Tell Your Heart To Beat Again: I DON'T CARE--NARCISSIST ABUSE

I DON'T CARE WHAT HE'S DOING!!

WHY DON'T YOU CARE HOW HE'S DOING?

From love to abuse in a matter of an instant just about sums it up. You spend time being loving and accommodating to a person you thought loved you and cared about you the same way you cared for them. To only experience pain and torment and everyday abuse from him.

The rollercoaster ride he put you on and blamed you that it is all in your imagination. You begin to question if it was you who might have taken the abuse the wrong way. You have to shake yourself awake from this horrible dream you are living. Your heart is in constant struggle with your thoughts.

The first question pops up. "How did I get to a place of despising the person I loved so much?"

I'm going to explain 3 reasons why "I DON'T CARE" Maybe you feel the same?

BECAUSE HE ENJOYED ABUSING ME!

The abuse was a game that he played very well. He was so convincing he had people eating right out of his hand, the poor victim card. They believed every scene he made up and roll played. As if he was a famous actor performing on Broadway.

The scenes that I had to go through was like a scary movie. You know that show you had to cover your eyes almost the entire movie In hopes that it will soon pass and you can lift your head and take a breath.

The cowardly laugh of a villain that wouldn't stop cursing and abusing me and my family. The terror that came out of one man or should we say one demon that hurt and pained many families.

A person who feeds off of tormenting and abusing others, because he has low self-esteem and has no self-worth or value that he can bring to anyone but his pain.

That's the key ladies, they need us to feel their pain. This is what keeps them powerful

and feeling good.

I HAVE MY LIFE BACK

Not looking back was the best thing I have ever done. No more shattered dreams, no more loneliness. I don't have to go on about my day convinced that this is true love. No more switching from love to hate. No more feeling I have no choice and remain in an unhealthy and unsafe relationship.

No more staying silent and waiting for the bomb to go off. No more walking around the insecurities of a man who doesn't appreciate my value. I don't have to shut off the noise in my mind anymore of the cursing that came out of his mouth.

This was the darkest place I have ever been to in my life. But having faith in God knowing that this man was passing threw and he wasn't a part of my plan or my future or my life rather than God had for me. Gave me the strength and courage to add forgiveness in my heart and find peace.

I can't express what it feels like to laugh freely and smile so hard my face hurts. To dress great and not be belittled and spoke to so unkindly. I feel there is nothing more amazing than having your friends and family around that love you.

I have to say. I never heard the word "Narcissist" in my life. It's only when I had this abuse happen to me is when I started searching and reading and did what I could to understand who I was up against. I needed to educate myself so I will never have to experience this type of pain ever again.

No One Gets A Pass

Having love in our lives is amazing. But the right kind of love is very important.

PRAYER CHANGES THINGS

Taking time to heal and putting my life together changed. I felt myself not giving into nonsense. My awareness became stronger. I took time for myself. I traveled and began writing and coaching and wrote a novel and several books. I changed my network of people. I became stronger in faith, and prayer became my everyday.

I prayed for my family, direction, guidance, and strength. I began to speak to women all across the country who were overwhelmed with abuse and pain and the hurt that took over their voices. I became their voice. I continued making changes and working really hard to get the message out to the world.

My message: "There is Strength in Hope"----Amilia Powers

During my travel, I met my husband. A kind wonderful special man. I have to admit I never thought this type of man existed. Gentle, looking out for my needs. His kindness goes beyond what I ever imagined. I never thought I would be planning a wedding and walking down the aisle with the man of my dreams.

I believe in the power of prayer. I believe that God hears our pain and knows what you need.

I feel we need to give ourselves time and heal.

Going through pain and struggle, being abused is never easy. I can say this because I know this first hand. It does get easier in time. Time is the magic word. There is no rush, you take as much time as needed. Stay active in your life. Stay in faith and strength.

I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman who found her way through her darkest hour. I never gave up hope. I never gave up on me. I will never give up on you.