy. If it is not about them, nothing makes any sense to a narcissist. The question resonates in their mind. "How can this be happening?"
They are unwilling to think about your needs. They lack insight into your emotions. The narcissist believes you should feel the same way they feel. Staying with them will drain your happiness, you will no longer feel whole. The only choice you will have is to live for them and only them. Give up any thoughts you may have of changing them, making things better by giving up more of yourself to satisfy their needs.
Don't expect them to be happy for you when you do well. They will never praise your successes to anyone. This makes them feel very insecure about themselves and they will blame you and tell you that it's your fault they feel terrible. You will never get a narcissists approval to live your best self. You put yourself in a very unhealthy position with them. This may trigger rage inside of them and they may begin to isolate you from your family and friends. You have taken the spotlight off of them and they can't handle it. The unfortunate part of their scheme is, you will never know it is happening. Until one day when you need help and you find yourself alone.
Most narcissists will not love unless they are getting something in return. Don't think for one minute you are their everything, their one and only. Just because they resited these words to you doesn't mean they are committed to you forever. Once they have taken from you what they need they will discard you and move on, which will leave you with pain, scares, and emotionally battered. The questions of; "What did I do?" "Where is everyone?" will hit your heart.
A narcissist has their own fragile emotional drama. Don't take their bullying for a strong secure man. On the contrary, they are the most insecure and have deep demons they can only resolve. They feel empty, and fill their void by having dominate control over our lives which gives them a sense of accomplishment. We can't take on that responsibility. Because of this, they will go to any length to make sure your smile is gone, your laugh is distant, and you don't know where to begin to put your life back the way it was once they leave. They need you to feel their pain. There biggest fear is that they are nothing without you. The narcissist must share their agony.
If you found a bit of you in this story, please do not wait another minute. You must reach out. You must let your family and friends know what is happening in your life. The direction is difficult alone. There is too much confusion. You can do this. Do it now. The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you, your laugh, and joy. You are a valuable woman, that deserves to be treated with a kind voice, and loved with the utmost respect. Love is amazing, but the right kind of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. If this relationship sounds familiar and you need help picking up the pieces. Join thousands of woman who have changed their lives with my help. Visit me at www.coffeewithamilia.com.
Be blessed, Stay in Faith I look forward to speaking with you.