BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Why You Should Remove Yourself From A Toxic Partner:
The first thing that happens when we leave, is we start overthinking. Give yourself the ok to collect your thoughts. Emotionally process the experiences that took place. Every day will trigger a different memory of the actions and words from your abuser.
The second thing that begins to happen is we feel that we could have done things differently. We focus on the last incident and replay everything in our mind that happened before then. The blame game is being sorted out in our thoughts. This tends to happen because the Narcissist planted the seeds that it was all your fault. The only thing that this accomplishes when thinking this way is, giving him your power.
The most unkind thing you can do to yourself right now is feeling guilty for something you didn't create or do. You've been bullied in believing this was all because of you. It is an awful heart retching feeling and I know this very well. It takes time to understand what happened to you. We are in complete shock.
I'm going to share three (3) ways you need to Get Out...
Stop the fairytale that they will change...
A narcissist is a very unpredictable person. Their thought pattern is not like ours. They don't feel bad if they hurt someone's feelings. They will never apologize and mean it. Narcissists know how to twist and manipulate in having you feel as if you're crazy and don't know what you're talking about.
We are not responsible for their behavior and what is going on deep in their deranged mind. They are destructive beings with their entire inner shell is rotten. Only out for themselves. They can dismantle you in an instant.
They are dangerous, their actions have shown you time and time again that they don't respect you or appreciate anything you do. You can't hold on in hopes that they will change. They need help and this is not your specialty. Even with the Therapist, there is no guarantee they will ever change. A narcissist will never admit they are the problem to lose their power.
Get connected with your life...
The most important thing you can do is understand what has happened to you. Get connected to your life. Your focus should be 100 percent on you and your wellbeing.
We need to stop worrying about what the Narcissist is doing in his life. Stay off the internet, stay away from his friends and family. Anyone who will distract you from healing and picking up the pieces. Yes, cry get upset, let your words be known. Vent out loud. This is all apart of your healing process, but please do this with your love ones.
Stay off the phone with people who really don't care. You don't need to hear whispers in your ear about a new fling. It's time to protect your heart while you heal and gain strength and clear your life of clutter, and that means everyone who he knows and is in his life. Nothing good will come out of those conversations if you need to discuss children keep the contacts at a minimum.
Start From Scratch...
Love yourself more than you ever had in your life. You learned what you will not accept in your life.
Enjoy how important it is to be around people who love you unconditionally. Your family, and friends.
Begin your new and improved life, by getting rid of all those items you have lying around that remind you of your pain, the hurt that was caused by the person who gave them to you. Replace them with joy and love and things that are precious to you.
Remember your hobbies and interests that you put aside. Start where you left off. Share your ideas with love ones and social groups. Wipe your slate clean and begin to shine and smile more now than you ever have.
Take your time, be kind with your heart while going through this difficult time. Make sure you give yourself a break and enjoy the process of a more loving and fulfilled life.
Going through pain and struggle, being abused is never easy. I can say this because I know this first hand. It does get easier in time. Time is the magic word. There is no rush, you take as much time as needed. Stay active in your life. Stay in faith, and in strength.
I'm a woman who's been through all of the things you are going through. A woman whose life was slammed against the wall. A woman who found her way through her darkest hour. I never gave up hope. I never gave up on me. I will never give up on you.