Don't Make Excuses For Their Actions
Narcissists are classic bullies. They will ambush you, and take you down without a moments notice. They will always blame you for their actions, and never take responsibility for what they are doing. They will deny that they are doing anything wrong and tell you it's all your fault.
Narcissists are manipulators and have a way to turn the table upside down and unfortunately, it lands in your lap. Your thoughts become deep, and you begin to feel bad for them. They drain you emotionally and physically, you just give in because you are so exhausted.
Narcissists are cowards. They hide from what they are doing, by putting on a show to the outside world, an appearance of a stand-up man, a kind loving family man. Validation from people that they hold a higher power of love and happiness and kindness is a must.
Remember, you are short term for a narcissist. He knows he is going to leave on bad terms, they will cause destruction and you won't even know what happened, it's important he doesn't lose the sympathetic voice from the fake persona he portrayed in public. His mission is to make you look bad in all aspects of your life. He needs this power over you so people will come to his defenses.
We made the mistake by not telling anyone how we feel or what is really happening in our lives. I know I have done this. I praised him in public, while I was abused emotionally and drained physically. Yes, to strangers, it looked like it was all my fault. What the hell was I thinking? I helped him set up ammunition against me. His plan was in motion. I have to say I didn't see it coming. All I wanted was peace, that was my focus. I needed to get through the day, and not carry the pain with me.
I spent many sleepless nights at the kitchen table. I needed to close my eyes just for a minute. The thought of being in the same room with him put knots in my stomach, let alone sleeping in the same bed. Knowing what my day entailed I needed to take care of me. Yes, ladies, it was brutal. At this point, I couldn't wait until he left. I didn't even care what people thought of me. They weren't in my life, so it didn't matter anyway. I just wanted him gone.
I wanted my life back the way it was. Having fun, smiling and enjoying the people I loved. I was finally being honest with myself and realized this isn't the way I wanted to live my life. This isn't what I imagined love was like.
The day came when I felt strong. I didn't give him the opportunity to stay. I didn't feed off of his nasty energy. I spoke my mind. I stood up for myself. I was scared, but I had NO choice but to take control of my life or remain in shattered thoughts for the rest of my life. Looking over my shoulder, not knowing what was going to happen next. Definitely not the way to live.
He finally left with a trail of destruction behind him. He threw poison in the air from his words and continued shooting darts even after he left. I was so happy the demon left the building. I was thankful and grateful, excited to pick up my pieces. I knew I deserved a life of happiness. It felt amazing. The freedom, I embraced the world and everything in it.
Ladies, please if you are reading this and it has any type of resemblance to your story. Please reach out. The cost of staying in a relationship without value becomes a lonely place. Remember how important your smile is to you. When was the last time you laughed so hard and your stomach hurt of joy??
Love is amazing. We all know how that feels, but the right type of love is very important. Don't waste another minute. There's nothing more exciting than a woman who is happy smiling and has her voice.
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