There's a message in a way a man treats you:
We tend not to listen very well when a man is speaking. This happens when we don't want to believe what he is telling us. We want our relationship to work, and live happily ever after. We begin to overcompensate. We know there is a problem, and begin to act as if everything is fine. We try to do more to please and become drained because that's not the problem.
We close our eyes, so we do not see what is really going on or blurry vision will occur because our heart tells us everything is going to be alright. In fact, when we close our eyes, the other sense's pick up everything. Our hearing tunes into every word. We hear all the answers we have avoided.
No one is ready for this experience. We are not equipped emotionally to put anything in order to handle a broken heart. All we can say to ourselves is; I love this man, and why is he doing this to me.
What do you think we do next?
We go right into protective mode "Silence." We can't get any words out, because anything we say won't make any sense. Our heart is crying, and we feel torn. Words, thoughts and our heart are not working together. You can't even find any excuses in the pit of your stomach to make yourself feel better. You used them up, (bad day at work, or he's tired, etc...) You have to figure out how to engage in a conversation without looking needy, desperate or just outright begging.
How we react will give us the upper hand on the outcome of our relationship. If you yell and become nasty, he won't have second thoughts about leaving for good. You can take a different approach, and remain calm, and rational. You already knew something wasn't right. You did everything else to avoid the situation. Now it's time to confront it straight on.
There is no beating around the bush. You already know how he feels. He spelled it out for you many times. He is waiting for some type of a response from you, acknowledging that there is a problem in your relationship. You must start a conversation. You don't want to have any separation or break up without trying to communicate.
Your asking, how do I begin?
1. When you are collected and can remain calm.
2. At a time where there are no distractions.
3. When you understand that this must happen, to live a happier life.
4. When you can acknowledge there is a problem.
Only when you can answer these 4 questions, you are ready to take the next step and communicate.
Every relationship is different. It has weaknesses and strengths. Make your connection stronger with communication, and understanding. You both are wonderful people. You have been with each other for some time, and have a good idea what they are all about. This is a position your heart didn't know it was going to find it's self in.
If he decides that both of you need a break, you must honor that and agree. You can't force him to stay, and begin an explain why, when things haven't been right for a while. It doesn't help matters any.
After you have the conversation with him. It won't make your feelings stop running, but it will take the pressure, and burden that has kept the both of you in an uncertain state for a while.
You were tired of trying to overdo and refused to believe this was happening. He didn't know what to say to you, worried he was going to hurt your feelings. You both were in a trap, you created for yourselves.
You don't know what the future holds. You are leaving your hearts open to each other. Maybe a break is what will bring you closer and stronger. Or you may find different people, and It was for the best. You have to trust your plan. Our journey is made up of many people. We have to remind ourselves to embrace the good times, and the bad times. This is what molds us into the people we were created to be, and the person we spend the rest of our life with.
While you make this change, continue to keep the light on in your heart so people can find you. Laugh, smile and enjoy life's richness. Be around people who love you, and support you.
Most of all, be patient.
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